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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take my 14-month-old to Buffet Island ?

158 replies

allyoucaneat1 · 25/10/2021 21:09

Some old work colleagues from my old workplace are planning a get-together sometime in December.

I was invited as well.

We will meet sometime around 6 pm and go to Buffet Island, which is a Chinese buffet place in Birmingham.

I plan to take my 14-month-old. One of the reasons is that I want to give my partner a child-free evening. He has been off work for some weeks due to an accident and took the brunt of the childcare while I was working.

Buffet Island is a fairly informal, low-brow eatery.

I have seen plenty of kids there, but I have only been around lunchtime so far. One of my ex-managers also took his 1-year-old daughter there once, but that was also around lunchtime.

My son has been to restaurants before and has been fairly well-behaved. He's also a good eater and will munch on everything you put in front of him.

His bedtime is between 8 and 9 pm, so it won't be too late for him. At that time of the day, he is usually wide awake.

I talked to my mother today and she said that it was a really bad idea. She said my son would be extremely moody and won't like it there and that he would disturb the other guests. She said I won't be able to enjoy my food.

So my question is: AIBU to take him?

OP posts:
FancyNan · 26/10/2021 08:13

No I wouldn't like this as it's meant to be a Christmas night out. People will feel they can't relax around your baby and have a drink. If I was in your group and you turned up w2a baby, I'd have made my excuses and left. I'm not paying ££ to babysit and fuss on my Christmas night out.

I went for a meal last wk with my kids (7 & 9) at 5:3pm and they were the only kids in the restaurant. The restaurant was really loud by then and the music was blasting. I struggled with the noise as did my ds so it's totally inappropriate for a baby.

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 26/10/2021 08:19

You can't take your baby to your works Christmas night out 😂 Why would you think this is remotely ok?!

londonrach · 26/10/2021 08:22

Is anyone else taking a child. Not sure why you think this is a good idea as it sounds like a colleague meet up not mums meet up with children. Yabu. Leave toddler at home and enjoy seeing colleague s with him. Maybe let your DH have a night off another time

londonrach · 26/10/2021 08:23

Without him

Ledition · 26/10/2021 08:24

How were you planning to organise yourself to get the food from the buffet? Would not most children that age be there with 2 parents, one to get the food from the buffet and the other to stay with the child at the table? Were you expecting your colleagues to watch him while you went up?

Oh yes good point. Perhaps you could request the whole party move table to be closer to the buffet so you can see the baby when you go up Grin or interrupt your colleagues conversation and ask them to keep an eye on him - I'm sure they'll love either suggestion!

bigbluebus · 26/10/2021 08:25

The only time your work colleagues want to see your child is maybe for a quick intro as a newborn so they can make all the right noises about how cute/gorgeous they are (and even then it doesn't mean most of them are interested). Any other interaction with your child and colleagues should be restricted to meet ups where you are particularly close friends with a colleague and they have agreed/want to meet your child. At any other work gathering your child should stay at home.

Siriisatwat · 26/10/2021 08:27

When I die, I imagine heaven to be a place called “Buffet Island”.

No opinion on your situation, but it sounds completely wonderful and I would like to spend all eternity there with a large plate.

TimeForTeaAndG · 26/10/2021 08:31

I want to know how your thought process went "dinner with ex colleagues, DP isn't working...oh I will take the baby and give him the night off."

1AngelicFruitCake · 26/10/2021 08:37

I can’t understand why you’d put your desire to give your partner time to himself (the baby’s father!) and monopolise your colleagues time who offer you and your partner nothing.

Tibtab · 26/10/2021 08:50

No one will say they don’t want you to bring a 14 month old, but your colleagues do not want you to bring a 14 month old.

IslaPineappple · 26/10/2021 08:54

One of my colleagues did this once, everyone ate fast and left. That colleague wasn't popular

Thehop · 26/10/2021 08:56

I’d tell you I didn’t mind but I would be pissed off about this.

Anotherbrokenairer · 26/10/2021 08:58

Whilst I love Buffet Island I wouldn't inflict my child on a work night out. If it was colleagues plus families then fine bit otherwise no.

SiobhanRoy · 26/10/2021 08:59

Omg my colleague did this with her toddler. He dominated the whole evening. When he kicked off in his high chair she took him out to walk around a bit outside and eventually was like omg can someone else take him for a bit?? Im missing all the chat!

People did take him but I was like I’ve left my own toddler at home for some peace! Get stuffed!

OneToThree · 26/10/2021 09:05

God no! IMO you never take your kids to social events unless specifically invited.

Staryflight445 · 26/10/2021 09:09

‘It is an informal, casual get-together after work.

It will be midweek and everyone will be going home afterwards.

If it was a posh place, I wouldn't take him. ‘

Other people might be there getting some space away from their own kids though? Do parents have to book posh places for a break?

TheFormidableMrsC · 26/10/2021 09:09

This is not ok at all in my view. It wouldn't even cross my mind to take my child to a work event like this, casual or not. Don't do it.

Practicebeingpatient · 26/10/2021 09:12

It sounds like a great place for your DS and I would definitely take him there one day.

However, taking your son to what is intended to be an adult catch up is an awful idea. As other people have said it will completely alter the dynamics of the evening.

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 26/10/2021 09:12

I love kids - I've got 3 of my own and work in a primary school. At social events with children like family parties I will often happily spend time chatting with them rather than grown ups.

I would still be really fed up in this situation OP sorry. I'd be looking forward to grown up chat and your DC would completely change the dynamic.

On other occasion, Buffet Island and similar are perfect for little ones. They can look at all the food and see what they like. Great for trying new things with no pressure and waste too!

SiobhanRoy · 26/10/2021 09:14

We have a Chinese buffet locally. It is dominated by seagull-not-chicken rumours and I wouldn’t take my kids anywhere near it 😂

OVO1410 · 26/10/2021 09:18

I organised our work Christmas meal a couple of years ago. We always do dinner without our partners. On a day that I wasn't in the office, one of my colleagues asked to bring his wife, baby and toddler and someone else said it was okay. When I came back into the office and found out, I spoke to my colleague on his own and explained I wouldn't be going. I said it wasn't personal against his family but I don't often get a night out without my own baby and toddler and I would prefer my one night out for Christmas to be adults only. My colleague was absolutely fine with me but one of the others (the one who had said it was okay) was horrible to me. Called me pathetic and awkward, even though I didn't ask them to change the meal, just said I wasn't going. A few other colleagues just sat by and listened to me being continuously bad mouthed and it massively changed how I thought about the people I worked with. So glad to see this thread and realise I wasn't being unreasonable as I was made out to be!

MrsToothyBitch · 26/10/2021 09:23

If you take him, enjoy what might be your last time with everyone else round that table OP. I certainly wouldn't include you again!

YABVU- it's clearly an adult night out and toddlers change the vibe and dominate the proceedings.

dottypencilcase · 26/10/2021 09:23

A definite no OP.

dottypencilcase · 26/10/2021 09:26

@TimeForTeaAndG

I want to know how your thought process went "dinner with ex colleagues, DP isn't working...oh I will take the baby and give him the night off."

😂😂😂

liveforsummer · 26/10/2021 09:26

It's fine to take him there as a family or with friends with dc etc but you can't take him along to a meet up with colleagues- not even if it was at McDonald's or a soft play restaurant