Tell parents to not bring sick children into playgroup

[Motherofking]

My toddler was born during lockdown so we never went to playgroups. We have started going to this playgroup on Thursdays. First time we went there a day after my son was sick with a viral infection for nearly 2 weeks with constant fever and diarrhoea. The gp told me he likely caught it from another child who had the same infection. I brushed it off afterwards as one of those odd infections that toddlers get. Next time I went to the playgroup when my son recovered, I saw a the playgroup leaders son covered in little rashes and spots and he had a snotty nose. The week after when I went there again I overheard the group leader talking to the mum next to me saying ‘ ive had such a rough week, we have just recovered from hand , foot and mouth disease’. That very same day my toddler became ill and got the same rash the little boy had, I went to the gp said he has hand , foot and mouth disease too. I added one and one and realised that my son caught it off her son in .
Is there some kind of playgroup policy whereby parents shouldn’t bring in sick children . I am not talking about a little cold , I am talking about the viral infections and contagious infections. I don’t want to confront the playgroup leader, but would it be wrong of me to message the playgroup as they have a playgroup WhatsApp chat and ask what is the policy with bringing in sick children who have viral infections into the playgroup. Also would I be wrong to suggest without insulting anyone that children who are ill should not be brought in .
Again i am not talking about a minor cough or cold, im talking about viral infections and contagious diseases

Should i message the group saying this or should i just leave it and stop my son from going there

@IDontDrinkTea Thanks for sharing. Maybe i will consider taking there less instead of stopping completely

@IDontDrinkTea

Honestly, if you stop taking him places, you’re just delaying him catching everything until you do go. It’s part and parcel with kids. I know someone that didn’t take their child anywhere for this reason, then when she sent her to school she was ill permanently as she just had no immune system

This is exactly what I was going to say, my two sons joined childcare and caught everything, it felt relentless then once that period was over they have very rarely missed a day of school since. They are now 15 and 16.

Toddlers are Ill all the time it's part of growing up. You just wait until they start proper early years pre school or school. It's better to get the worst of the bugs over and done with really.

[quote Motherofking]@SnugKnights but a playgroup isnt a nursery or school . Parents dont have to bring in their children if they are unwell to a playgroup. With nursery or school i understand that it is not practical for parents to take time of work but with a playgroup that is not the case[/quote]
You don't have to take your child either.
Children are allowed into school with hand foot and mouth and slapped cheek etc.
This is a notorious time of year for bugs, we call it germ term. Your child is always going to pick up bugs. Soft play, the park even shopping is rife with them. God help when they start school and parents send kids in who have been sick all night and watch how quickly bugs spread then

@shouldistop Yes i know there is a possibility that he could have infected other kids . However i feel like once i know he is infected i wouldnt bring him around other children. I just slighty annoyed at the parents who are aware their children are unwell and purposely bring them around other children.

@SeasonalNamechange yes i know i can leave . I also dont attend when my son is unwell to not spread it to other kids because we dont have to go in . it is not school as you have said . So parents dont have to bring in their sick children .

@LittleBearPad

Look on the bright side he won’t get hand foot and mouth again so it’s done with.

Small children are germ magnets. He won’t come to any harm.

Sorry to disappoint, but you can indeed get hand foot & mouth multiple times!

[quote Motherofking]@LittleBearPad Thanks i guess thats a positive way of looking at it[/quote]
Lol. I agree with you that if I thought my child had chicken pox or similar I wouldn’t take them. But colds and minor viruses - you’d never get out.

Hang in there. Buy tissues!

Theres 2 things here.

One is whether any parents should bring their kids to a group when ill. I run a playgroup and we ask parents to be sensible and not attend when their kids are infectious. This is normal common sense. My youngest daughter caught chickenpox age 1 from someone at my eldest daughter's school and it was 3 weeks before she had any symptoms at all, so we could have potentially passed it on to other toddlers unknowingly during those 3 weeks. Impossible to say. These days noone will deliberately bring a sick child to a playgroup.

The other issue is the group leader attending when she is infectious or her kids are ill. In these cases, the whole group would have to be cancelled and everyone would probably be asking for a refund of their fees. So its not as simple as just staying off for the group leader.

