To leave a 7 year old at home?

[ooft]

In reality, I am not going to, however he is happily reading his book, would be happy for ten minutes while I pick his brother up and both next door neighbours are in. It seems silly that I can't leave him because society says so when I know he would be fine and knows what to do in an emergency. He often stays in the car through choice while I go into a shop - to me that is more risky as we are out and about but he prefers that to being dragged into shops.
So, WIBU to leave him at home for ten minutes while both neighbours are in?

You have to make sure they know not to use the oven or other appliances, what to do in case of a house fire and how to get out of the house, not to answer the door to anyone, who to call in case of accident and you don't come home etc. That's a a lot of responsibility for a 7 year old and I just think it's too young.

A lot of responsibility to not use the oven for 10 minutes?

The house is going to burn down, burglars & murderers will be watching for me to leave, and (probably realistically by the sounds of PPs) SS will be called.

I think the worst thing that may happen is a nosy, malicious neighbour (or someone at school) who will dob you in just for the fun of it.

Mum left me whilst she went to collect my dad. I was about 8 and she was only gone 20mins. In that time a pipe burst in the roof and water started pouring through the light fitting. She came home to find me switching the light on and off to see if that would stop it - I had no idea about electricity and water not being a good pairing! Thankfully nothing worse happened, but it does show how quickly something can go wrong.

@Frannyhy

If you were my neighbour I’d report you to SS.

Because OP has mused why it's not a good idea?

They'd be all over that!!

Not a chance.

I wouldn’t at that age because you can’t control extenuating factors once you are outside. What if a drink driver hits your car and you are unconscious and can’t tell anyone you have a young child alone at home? An older child would think to contact someone for help after a while, a 7 year old might panic?

I always think the McCanns thought it was safe to leave the kids whilst they were near by eating, they were taking turns checking the children every 20minutes and the rest is history.
If something happened you just couldn’t forgive yourself.

At 7 years old (very late 60s)I was crossing two main roads and catching a bus into town to meet my mum after she finished work, or else waiting at home after school for her to come about an hour later. I know perceptions of safety have changed, but leaving a sensible 7-year-old for 10 minutes is fine.

I think 7 is a bit on the young side by today's standards but I don't think it's a terrible proposition. At some point between 7-9 they have to start to learn to cope a bit...

Simple: Don't take shortcuts for your own convenience at the expense of your child's safety.

I have a 7 year old and while I have never left her alone in the house, I do think she'd be OK if I left her. She knows what to do in a fire, she knows how to ring me if she needs me. If I was only going to be 10 minutes and walking somewhere I would be OK with it. It would depend how she was though - Sitting down and reading yes, grumpy no.
I wouldn't do the same with my son because he's way too over exuberant and I'd worry he'd hurt himself. It's a moot point though as someone is always in the house nowadays.

I wouldn’t leave my very sensible seven year old, you just don’t know what will happen, what if you crashed on the way or something, it’s not worth it.

I've actually had social services called
Twice for me.

From a complaint by the police

1. In covid times I left

My children in the car and went to get a pizza car was 1 min walk from pizza shop I could see it my kids were 5,12,13 police came and referred me to SS

1. Covid times so didn't want to risk taking kids out.

Left Same kids home and went to corner shop police knocked on the door due to next door neighbour calling them police referred me to SS

I'm a fucking teacher and responsible my teenage kids are so so mature.
Guard tjere little sister with there life.

Another lady I know she popped to shops left her 11 year old at home it was night time police stopped her for having a light out and she said I have to go my daughters at home it was late at night and guess what they referred to SS

Why why chance it.

Sorry about the shitty typing I haven't worked out my new keyboard as yet

@Helpimfalling

I've actually had social services called Twice for me.

From a complaint by the police

1. In covid times I left

My children in the car and went to get a pizza car was 1 min walk from pizza shop I could see it my kids were 5,12,13 police came and referred me to SS

1. Covid times so didn't want to risk taking kids out.

Left Same kids home and went to corner shop police knocked on the door due to next door neighbour calling them police referred me to SS

I'm a fucking teacher and responsible my teenage kids are so so mature.
Guard tjere little sister with there life.

Another lady I know she popped to shops left her 11 year old at home it was night time police stopped her for having a light out and she said I have to go my daughters at home it was late at night and guess what they referred to SS

Why why chance it.

Hopefully you mean why chance leaving the children alone where they could get into difficulties. But I don’t think you do mean that.

@Cissyandflora of course!!

My daughter was with her teens brothers very different to the OP

I couldn't even entertain leaving a 7 year old alone thank you.

Maybe ten mins at 11 but it's very different as mine have each other

A seven year old alone anything could happen but that wasn't a deterrent for OP so I came from another angle

@Helpimfalling but I didn't need any deterrents as I wasn't going to do it. I just feel like I should be able to but there are too many what ifs

I think 10 minutes at 7 if you are going somewhere on foot is fine. I did when mine was that age and he walked to school alone from age 7 too. He is 8 we are not in the UK and it is totally normal here

Do whatever you want, it's not like anyone will know is it? I wouldn't leave a 7 year old alone at home, especially when i can just pop them in the car and bring them with me, the risks don't outweigh the benefits, so why bother?

@ooft

In reality, I am not going to, however he is happily reading his book, would be happy for ten minutes while I pick his brother up and both next door neighbours are in. It seems silly that I can't leave him because society says so when I know he would be fine and knows what to do in an emergency. He often stays in the car through choice while I go into a shop - to me that is more risky as we are out and about but he prefers that to being dragged into shops. So, WIBU to leave him at home for ten minutes while both neighbours are in?

no way on earth! anything can happen with either you or the kid/house. same as leaving in the car, no chance of that either! one day you will return to find the police waiting for you by your car

I left mine for 10-15 mins at that time. Felt perfectly safe. Depends on the child and also if they are happy being left. I wouldn’t mine in the car though. Different perceptions of risk…

I am also surprised by the level of outrage. I probably wouldn't leave a child at 7 but calling social services is way over the top. I used to play out on the streets with the neighbour hood kids at that age, walk down the road to call for my friend. I don't think ten minutes alone at home requires much more responsibility than this.
Can't believe some people are still being so cautious even with secondary school aged kids. By year 6 our school encourages kids to walk in by themselves and certainly most get themselves to secondary school. Surely this demonstrates that they must also be ready to spend some time in the house alone

The police have very strict rules on referring to social- any incident or even non incident they are flagged then it’s part of their processes - whether they think it’s necessary or not, really needed to protect the kids or not. Different social services will also possibly take different actions depending on their threshold, and their resources, but should follow referrals up with at least a call before deciding on no other action.
I’m conflicted on busy body neighbours as the system gets overwhelmed but equally the information could help build a picture.

@takenforgrantednana no I won't. I never leave them long enough to warrant that.

@DancingQueen85 Agreed. We live in a street where all the kids go out and play together, and have done from a young age. All the adults keep an eye on the kids and it's a great experience for them all. It really is a lovely community feel and feels very safe so I know someone would look out for DS if there happened to be a terrible emergency, and in the circumstances I describe I'd of course have said to my neighbour that he was along for ten minutes.
I'm enjoying this debate and seeing everyone's varied opinions. Just a reminder it's all hypothetical!