Tell parents to not bring sick children into playgroup

[Motherofking]

My toddler was born during lockdown so we never went to playgroups. We have started going to this playgroup on Thursdays. First time we went there a day after my son was sick with a viral infection for nearly 2 weeks with constant fever and diarrhoea. The gp told me he likely caught it from another child who had the same infection. I brushed it off afterwards as one of those odd infections that toddlers get. Next time I went to the playgroup when my son recovered, I saw a the playgroup leaders son covered in little rashes and spots and he had a snotty nose. The week after when I went there again I overheard the group leader talking to the mum next to me saying ‘ ive had such a rough week, we have just recovered from hand , foot and mouth disease’. That very same day my toddler became ill and got the same rash the little boy had, I went to the gp said he has hand , foot and mouth disease too. I added one and one and realised that my son caught it off her son in .
Is there some kind of playgroup policy whereby parents shouldn’t bring in sick children . I am not talking about a little cold , I am talking about the viral infections and contagious infections. I don’t want to confront the playgroup leader, but would it be wrong of me to message the playgroup as they have a playgroup WhatsApp chat and ask what is the policy with bringing in sick children who have viral infections into the playgroup. Also would I be wrong to suggest without insulting anyone that children who are ill should not be brought in .
Again i am not talking about a minor cough or cold, im talking about viral infections and contagious diseases

Should i message the group saying this or should i just leave it and stop my son from going there

I agree people shouldn’t take their kids in if they knowingly have things like chicken poxs etc. It’s just the same for adults. You wouldn’t go to work if you would infect others with something nasty.

I used to be a playgroup leader. I also had a child who would catch everything going.

You commit yourself to helping out / running it every week. You can't just let people down every time your child has a mild virus.

With my DS I wouldn't have taken him to playgroup with HFM as he was pretty bad with it. My eldest only had a handful of spots and we would have been non the wiser if nursery hadn't noticed.

I sent my eldest to nursery with Chickenpox - it wasn't deliberate. She had 2 spots on her chest and I didn't click at all that she has CP. If I had I wouldn't have sent her.

You have to make a call at the time. When you are running something it is not easy to say you can't make it.

It may have been that she did not realise that he had HFM at the time.

Also it's not actually something you are excluded for.

I know its not ideal. But if you are going to take your children to these type of groups then you do need to accept that they will catch viruses.

If you don't accept that - then its your child who needs to stop going.

[quote Motherofking]@SeasonalNamechange why would it be half empty ? is it normal for half of the population of toddlers to have viral infections causing vomiting , Diarrhoea and dieases such as hand and foot mouth or chicken pox all the time ?[/quote]
Yes it is.

@surreygirl1987 Dont understand how i am being over the top when you are agreeing with me . You stated that no one should attend if they had a known chicken pox , i agree with that and said the same but in reference to other similar viruses such as hand in foot mouth .

[quote Motherofking]@SeasonalNamechange why would it be half empty ? is it normal for half of the population of toddlers to have viral infections causing vomiting , Diarrhoea and dieases such as hand and foot mouth or chicken pox all the time ?[/quote]
Nurseries are obviously stricter than playgroups with exclusions (and don't give refund for sick days as they'd be out of business!!) and my son's room has been more than half empty for weeks as kids are constantly ill. Just trying to demonstrate and give you a sense of how often toddlers are ill. It's normal. Even more so in playgroups where it's not monitored / being policed as much as in nursery. Again, I'm not saying you are being totally unreasonable, Op. But you are being unrealistic with your expectations.

I agree with you, op. Playgroup isn't essential and this sort of thing put me off going

@Ohsofedupwiththis Maybe i am ignorant . I grew up in Africa and yes it was very normal for children to be ill a few times a year but not at this rate . The gp told me its normal for them to have anywhere between 8-10 colds / infections a year. So i guess i am just a little surprised

@Motherland101 I understand maybe my expectations are unreasonable

Yabu

If I stayed in every turn my son is sick or caught a cold from nursery I'd stay in every other week. Wait until he's at nursery and there all sharing germs.

My lo had hand foot and mouth for the 3rd time he carried on going to nursery as advised because he was well enough we stayed away from soft plays and friends until about 48 hours after.

[quote Motherofking]@PeachesPumpkin I know that i do expect my toddler to be ill occasionally but not every time he goes in he needs to catch a virus . It causes us lack of sleep for two weeks and he goes two weeks without eating which isnt good for him either[/quote]
under normal conditions your child would have been exposed to these things and built up a decent immune system, but because of covid the kids havent mixed at all, or very little. so they are coming down with anything and everything lately. sorry to say but its a case of grin and bear it until he catches back up, but what i will say is that the playschool should have warned you in advance of what is doing the rounds that week, i guess they didnt as they are scared people wont attend?

