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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take my 14-month-old to Buffet Island ?

158 replies

allyoucaneat1 · 25/10/2021 21:09

Some old work colleagues from my old workplace are planning a get-together sometime in December.

I was invited as well.

We will meet sometime around 6 pm and go to Buffet Island, which is a Chinese buffet place in Birmingham.

I plan to take my 14-month-old. One of the reasons is that I want to give my partner a child-free evening. He has been off work for some weeks due to an accident and took the brunt of the childcare while I was working.

Buffet Island is a fairly informal, low-brow eatery.

I have seen plenty of kids there, but I have only been around lunchtime so far. One of my ex-managers also took his 1-year-old daughter there once, but that was also around lunchtime.

My son has been to restaurants before and has been fairly well-behaved. He's also a good eater and will munch on everything you put in front of him.

His bedtime is between 8 and 9 pm, so it won't be too late for him. At that time of the day, he is usually wide awake.

I talked to my mother today and she said that it was a really bad idea. She said my son would be extremely moody and won't like it there and that he would disturb the other guests. She said I won't be able to enjoy my food.

So my question is: AIBU to take him?

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 25/10/2021 21:45

Cant think of anything worse than a colleague bringing their kid on works meal

iolaus · 25/10/2021 21:45

It's not to do with whether he's welcome at the restaurant (nothing wrong with a little one going to a buffet restaurant)

It's whether or not he's welcome at THIS social gathering (hint he's not)

Take your toddler out a different night (maybe round your mothers) to give your partner a child free night (if he wants one)

nocoolnamesleft · 25/10/2021 21:50

You don't give your partner a child free night by denying all your colleagues their anticipated child free night.

Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 25/10/2021 21:50

Baby - massively.
It's work colleagues not mum friends, totally inappropriate.
Just because they're parents doesn't mean they want yours there at a work related thing. I have 3 children that doesn't mean I want to see yours or even my own when I'm trying to have a catch up with other adults.
Pfb?

Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 25/10/2021 21:50

Yabu not baby! Damn autocorrect!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 25/10/2021 21:54

It’s not the venue, I’m sure it’s a child friendly venue.

You can’t take your child out with colleagues, especially not if he hasn’t been specifically invited. The fact that have older children means they will be so over the toddler phase, not want to see him more. It changes the whole dynamic.

Your partner can give YOU this evening child free to spend in adult company. You can give him a child free evening another night.

Jsgdud · 25/10/2021 21:55

Definitely not! Changes the whole dynamic of the evening and I'd say is unfair on your colleagues. Surely to give your partner a child free evening you could just take your toddler to your parents or somewhere with you another night.

Kuachui · 25/10/2021 21:57

its not the place id be considering but whether the invite was for just you or you and a child.. i wouldnt be impressed if a colleague brought theyre child

RobertaFirmino · 25/10/2021 21:57

It's not exactly nice to see small children eating though, in fact it turns my stomach.

ChequerBoard · 25/10/2021 22:00

It's quite odd that you thought this was OK at all OP.

Do you usually have difficulty assessing social situations?

SoupDragon · 25/10/2021 22:02

I have seen plenty of kids and families there before that is why I thought it would be appropriate

But those kids are there on family trips out, not a work do.

gavisconismyfriend · 25/10/2021 22:09

Taking your child along is a sure fire way to guarantee that you will never be invited to a similar event again

golddustwomen · 25/10/2021 22:09

Buffet island is very local to me! Absolutely fine to take kids, in fact I don't think I've ever been there without my kids. Definitely mention to your work colleagues before hand though.

heebiejeebies45 · 25/10/2021 22:11

If you were just going out with a group of family/friends then that's normally fine. However going out with work colleagues one evening isn't the same thing. Even if your child is well behaved and eats nicely etc it makes no sense to bring them. If I went out with my work colleagues and came with my child I know some of my colleagues would say 'couldn't you leave her at home'😂
Don't be that person OP

MyCatEatsPrawnCrackers · 25/10/2021 22:16

I haven't been to Buffet Island for years. YWBVU to take your son but if you did go ahead, you could just park him by the chocolate fountain and let him do his own thing.

TractorAndHeadphones · 25/10/2021 22:18

You don’t even have a good reason OP - apart from wanting to give your partner a child free evening.

Clymene · 25/10/2021 22:19

You know that people with children hate having children around when they're expecting child free time way more than people without them.

There is no way if I've got a babysitter/have a precious child free evening that I want your child around

samwitwicky · 25/10/2021 22:23

Lord no. It's a work night out, however casual. Why would you bring your child along?!

If your partner needs a night off, choose another night to take your child there.

Original poster
allyoucaneat1 · 25/10/2021 22:26

@MyCatEatsPrawnCrackers

I haven't been to Buffet Island for years. YWBVU to take your son but if you did go ahead, you could just park him by the chocolate fountain and let him do his own thing.
😂😂😂
OP posts:
Janaih · 25/10/2021 22:29

Is your baby a colleague? No? Then don't bring him to a colleagues meet up.

Bunnycat101 · 25/10/2021 22:32

Just no. If I was on a rare work night out I’d be so pissed off if someone rocked up with a 1 year old. However lovely yours is, they are not the best dinner companions. You’ll be trying to entertain him, he’ll inevitably get fractious at some point and you’ll be wondering round with him or rushing to eat to avoid some sort of meltdown. You can reason with a 1yo and if he’s not in the mood, he’ll ruin your night and that of your work colleagues. I have a 2yo and there is no way I’d do this despite the fact she is getting more civilised in restaurants now. My 5 year old is a dream to take out and it is actually pleasurable. The 2yo is still like a a grenade waiting to go off at any moment. It just isn’t a relaxing experience with her at all.

Leeds2 · 25/10/2021 22:40

I am fairly certain, OP, that if you take your toddler to this meet up, you won't be invited to the next one!

NeedAHoliday2021 · 25/10/2021 22:40

If I’m spending money eating out with colleagues I expect an adult evening. Yes I have dc, yes I like dc and I’d probably like yours… not at an after work social though! Absolutely not and I’d pull out if I knew a colleague was doing that.

mirijones · 25/10/2021 22:59

Absolutely not!

Imknackeredzzz · 25/10/2021 23:05

GOD NO! I’ve got kids and I’d be bloody pissed off if someone brought their baby to a work get together. Sorry but some people are so out of tune!

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