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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take my 14-month-old to Buffet Island ?

158 replies

allyoucaneat1 · 25/10/2021 21:09

Some old work colleagues from my old workplace are planning a get-together sometime in December.

I was invited as well.

We will meet sometime around 6 pm and go to Buffet Island, which is a Chinese buffet place in Birmingham.

I plan to take my 14-month-old. One of the reasons is that I want to give my partner a child-free evening. He has been off work for some weeks due to an accident and took the brunt of the childcare while I was working.

Buffet Island is a fairly informal, low-brow eatery.

I have seen plenty of kids there, but I have only been around lunchtime so far. One of my ex-managers also took his 1-year-old daughter there once, but that was also around lunchtime.

My son has been to restaurants before and has been fairly well-behaved. He's also a good eater and will munch on everything you put in front of him.

His bedtime is between 8 and 9 pm, so it won't be too late for him. At that time of the day, he is usually wide awake.

I talked to my mother today and she said that it was a really bad idea. She said my son would be extremely moody and won't like it there and that he would disturb the other guests. She said I won't be able to enjoy my food.

So my question is: AIBU to take him?

OP posts:
mycatisannoying · 25/10/2021 23:10

It's a bonkers idea, sorry. YABU.

EnjoyingTheSilence · 26/10/2021 07:27

It’s not the location that’s the problem, it’s the group of people. This isn’t a family get together, it’s colleagues.

You say they’re all parents so you thought they’d understand, maybe they want a child free evening where they can let their hair down.

Don’t do it, don’t be that person.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 26/10/2021 07:33

It’s not a problem to get take him to that particular place (seriously my 7month old is in pubs and restaurants a few times a week and has been pretty much since she was born)

But I wouldn’t take her to a work meet up unless others were taking kids

Houseofvelour · 26/10/2021 07:39

1000% no. They don't want your child there.
Go and have fun with your old colleagues and leave your child at home.

DiamondBright · 26/10/2021 07:40

If you had no childcare and you popped along for one drink to say hello and left that would be ok, but not for the whole evening.

MyOtherProfile · 26/10/2021 07:44

Hopefully you've got the message OP!
It's not about how your child would cope but about you being there with your colleagues, not to look after your child. Please don't take him.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 26/10/2021 07:48

YABU. I would never take my child to a meet up with colleagues, I'd either find alternative childcare or not go at all.

EishetChayil · 26/10/2021 07:50

I'd be fuming if someone brought a 14-month-old to a gathering like that. I say that as the mother of one myself.

KingsleyShacklebolt · 26/10/2021 07:52

No you can't do this! Completely inappropriate for a meeting/get together with colleagues.

Pandaly · 26/10/2021 07:55

Buffet. Fine.
Ex Colleagues or whatever. Not fine.

spotcheck · 26/10/2021 07:55

@nocoolnamesleft

You don't give your partner a child free night by denying all your colleagues their anticipated child free night.
⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️
whatswithtodaytoday · 26/10/2021 07:56

Why on earth would you want a toddler at a work catch-up? The horror! (I have one of my own...)

Squirrelblanket · 26/10/2021 07:56

God no, no children at work events.

My mind is boggling that you even consider this might be appropriate or welcome.

Siennabear · 26/10/2021 07:57

Evening is very different to lunchtime. Also saying your partner did childcare while you worked … that is being a parent. It’s your evening off, enjoy it! You can’t have a proper conversation with a 1 year old to watch. I’m sure he will have his evening out at some point. Do you think he will take his child to give you an evening off?

Ledition · 26/10/2021 07:59

Like everyone else said - no! Just no. Your colleagues will roll their eyes so hard if you rock up with your baby. You'll be "that" parent in their eyes. You know the one, brings their baby everywhere and makes it all about them as they believe everyone is as enamoured with the baby as they are. I'm not saying you are that type but that's how you'll be perceived. And no parent is enamoured with other people's children when they're having a nice childfree, adult night out.

GetOffTheTableMabel · 26/10/2021 07:59

It would permanently affect my view of you if I was one of your colleagues. It would irritate me on the night and I would view you afterwards as a person who is weirdly unaware of how to behave.

It wouldn’t make me cross or mean that I saw you as entitled but my view of your judgment would have shifted a bit and, in some jobs, that could matter. I would see you as a bit clueless forever afterwards.

Cactus1982 · 26/10/2021 08:01

Why is the OP taking about ‘Buffet Island’ like everyone should know what it is? I’ve never heard of it! Is it like McDonalds or Nando’s?🤔

Pandaly · 26/10/2021 08:03

No I imagine its a buffet place.

Sparklingbrook · 26/10/2021 08:05

@Cactus1982

Why is the OP taking about ‘Buffet Island’ like everyone should know what it is? I’ve never heard of it! Is it like McDonalds or Nando’s?🤔
They do give a clue-

We will meet sometime around 6 pm and go to Buffet Island, which is a Chinese buffet place in Birmingham

HaveringWavering · 26/10/2021 08:06

How were you planning to organise yourself to get the food from the buffet? Would not most children that age be there with 2 parents, one to get the food from the buffet and the other to stay with the child at the table? Were you expecting your colleagues to watch him while you went up?
Also, have you ever tried to have more than a superficial conversation with someone who is supervising a 14 month old? It’s impossible. This only works if the whole point of your social meet-up is for others to meet your child.

Nordstrom · 26/10/2021 08:06

YABIU for going to Buffet Island Envy

Nordstrom · 26/10/2021 08:07

Not sure where the 'I came from there...

Okay let's call it incredibly unreasonable 😬

RightOnTheEdge · 26/10/2021 08:08

Buffet Island, which is a Chinese buffet place in Birmingham.
The OP explained exactly what it was in her first post.

I think that if you had no one to look after him and you really wanted to go then I wouldn't mind if I was your colleague but if I'd been looking forward to a catch up and an adult meal out I'd probably be a bit annoyed that you'd brought a kid along when you've got a partner at home enjoying a lovely child free evening.

MyOtherProfile · 26/10/2021 08:09

Yeah if only the OP had thought to explain what kind of a place Buffet Island, "the Chinese buffet place in Birmingham" is 😆

But the best quote of the thread is this:
"You don't give your partner a child free night by denying all your colleagues their anticipated child free night."

Sparklingbrook · 26/10/2021 08:12

Looks great TBF

www.buffetisland.co.uk/about/

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