Tell parents to not bring sick children into playgroup

[Motherofking]

My toddler was born during lockdown so we never went to playgroups. We have started going to this playgroup on Thursdays. First time we went there a day after my son was sick with a viral infection for nearly 2 weeks with constant fever and diarrhoea. The gp told me he likely caught it from another child who had the same infection. I brushed it off afterwards as one of those odd infections that toddlers get. Next time I went to the playgroup when my son recovered, I saw a the playgroup leaders son covered in little rashes and spots and he had a snotty nose. The week after when I went there again I overheard the group leader talking to the mum next to me saying ‘ ive had such a rough week, we have just recovered from hand , foot and mouth disease’. That very same day my toddler became ill and got the same rash the little boy had, I went to the gp said he has hand , foot and mouth disease too. I added one and one and realised that my son caught it off her son in .
Is there some kind of playgroup policy whereby parents shouldn’t bring in sick children . I am not talking about a little cold , I am talking about the viral infections and contagious infections. I don’t want to confront the playgroup leader, but would it be wrong of me to message the playgroup as they have a playgroup WhatsApp chat and ask what is the policy with bringing in sick children who have viral infections into the playgroup. Also would I be wrong to suggest without insulting anyone that children who are ill should not be brought in .
Again i am not talking about a minor cough or cold, im talking about viral infections and contagious diseases

Should i message the group saying this or should i just leave it and stop my son from going there

Well I assume she knows her child well enough to know he's coming down with something rather than just having an off day.

If your son was born in lockdown and hasn't been to nursery yet it's pretty normal for him to pick up everything initially, it will slow down.

My second was born in lockdown and went to nursery at 13 months. He came down with absolutely everything, we both had to take so much time off work and still seems to constantly has a runny nose or a cough. Obviously nursery is more full on that a playgroup but after them being cooped up for so long it's only natural for them to get ill when exposed to all these new germs. I don't think my son was ill once in the 13 months before I returned to work.

I have 4DC, ran playgroups for 7 years, I am also a primary teacher and I have never ever met a parent who willingly sent their child out into the world, knowing that they were contagious

Really?
I'm surprised, tootootaataa. In my experience, people often send their children to school (and elsewhere) with colds.

If you stop going now you're just delaying the inevitable of when he goes to chool and is mixing daily with other children.

@Marynotsocontrary

I have 4DC, ran playgroups for 7 years, I am also a primary teacher and I have never ever met a parent who willingly sent their child out into the world, knowing that they were contagious

Really?
I'm surprised, tootootaataa. In my experience, people often send their children to school (and elsewhere) with colds.

In my experience, people are mostly pragmatic.

@surreygirl1987 - yes, we had to take a lot of time off, constantly being called. Then they got Ecoli and banned from nursery for 5wks. Good job my employer was understanding

@WTF475878237NC

Well I assume she knows her child well enough to know he's coming down with something rather than just having an off day.

I was referring to your “selfish parents” jibe and you know it. No need for that, and it does not reflect the comments on the thread

In my experience, people are mostly pragmatic

Yes, I agree tootootaataa they are. But colds are contagious so your earlier comment didn't make sense to me.

As I mentioned upthread, my children were sometimes hospitalised with colds (complicated by asthma) when they were younger, so I had to take them a bit more seriously. And my children picked them up in school and in playgroups.
A lot.
Presumably from the other contagious children who were sent there.

My eldest missed at least two months, on and off, of his first year in school because of colds. Some of that time was spent in hospital.
Thankfully he was okay.

A pp lost her child who contracted a cold.

You're right in saying that people tend not to send children in to school/playgroup with chickenpox, vomiting bugs etc. And I know, for many people, colds aren't a big deal. Lots of small children are hospitalised with them though, particularly if they have an underlying condition.

Just wanted to point that out again, as there appears to be a lack of awareness that colds are contagious, viral infections too, and that they can sometimes cause young children to be seriously unwell.

Well yes, my child was hospitalised twice with bronchiolitis during his first year and had ongoing respiratory issues as a result. It was awful. But I didn’t blame “selfish parents” for letting their children into public with what for them was a mild cold.

I don't blame 'selfish parents' either. But there does seem to be a lack of awareness (at least on this thread), which is a different thing. If something is outside your experience and you don't know about it, why would you even try to be careful?
It does no harm, I think, to let people know that some children get much sicker than others with the common cold.

And just to add that one of the reasons they get so sick is because of their age. We all know that immunity can build up with repeated exposure to a disease, so people think you may as well get these infections over early. But the airways of babies and young children are smaller and narrower than those of older children. A little inflammation of a tiny airway can cause a big problem, and that's another reason why colds can become less of a problem as children grow and mature, and why it's wise to take more care around very young children.

My own DC tended to 'grow out' of needing oral steroids prescribed for almost every cold aged around 8 or 9 at any rate.

@HayleyBay I’m so sorry for your loss

@dabs76 oh okay I thought you meant a year off when you said constantly ill for a year! 5 weeks must still have been really tough though. Hope all okay in the end!

I understand where you are coming from, but unfortunately it's not that simple. Hand foot and mouth is contagious for around 3 weeks after they have it so NHS advice which schools follow is only to remain home while feeling unwell as no benefit to a longer isolation like there is with sickness bugs etc.
After a fever/sickness and diarrhea 48 hours is reasonable to expect and usually followed by schools near us, not so much my parents.
Unfortunately it's also hard to tell what is serious and what isn't. Things effect everyone so differently, we have one child who gets very unwell easily and one who doesn't, and our healthier child has repeatedly had a very mild sniffle at the same time as our poorly child ending up hospitalised with what is presumably the same illness given the timings.

You are not being unreasonable at all. The nursery that I’ve registered my daughter for says in no uncertain terms not to bring any viruses or bugs to nursery and to stay away.

People who spread illnesses are incredibly selfish.

What I mean is people who knowingly spread illnesses.

There was another thread on here recently where the OP wanted to go to a book club with a cold and most people thought that was selfish.

This is life with a toddler op. I'm a lone parent and came close to losing my job with the amount of time I had to take off to care for my dd at that age

I don’t think the OP is contesting the fact that toddlers get ill all the time. I think people have missed the point.