Get all the sickness done before they start school. Otherwise you'll get it then and then impact is worse

Hand foot and mouth is not like chickenpox. Chickenpox can be a very serious illness in some children requiring hospital treatment. That is why the NHS advise is to keep a child at home until they are over the infection period. HFM is not serious and is unlikely cause any complications. (Although any virus even the common cold can cause complications if you are unlucky). The virus shed from the airways for up to 6 days before symptoms and for weeks after symptoms are gone (months in the stool). That is why the advice is to only keep a child at home if they not well enough to go out. Keeping children at home for longer is unlikely to stop the spread.

[quote Motherofking]@PeachesPumpkin I know that i do expect my toddler to be ill occasionally but not every time he goes in he needs to catch a virus . It causes us lack of sleep for two weeks and he goes two weeks without eating which isnt good for him either[/quote]
It’s so shit but it happens and there’s nothing you can really do about it. Anything Covid or sickness and diarrhoea related kids should be kept at home of course but viral infections, cold, hfm etc It sucks but it just happens. I also think the more often they are poorly the less it tends to affect them.

My daughter caught her first cold just after she turned one, first time in soft play after restrictions lifted and she was ill for a month, feeling so sorry for herself, not eating not sleeping well the works but she’s been are nursery now for over a year and she’s probably had 4 collective weeks of ‘good health’ she just gets on with it. Sucks as I’m sure it’s hindering her growth but I’m not sure there is anything to be done xx

I disagree with the way you dismiss colds OP, which are also viral infections. Many small children have asthma and can suffer quite badly with colds. My own often needed treatment with oral steroids and sometimes ended up in hospital on oxygen too. Quite frightening really, though you get used to dealing with it and they improved as they grew older. Vomiting bugs etc were easier to manage really, anything that involved the airways was a bit of a nightmare in the early years.

[quote Motherofking]@Ohsofedupwiththis Maybe i am ignorant . I grew up in Africa and yes it was very normal for children to be ill a few times a year but not at this rate . The gp told me its normal for them to have anywhere between 8-10 colds / infections a year. So i guess i am just a little surprised[/quote]
My children were at school when the pandemic struck.

We did not have that worry hanging over us. It was just normal illnesses then. And my DS has actually avoided Chickenpox so far.

I would find it hard to have toddlers now.

I actually kept my child of school for the slightest of coughs a few months ago. Never before would I have done that!

It's a hard time for everyone. The chances are he would have got HFM at some point. Hopefully that will be the only time he gets it.

I am however a very strong believer that exposure to germs is good for the immune system. Whilst it is frustrating at the time, it is a positive thing in the long run.

I think the first few years are generally just one bug after another, and if you have more than 1 DC someone always has one illness or another. I used to go nuts about it initially, especially with things like nits and threadworms, but eventually learnt to let it wash over me and take it in my stride. It is a major bummer if you end up having to take a lot of time off work to care for a sick child, but think of it as a master class in natural immunity building for your child!

@Marynotsocontrary sorry to hear that . I was not aware of how colds could impact some children .

I hate when parents do this, find it so selfish. I wouldn't dream of doing it and furthermore the child should be at home resting and recovering not being traipsed around.

I'm also talking about stuff like sickness bugs, hand foot etc not a common cold.

Get your children vaccinated against chicken pox. My siblings both has it as adults, and were very ill indeed.
I know kids who puke when overexcited and are fine a few hours later. That’s the only acceptable exception to the 48 hour D& V rule.

I ask myself if I had the same illness would I go to work? So if I had hand foot and mouth, chickenpox or a virus with a temperature I wouldn’t go to work, therefore I wouldn’t take my DC to their regular environments like playgroup or nursery. It’s not really about just the children it’s about not forcing illness onto families (including parents) who may have health issues or vulnerabilities.

Welcome to a life time of this op :)
Kids are germ magnets and your kid will be sick a lot... but it just strengthens his immume system. I get where you are coming from of course,but in the real world there is just no stopping Kids going places when ill (well most ilnesses obvs. Because for some you should /must stay home)

Dont stop visiting play groups otherwise youll just delay him getting sick all the time when he goes to school.

You need to just ride the horrible germy wave.

I remember my girls had a period of time on starting nursery where they were sick pretty much solidly for a few months. It was horrific. But in both cases it eventually passed and now (touch wood) they are honest to god never sick.

"I grew up in Africa and yes it was very normal for children to be ill a few times a year but not at this rate "

op I don't think it's got anything to do with growing up in Africa or anywhere. I don't think one actually realises (unless you work with babies and toddlers) just how often they get ill until you have your own and they start interacting with others (or you start working in a childcare setting). I have tons of nephews and nieces in various African countries and without fail, once they started going to childcare settings, the illnesses were nonstop. Then they build up immunity and it all calms down

Yanbu @Motherofking it's outstanding how many parents disregard common decency of others

I think a regular cold and runny nose is fine but if you child isn't well ie not themselves just keep them home.

Clearly Cp HFM d&v come under not being themselves! And yes CP or HFM might be unnoticed so thats unfortunate and can happen.