to take my 14-month-old to Buffet Island ?

[allyoucaneat1]

Some old work colleagues from my old workplace are planning a get-together sometime in December.

I was invited as well.

We will meet sometime around 6 pm and go to Buffet Island, which is a Chinese buffet place in Birmingham.

I plan to take my 14-month-old. One of the reasons is that I want to give my partner a child-free evening. He has been off work for some weeks due to an accident and took the brunt of the childcare while I was working.

Buffet Island is a fairly informal, low-brow eatery.

I have seen plenty of kids there, but I have only been around lunchtime so far. One of my ex-managers also took his 1-year-old daughter there once, but that was also around lunchtime.

My son has been to restaurants before and has been fairly well-behaved. He's also a good eater and will munch on everything you put in front of him.

His bedtime is between 8 and 9 pm, so it won't be too late for him. At that time of the day, he is usually wide awake.

I talked to my mother today and she said that it was a really bad idea. She said my son would be extremely moody and won't like it there and that he would disturb the other guests. She said I won't be able to enjoy my food.

So my question is: AIBU to take him?

You need to ask them and not assume they’ll be ok with you bringing a small child along.
If you don’t ask and spouts take them YADBU

It is an informal, casual get-together after work.
Your toddler doesn’t work, though. You wouldn’t bring your colleagues to soft play, don’t bring your baby to work events. It’s quite simple.

Sprouts? Just!

It is a catch up with work colleagues in a dinner kinda setting. Yabu. No need for a 14 month old to be there.

Yes yes you've seen other kids there. Which will and can happen of course! But in this kinda setting with colleagues: no.

Just leave the little one home. And if you feel guilty about leaving him with your partner: stay only for 2 hrs and go back home.

@allyoucaneat1

It is an informal, casual get-together after work.

It will be midweek and everyone will be going home afterwards.

If it was a posh place, I wouldn't take him.

I have seen plenty of kids and families there before that is why I thought it would be appropriate.

All of my colleagues are parents as well, although their children are older and some of them are grownup.

That is why I thought they would be understanding and wouldn't be hostile to him being there.

Just because a restaurant is child friendly doesn't mean that every group of diners there would want a child at their table. No-one is saying it's inappropriate to take your child to this restaurant at any other time. they are saying that he shouldn't be at this specific gathering. Get together after work usually means childfree. Have you asked the group what they think?

Yabu. If they have children themselves, no matter how old, they could be even more annoyed. It will completely change the dynamic.

Don’t do this! It’s not about where you’re going, it’s who you’re going with.

Not wanting a toddler at an adult colleague catch up isn't being hostile to him.

It will just absolutely change the dynamic of the meet up.

It will definitely annoy some of your colleagues.

The place would be fine.

The work event, probably not...

Id be pretty irritated if someone rocked up with a baby for an work evening out, without having checked it out ... You assuming that others as parents, won't mind...i think is mistaken.

You were invited. Was there any indication that they expected you to bring your child?

If it's an evening adult get together, however informal, I'd expect only adults to attend.

Don't do it.

I have a toddler myself, but I wouldn't want a colleague's toddler at a work catch up, and i wouldn't take my own. I'm sure there are plenty of other opportunities for you to give your partner a child free few hours.

You wouldn’t be unreason to take him to buffet island as it’s a family friendly place, we’ve had family gatherings there before.

You would be unreasonable to take him on this occasion as it’s clearly meant as an adults event and having a child there would change the dynamic.

I’m not sure who the YANBU votes have come from, maybe people who think it’s charming to take their kids places where they’re not invited. Leave him at home, or don’t go.

I have a toddler and I would be so annoyed even if at a family restaurant if I went out for dinner with coworkers I’d they brought there own child. You can’t do that.

Sounds like a big resounding no 😂 I think so far there has only been one person on this thread who semi backed me up 😀

It is not appropriate. If you haven't got childcare don't go. It will ruin it for everyone else who made arrangements for a grown up evening. So selfish IMHO.

Just because a restaurant is child friendly does not mean you can take your child! This is an evening event for adults and I'm sure your former colleagues will be expecting such.

Don’t do it. You’ll lose all credibility if you turn up with a toddler in tow.

Please don't be that person. I guarantee your colleagues won't want your toddler there!

YABU it’s not a child orientated event even if the restaurant is child oriented.

I’d be well pissed off if I was having a night off my kids and someone else bought theirs

No you can’t take a toddler to an ex colleagues work meet up in evening. Just leave him with his dad.

It’s an work colleague meal out. Not a mother/toddler group catchup. Don’t take him.

God no! The very rare times I get to go out without my toddler to have adult social time with work colleagues I definitely do not want to be hanging out with someone else's toddler. YAB so U

Its irrelvant about the resturant it will change the dynamic its work get together not a playdate