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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take my 14-month-old to Buffet Island ?

158 replies

allyoucaneat1 · 25/10/2021 21:09

Some old work colleagues from my old workplace are planning a get-together sometime in December.

I was invited as well.

We will meet sometime around 6 pm and go to Buffet Island, which is a Chinese buffet place in Birmingham.

I plan to take my 14-month-old. One of the reasons is that I want to give my partner a child-free evening. He has been off work for some weeks due to an accident and took the brunt of the childcare while I was working.

Buffet Island is a fairly informal, low-brow eatery.

I have seen plenty of kids there, but I have only been around lunchtime so far. One of my ex-managers also took his 1-year-old daughter there once, but that was also around lunchtime.

My son has been to restaurants before and has been fairly well-behaved. He's also a good eater and will munch on everything you put in front of him.

His bedtime is between 8 and 9 pm, so it won't be too late for him. At that time of the day, he is usually wide awake.

I talked to my mother today and she said that it was a really bad idea. She said my son would be extremely moody and won't like it there and that he would disturb the other guests. She said I won't be able to enjoy my food.

So my question is: AIBU to take him?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 25/10/2021 21:11

Taking a baby along will completely change the dynamics of group so you certainly need to talk to others first

IsDaveThere · 25/10/2021 21:14

YABU. I would not be impressed if I was going to a catch up with a few ex-colleagues and one of them brought her baby along!

Bumblenums1234 · 25/10/2021 21:15

I would be annoyed if I was going out for dinner with friends and one of them was accompanied by a baby. I would have sorted childcare myself to have a rare night out. It changes the dynamic totally. I do take my ds out for dinner a lot but it is always really clear that is the deal when the event is being organised.

SylvanasWindrunner · 25/10/2021 21:15

YANBU to take him to that particular place but you are YABU to take him to what is presumably an adults event. Will your friends want a child there? It sounds like they'll probably want to have dinner and some drinks - not exactly child friendly. If it's a kid-friendly occasion and they're bringing their own kids then crack on.

19lottie82 · 25/10/2021 21:16

If it’s midweek casual thing and everyone is going home after the meal, then maybe. If its the Christmas night out, then no. Sorry.

maddening · 25/10/2021 21:16

Yabu, Get your mother to babysit? Arrange another night eg go and stay at dmums with the baby and give your dp the night off then.

toastofthetown · 25/10/2021 21:17

Will your friends want your toddler to be there? Your son will massively change the tone of the evening from what's planned as an adult catch up. Even if he's well behaved and eats the food and doesn't disturb the other diners, your colleagues might not welcome him. Can you not give you partner a childfree evening some other time?

Poetnojo · 25/10/2021 21:19

I wouldn't take him to an evening like that. If you want to give your partner a break you could take the baby off somewhere any other night.

ChequerBoard · 25/10/2021 21:21

No don't do that. Leave him at home and give your partner a. Hold-free evening another time.

People won't say anything but they won't be pleased that brought a baby to an evening social event.

Pieceofpurplesky · 25/10/2021 21:21

Tiny bf baby maybe. 14 month old definitely not

MaudebeGonne · 25/10/2021 21:22

Even of your group of pals are delighted to have you turn up with your toddler (and I am pretty sure a lot of them won't be), it is going to be the height of Christmas Party season and there it is going to be loud and drunken and noisy. Even the most placid of toddlers would find it overwhelming. I think it is an awful idea and I think you would regret it.

Toottooot · 25/10/2021 21:23

If I found out you were planning that I’d be pulling out. I’m not leaving my child at home so I can have a meal out (regardless of how low brow it may be) for someone else in the party to take their child. Would rather spend the time with my own child.

Goblina · 25/10/2021 21:23

If it's a pre-Christmas work dinner then no, do not take your toddler. It will likely not be appreciated by your colleagues!!

Original poster
allyoucaneat1 · 25/10/2021 21:24

It is an informal, casual get-together after work.

It will be midweek and everyone will be going home afterwards.

If it was a posh place, I wouldn't take him.

I have seen plenty of kids and families there before that is why I thought it would be appropriate.

All of my colleagues are parents as well, although their children are older and some of them are grownup.

That is why I thought they would be understanding and wouldn't be hostile to him being there.

OP posts:
FrownedUpon · 25/10/2021 21:24

Oh my God, no don’t take him! I’d be really pissed off if one of my colleagues did this. They don’t want your son there.

NCsobroke · 25/10/2021 21:24

I know buffet island and can say for sure the restaurant is totally fine for children and I know my DC at that age would happily sit, so long as the food kept coming.

However as PPs have said, check with the others attending don’t just show up with baby in tow.

Chocolatewheatos · 25/10/2021 21:25

I don't think there's anything wrong with taking your baby as long as everyone you're meeting is happy for you to bring them. The location is fine, but is the event?

ChequerBoard · 25/10/2021 21:26

So how many other colleagues have brought their very young children along to previous casual mid week after work dinner events?

If the answer is none then really don't do it.

(Lunchtime events are not the same)

PugInTheHouse · 25/10/2021 21:26

100% no unless they have specifically invited him along. I'm really surprised anyone would even consider this to be ok.

OwlinaTree · 25/10/2021 21:26

No don't do this. Take him out another night of you want to give your partner a child free night.

You don't turn up to an adults get together with a toddler.

Thatsplentyjack · 25/10/2021 21:26

I don't think ut matters if you've seen kids there before, it matters what your group are doing.

MrsToadflax · 25/10/2021 21:27

You've seen kids there because they were out with their families. You're going to a works Christmas get together. No, you should not take your toddler. What happens if he's over tired, over stimulated and won't settle? It will ruin the evening for everyone. It's an adult event.

WheelieBinPrincess · 25/10/2021 21:27

Nothing to do with the poshness of the place.

They’ll probably be annoyed as, if they’re parents too, they’ve made the effort to sort childcare to leave theirs at home to have an adult night out and then surprise! There’s your little boy babbling at the end of the table spraying prawn crackers crumbs everywhere.

2021namechanger · 25/10/2021 21:27

Them having children has nothing to with it.
If everyone is bring big their kids then fine. If it’s an adults night out, rocking up with a 14 month old really isn’t on.

nocoolnamesleft · 25/10/2021 21:28

God, no. It will totally alter the dynamic. Not appropriate.

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