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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take my 14-month-old to Buffet Island ?

158 replies

allyoucaneat1 · 25/10/2021 21:09

Some old work colleagues from my old workplace are planning a get-together sometime in December.

I was invited as well.

We will meet sometime around 6 pm and go to Buffet Island, which is a Chinese buffet place in Birmingham.

I plan to take my 14-month-old. One of the reasons is that I want to give my partner a child-free evening. He has been off work for some weeks due to an accident and took the brunt of the childcare while I was working.

Buffet Island is a fairly informal, low-brow eatery.

I have seen plenty of kids there, but I have only been around lunchtime so far. One of my ex-managers also took his 1-year-old daughter there once, but that was also around lunchtime.

My son has been to restaurants before and has been fairly well-behaved. He's also a good eater and will munch on everything you put in front of him.

His bedtime is between 8 and 9 pm, so it won't be too late for him. At that time of the day, he is usually wide awake.

I talked to my mother today and she said that it was a really bad idea. She said my son would be extremely moody and won't like it there and that he would disturb the other guests. She said I won't be able to enjoy my food.

So my question is: AIBU to take him?

OP posts:
starrynight87 · 26/10/2021 09:28

Nope!

liveforsummer · 26/10/2021 09:28

All of my colleagues are parents as well, although their children are older and some of them are grownup.

Then they definitely won't want a toddler in tow - sorry.

TinnedPotatoesRock · 26/10/2021 09:30

I'm with the majority, in fact I'd go so far as to say that I'd make my excuses and not attend if I knew people were bringing their kids, it's very rude IMO, you won't be able to give your full attention to the people there

Wizzbangfizz · 26/10/2021 09:31

Good grief no. I'd be horrified if a colleague did this.

Ozanj · 26/10/2021 09:33

I’m part Indian and am used to seeing toddlers and even babies at buffets & I doubt having him there would be an issue for an Asian restaurant like BI. But have you checked with your ex-colleagues whether they would want him there?

liveforsummer · 26/10/2021 09:34

@Cactus1982

Why is the OP taking about ‘Buffet Island’ like everyone should know what it is? I’ve never heard of it! Is it like McDonalds or Nando’s?🤔
It's a Chinese buffet restaurant. It's right there in the OP
ChrissyPlummer · 26/10/2021 09:36

I agree with pp, your colleagues will have sorted childcare and will expect you to do the same. On a side note - this sounds like somewhere I need to go 😂.

TinnedPotatoesRock · 26/10/2021 09:36

@Ozanj

I’m part Indian and am used to seeing toddlers and even babies at buffets & I doubt having him there would be an issue for an Asian restaurant like BI. But have you checked with your ex-colleagues whether they would want him there?
It's not the restaurant that's the problem, you can't just take a kid along to an adults evening out, regardless of the place.
ZenNudist · 26/10/2021 09:40

So your dp deserves a child free night but not your colleagues? How selfish.

It doesn't matter if other people take their very young dc (although annoying at 8 at night) as long as they aren't at your table.

I was in a nandos at about 8pm and there were people with very young dc, including a baby with keys being jangle and dad walking the pram around. I just thought oh god take them home. Its not a child's tea time so irs not fair on them or on the other diners listening to crying...

Even if yours won't cry will presumably require attention. Just leave at home and let people relax.

fuckitbucket16 · 26/10/2021 09:44

Of course you can’t take your toddler to a Christmas dinner with your colleagues. 😂😂😂😂

RestingPandaFace · 26/10/2021 09:52

Don’t even ask your colleagues because you are just putting them in an awkward position. They can’t say no without seeming like a misery guts, but they won’t want him there as this it their child free time.

Maryann1975 · 26/10/2021 09:53

@allyoucaneat1

It is an informal, casual get-together after work.

It will be midweek and everyone will be going home afterwards.

If it was a posh place, I wouldn't take him.

I have seen plenty of kids and families there before that is why I thought it would be appropriate.

All of my colleagues are parents as well, although their children are older and some of them are grownup.

That is why I thought they would be understanding and wouldn't be hostile to him being there.

I’m a parent and love spending time with children, but I wouldn’t be impressed if someone brought their one year old to a meal. It completely changes the dynamic. I’d be annoyed if I’d sorted childcare out and someone else decided not to do that. Nights we have a babysitter are precious, I wouldn’t want to waste one looking at someone else’s toddler.
liveforsummer · 26/10/2021 09:55

@RestingPandaFace

Don’t even ask your colleagues because you are just putting them in an awkward position. They can’t say no without seeming like a misery guts, but they won’t want him there as this it their child free time.
I agree they will probably all say fine as they can't really say anything else when asked outright. You only need to look at the responses here though to know that there is no way everyone in any group will be ok with the arrangement.
MrsDeaconClaybourne · 26/10/2021 10:00

I also think there's a difference between choosing to take him and having a last minute let down with childcare.

If your babysitter let you down and yiu popped in for a quick drink explaining what happened I think people would be broadly sympathetic. Planning to take him for the whole evening is completely different.

BoredZelda · 26/10/2021 10:17

I have seen plenty of kids and families there before that is why I thought it would be appropriate.

With colleagues on a works night out?

It's not the venue it is who you are planning to be with. You don't take your child along to these things. I meeting colleagues children, but not in this setting.

Organise another night out to give your OH a child free night. Take your kid to the cinema, or out for a meal yourself, but not at the expense of your colleagues who just want a night out.

maddy68 · 26/10/2021 10:18

I would hate you for bringing your child and I would definitely not invite you again. What about all the others that have gone for a child free night off

Singinghollybob · 26/10/2021 10:18

I don't think the issue is taking him to that place in particular, it's whether it's whether your colleagues will want him there. I think you'd be better off checking with them first, but ideally try organise a sitter for the evening if it's planned as adults only

ISpyCobraKai · 26/10/2021 10:20

Absolutely not.
It's an adults night out, I'd not be happy with someone else's child there at all.

Saoirse82 · 26/10/2021 11:44

No way!

Original poster
allyoucaneat1 · 26/10/2021 13:29

Okay, okay, I won't be taking him. I can sort of see everyone's point. Happy? 😅

OP posts:
MrsDeaconClaybourne · 26/10/2021 14:37

You've taken it in very good humour OP. I can sort of see how your logic got you to thinking you'd take him! Right decision not to though - have a nice evening 😀

iklboogiemaninthecloset · 26/10/2021 14:53

Okay, okay, I won't be taking him. I can sort of see everyone's point. Happy? 😅

You can always smuggle him some buffet home in your handbag (joking!).

RightOnTheEdge · 26/10/2021 17:45

Can I come with you though allyoucaneat1? Buffet Island sounds like heaven to me Grin

liveforsummer · 26/10/2021 18:14

@allyoucaneat1

Okay, okay, I won't be taking him. I can sort of see everyone's point. Happy? 😅
Well it makes no odds to me but I imagine your colleagues will be 😆
Loubilou09 · 27/10/2021 08:04

@allyoucaneat1

Okay, okay, I won't be taking him. I can sort of see everyone's point. Happy? 😅
What a bizarre response.

You asked for opinions, people gave them and there's now a semi stroppy response. How strange Hmm

I can only guess you're a bit embarrassed that you came up with the suggestion in the first place and are feeling a bit defensive.

Odd from start to finish.