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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave a 7 year old at home?

175 replies

ooft · 25/10/2021 16:03

In reality, I am not going to, however he is happily reading his book, would be happy for ten minutes while I pick his brother up and both next door neighbours are in. It seems silly that I can't leave him because society says so when I know he would be fine and knows what to do in an emergency. He often stays in the car through choice while I go into a shop - to me that is more risky as we are out and about but he prefers that to being dragged into shops.
So, WIBU to leave him at home for ten minutes while both neighbours are in?

OP posts:
garlictwist · 25/10/2021 16:04

I would do this if it's 10 minutes. I think it's fine.

rubyslippers · 25/10/2021 16:06

Course you would be unreasonable
He’s 7
I started leaving my kids at senior school age and even then we had wobbles at times
Does he really know what to do in an emergency and even if so, why should he have to do that at his age frankly
Yes it’s aggravating having to at times schlep the kids out and about for a few mins but honestly the risks are too high at that age

CocksAndKnobbers · 25/10/2021 16:07

Are you expecting your neighbours to keep an ear/eye on him? What if you have an accident on the way home?

Hoppinggreen · 25/10/2021 16:07

You can’t leave him because it’s irresponsible not because “society says so”

nanbread · 25/10/2021 16:08

Would you really only be 10 minutes?

I personally wouldn't leave a child in the car at that age though.

Ribrabrob · 25/10/2021 16:10

So you don’t need to look after him but your neighbours do...?

HazelandChacha · 25/10/2021 16:11

He may be fine alone for 10 mins but what if you have an accident? How long will he be alone for when you don’t come home at all? What if an electrical fault starts a fire? What if someone knocks on the door and persuades him to open it? You don’t know he would be fine in an emergency at all because he hasn’t been in one.
7 is far to young to be home alone.

Original poster
ooft · 25/10/2021 16:12

Just interested to get opinions. Why is it actually irresponsible? It would be for less than ten minutes probably. Certainly not any more. My neighbours have my phone number and I have theirs. It just seems a shame to drag them out in the cold unnecessarily

OP posts:
SiobhanRoy · 25/10/2021 16:13

My daughter is 7 and generally sensible. I still wouldn’t leave her. She sometimes has moments of unpredictability. What if she fell off her bunk bed or choked on something, for example.

bloodywhitecat · 25/10/2021 16:14

He's 7. He, and you, may think he knows what to do in the event of an emergency but much older people with far more life experience react in ways they never thought they would when the shit hits the fan.

Mantlemoose · 25/10/2021 16:14

You've posted so you know YABU. 10 minutes in theory no issues however always expect the unexpected. Car break down, power trips, electricity surge, choking....

nimbuscloud · 25/10/2021 16:15

A 7 year old knowing what to do in an emergency - what does that mean??

Frannyhy · 25/10/2021 16:15

If you were my neighbour I’d report you to SS.

FASDE1517 · 25/10/2021 16:16

I'm with you here. I wouldn't but I can see why it's tempting.

Waspsarearseholes · 25/10/2021 16:16

The risks may be very small and you could do it a hundred times and nothing happen. Nobody sets out to have a car accident/get stuck in accident traffic/get knocked over/insert any other rare but potentially serious incident here, but these things do unfortunately happen. What if something did happen which meant you were delayed/someone knocked on the door/a fire broke out? Would not disturbing your child, because he'd probably be fine, really be worth it in the end?

Sofiegiraffe · 25/10/2021 16:17

I wouldn't leave my 7 year old home alone and I'm quite a relaxed parent. I only started leaving my DD for brief periods alone when she turned 11 ish. And even then it was brief just popping to a shop for 30 mins. She's now 15 and I obviously can leave her longer. But definitely not at 7.

Original poster
ooft · 25/10/2021 16:18

@Frannyhy lucky I have nice helpful neighbours then who would keep an eye on him and would notice anyone coming to the door. Anyway, as I said, I am not going to do this.

OP posts:
MissMaple82 · 25/10/2021 16:18

Wow! How irresponsible. You obviously know its wrong otherwise you wouldn't be posting this

CyclingIsNotOuting · 25/10/2021 16:18

I personally wouldn't leave a child in the car at that age though
Me neither!
During lockdown it would have done me a huge favour to be able to leave my eldest at home while I picked up my younger one, but at 7 she has the same level of common sense as a snail.

HPmagic · 25/10/2021 16:20

Look up the NSPCC guidance on this. Does not matter how long it's for 7 is too young. If anything happened to your child within any time frame of being left alone you will be charged with neglect.

ellie21 · 25/10/2021 16:20

I would not leave a 7 year old in the house alone, even for 10 minutes. Nor would I leave them in a car.
You already know the answer to this question.

Abraxan · 25/10/2021 16:23

[quote ooft]@Frannyhy lucky I have nice helpful neighbours then who would keep an eye on him and would notice anyone coming to the door. Anyway, as I said, I am not going to do this. [/quote]
If they are happy to keep an eye on your house for ten minutes, why not just get him to go round there for the ten minutes and sit in their living room?
Better for the neighbours than being expected to stand at the window checking there are no coming and goings at yours.

Original poster
ooft · 25/10/2021 16:24

I didn't expect anyone to come on and say that it's a great idea and that I should be leaving him for a whole day or anything, but I am surprised at the level of outrage at the suggestion. I've had loads of comments about how mature he is, so maybe my opinion is skewed, but if this is too young then what age do you start giving them a bit of responsibility? I walked to school at that age!

OP posts:
Blueberryflavour · 25/10/2021 16:27

Just cause your neighbours are in how is your son supposed to alert them? Run round to their house,what if he’s fallen and can’t? Phone them what if they are already in a call, FaceTiming whatever and won’t pick up? Shout and scream, how will the neighbours know that he’s not just messing about and you are in the house? Surely by the time you have contacted the neighbours to check they are not planning to go out in the next 10 mins, and asked them not to make or receive any calls til you are back just in case your son calls for help and to rush round if they hear your son shouting for help in the next 10 mins - it would be easier just to take him with you.

Grapewrath · 25/10/2021 16:29

It’s because he’s 7, not because of societal expectations and you’re hardly dragging him out in the cold in mid October. 7 year olds don’t have the capacity to make sensible decisions in an emergency. You could have a car accident or breakdown and be longer than you’d imagine or any other non planned events could happen.
If both neighbours are going to be aware you are out (assume you plan on telling them?!) it would be just as easy to have them babysit for 10 minutes surely?