As others have said children do need to mix and build their immune systems. My eldest had a permanent cough/cold/sickness bug for the first year of attending nursery age 1, but since then has rarely been ill. Its normal, and annoying/exhausting, for them to pickup all these bugs.

Sorry to disappoint, but you can indeed get hand foot & mouth multiple times! sad

Sorry op. Mine only got it once!

[quote Motherofking]@PeachesPumpkin I know that i do expect my toddler to be ill occasionally but not every time he goes in he needs to catch a virus . It causes us lack of sleep for two weeks and he goes two weeks without eating which isnt good for him either[/quote]
Yes but the thing is, before the pandemic it was very common for kids to pick up everything as soon as they started nursery (particularly eldest children).

Since the pandemic, kids are now dealing with having to step out of a sanitized socially distanced life and straight into the germ pit AKA nursery.

It's going to be much harder to adjust and to be fair, many kids are contagious before their symptoms really show enough to keep them off.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/hand-foot-mouth-disease/

It is unlikely your child caught hfm and then the rash appeared on the same day.

I suspect your child was highly contagious with a viral infection and contagious disease on that day and he has probably spread it to other children.

That is absolutely shocking. Perhaps you should take more care?

Seriously though- kids get ill, kids spread germs brilliantly, especially before they are ill. Kids build up their immune systems and all those little viruses soon become a thing of the past.

It's shit at the time. Its horrible to see them poorly (although I did enjoy the cuddles and hours spent with them on the sofa) but it's all doing them good.

I just want to state that i am aware that children will be ill easily due there immune system and i am not stating that I can prevent my toddler from catching viruses. I know that it can be passed on even when symptoms are not showing. My issue is parents who knowingly know their child is unwell and still bring them in just like the playgroup leader did. Just because children need to build up their immune system and easily catch everything doesnt mean we should voluntarily expose them to it .

@Ohsofedupwiththis If you re read what i wrote i state that one the week before my son developed the rash i saw it on the playgroup leaders son. also i did take care by not taking him to the playgroup and passing it on further to other kids

It is annoying and I wouldn't take mine to playgroup if they were unwell with anything more than a mile sniffle. But the playgroup won't have a policy and can't police it.

well the playgroup would be half empty at the very least if you had it your way op

guess it would fold with no income. no more playgroup then

So what is the playgroup leader supposed to do, cancel the group for everyone each time her child has a mild illness? The group would never stay open

I think you're being OTT to be honest. I agree that nobody should be going to playgroup with (known) chicken pox, for example. But if I avoided playgroup or nursery or whatever activities because one of my children (or me!) has a cold, we would never go anywhere. I can't remember the last time there wasn't somebody in my family with a cold!

My little boys and husband also had HFaM recently. A doctor told us to carry on as normal and not avoid nursery or our usual activities 🤷‍♀️

@surreygirl1987 re read what i wrote . I never mentioned not going in due to colds . I stated viral injections and contagious diseases

@hemhem The playgroup pleader could stay at home with her child until he recovered . They are other people who run the group too so it wouldnt be closed

Tbf a cold is a viral infection though

If I couldn’t leave the house every time my toddler had a runny nose we’d literally never leave. We’ve currently just had a vomiting bug, a cough and viral conjunctivitis all in one week. We stayed home for longer than the required time but I can’t do it every time she’s got a slight cold, I’d definitely get the sack.

I get where you are coming from and yes it's exhausting when little ones are poorly but it's going to happen, no matter which playgroup / softplay you go to. It's just what it is with toddlers being constantly ill and the way they pass on germs (touching, licking, picking everything up). There's always going to be a risk and it's up to you whether you attend these playgroups or not. No point messaging the WhatsApp group as it won't be received well, as a PP said likely that places would fold as 80% of toddlers wouldn't be able to attend. You weigh up the risks FOR YOU and make your decision to attend or not to attend based on that.

@SeasonalNamechange why would it be half empty ? is it normal for half of the population of toddlers to have viral infections causing vomiting , Diarrhoea and dieases such as hand and foot mouth or chicken pox all the time ?

@elbea you did the right thing . you stayed at home .