Tell parents to not bring sick children into playgroup

[Motherofking]

My toddler was born during lockdown so we never went to playgroups. We have started going to this playgroup on Thursdays. First time we went there a day after my son was sick with a viral infection for nearly 2 weeks with constant fever and diarrhoea. The gp told me he likely caught it from another child who had the same infection. I brushed it off afterwards as one of those odd infections that toddlers get. Next time I went to the playgroup when my son recovered, I saw a the playgroup leaders son covered in little rashes and spots and he had a snotty nose. The week after when I went there again I overheard the group leader talking to the mum next to me saying ‘ ive had such a rough week, we have just recovered from hand , foot and mouth disease’. That very same day my toddler became ill and got the same rash the little boy had, I went to the gp said he has hand , foot and mouth disease too. I added one and one and realised that my son caught it off her son in .
Is there some kind of playgroup policy whereby parents shouldn’t bring in sick children . I am not talking about a little cold , I am talking about the viral infections and contagious infections. I don’t want to confront the playgroup leader, but would it be wrong of me to message the playgroup as they have a playgroup WhatsApp chat and ask what is the policy with bringing in sick children who have viral infections into the playgroup. Also would I be wrong to suggest without insulting anyone that children who are ill should not be brought in .
Again i am not talking about a minor cough or cold, im talking about viral infections and contagious diseases

Should i message the group saying this or should i just leave it and stop my son from going there

Hi OP,

I think you are being a little naive. The reality is as soon as your child starts to mix in any capacity, this is what happens. Yes its annoying to lose sleep and have a poorly child but it will happen whether its now as a result of playgroup, or when we starts nursery or when he starts school.

My DD's first year of nursery she has been ill at least one every month. The GP told me the first year they are in any kind of school or nursery, it's a rite of passage with so many illnesses.

You are being unreasonable when it comes to hand, foot and mouth too. My DD had it earlier in the year, and her spots took a few weeks to disappear. But NHS guidance is as long as the child is well and has no temp their is no reason to keep them isolated. So it doesn't sound like the playgroup leader did anything wrong. It's unreasonable to expect parents to be off work for weeks on end.

It's hideous isn't it. Our youngest has had literally everything going and it has been a miserable few months. We debated not going to groups but then realised they will catch everything from their older sibling anyway.
You have to just let it go, although I completely agree it is absolute shit constantly trying to battle illnesses in children.

@uptheantrimcoast yes its true , I caught it too from my son and with both of us being ill it was difficult especially because i am alone.

@Staryflight445 Thanks i will consider changing groups and maybe going less

@tootootaataa by saying its not school i meant to say that it is not essential to attend a playgroup. I would be more understanding if it was a nursery setting where parents cant always take time off work but as it is a playgroup the parents could choose to stay at home, they dont have to bring their children in .

It is rubbish, but you are getting the bugs out of the way before school!

@HayleyBay Im so sorry for your loss

@RealBecca I think i will consider skipping a few weeks then going every now and then instead of every week. even thought everyone else is saying its good for his immune system i dont think my toddler going without food and sleep for a long time is good for him, a break inbetween illnesses is needed

For the sake of your child's immune system, no. He needs to pick things up to build an immunity to them and strengthen his immune response.

Who made you the boss of playgroup?

Kids catch everything going when they start to mix.

Off if they have D&V or are actively running a temp or with chickenpox or similar but if they were off every time they were under the weather they’d never be at playgroup.

@UltimateBugKilla i understand that . But for the sake of his health he also needs rest inbetween illnensses . He has spent over a month eating little food and getting little sleep going from one illness to another in a short space of time. I dont think thats healthy either.

@Waahingwashingwashing so bringing in a child with an infection which causes diarrhea is considered to be just under the weather ?

I said off if they have D&V?

@Waahingwashingwashing i said the same thing too in my post and stated that im not expecting parents to keep children with a minor cold at home but would expect that with anything more. So clearly you did not disagree with me . What was the point of you comment

Can’t you read?

@Waahingwashingwashing read what i wrote . Just say you wanted to ask me who made me the boss of the playgroup .
You didnt disagree with me

Your title is

Tell parents to not bring sick children into playgroup

The only people who can do that are the people who run the playgroup.

There are normal every day illnesses that your child is going to be exposed to at some point. Better now than at school.

@Waahingwashingwashing So you only read the title and decided to comment ? it is a title there is only so little i can write. so according to you because i do not run the playgroup i cant say anything ?

I read the thread 🙄 hence my comment about D&V.

Your child is going to catch things as he is mixing with other kids. Better at playgroup than school.

It is probably the least fun bit if having small kids and somehow you don't even consider it when you're pregnant but the early years are relentless in terms of illness. There is no escaping it unless in lockdown. Even I am finding now that after 18 months of being healthy I have had a cold for the last month, followed by covid. Look at it like an investment in your child's health. If you stop going to these groups, your child will catch them anyway once they start school.

The problem is often kids are contagious before they get the symptoms and so parents haven't necessarily taken them to the group knowingly. Then there's the advice on hand foot and mouth that can be confusing - if the NHS advises that they can go to school/nursery and the child doesn't seem very poorly a lot of parents will just think it is that mild for every child. It is frustrating but on the plus side your child should have a better immune system when they start school/nursery at least - my eldest was constantly ill when she started nursery which she would then pass on to me and her dad (2 full weeks of norovirus).

I think you may need to gently adjust your expectations of how often toddlers normally get unwell. It’s not “occasionally” by any stretch. The last two winters my toddler has had one thing after another pretty much from November to March - it’s felt constant at times. If we stayed home for every common childhood illness we would have not left the house for months on end. It’s inconvenient and hard when a child is ill, but it’s good for them in the long run. Building up immunity now will save them from having to have lots of absence from school when they’re older.

@mewkins I understand . I think the issue isnt my son catching them , its at the rate that its happening . Right after the other . for two months hes been ill three times . I wouldnt mind the illnesses if they were spread out over a period of months but not right after the other . I think thats where my frustration comes from

I understand your concern, but I'm afraid its a fact of life that as small children start mixing together (playgroup, nursery, school) they acquire all kinds of infections from each other. Their immune systems will get stronger with practice!

Next, nits.

I would be pissed off that someone knowingly spreads hand foot and mouth at a playgroup.