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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave a 7 year old at home?

175 replies

ooft · 25/10/2021 16:03

In reality, I am not going to, however he is happily reading his book, would be happy for ten minutes while I pick his brother up and both next door neighbours are in. It seems silly that I can't leave him because society says so when I know he would be fine and knows what to do in an emergency. He often stays in the car through choice while I go into a shop - to me that is more risky as we are out and about but he prefers that to being dragged into shops.
So, WIBU to leave him at home for ten minutes while both neighbours are in?

OP posts:
RobinRedbreasts · 25/10/2021 20:49

@ooft

I didn't expect anyone to come on and say that it's a great idea and that I should be leaving him for a whole day or anything, but I am surprised at the level of outrage at the suggestion. I've had loads of comments about how mature he is, so maybe my opinion is skewed, but if this is too young then what age do you start giving them a bit of responsibility? I walked to school at that age!
I walked to school too. But of course that would be tantamount to child abuse these days. Much better to transport them in the diesel belching armoured car straight to the school gates...
takenforgrantednana · 25/10/2021 20:50

[quote ooft]@takenforgrantednana no I won't. I never leave them long enough to warrant that. [/quote]
the point was to never leave them at all! ok they may be grumpy about being dragged into the shops etc, but thats just tough they are still going in the shop

Pinkfluffyunicornsandrainbows · 25/10/2021 20:51

I have six children and i wouldn't leave any of them home alone (fit any period of time) until 11. Its very rarones home alone now as there's always

sbhydrogen · 25/10/2021 20:58

I remember being left for 10ish minutes when I was five whilst my mum went to buy some milk. I just stared out of the bedroom window until she got back. At seven I was allowed to walk down the high street with my brother, who was 8.

I think if you have a trustworthy kid ("stay in your room!") then I'd be fine with leaving them for a few mins. Even more so if they knew how to call you.

sbhydrogen · 25/10/2021 20:58

You could always turn off all the electrics 🤷‍♀️

Pinkfluffyunicornsandrainbows · 25/10/2021 21:18

I meant to say it's very rare one of my children are home alone now as there

Pinkfluffyunicornsandrainbows · 25/10/2021 21:19

There is usually always a few of us at home. They aren't all little anymore though, four are teenagers.

Cissyandflora · 25/10/2021 21:43

[quote Helpimfalling]@Cissyandflora of course!!

My daughter was with her teens brothers very different to the OP

I couldn't even entertain leaving a 7 year old alone thank you.

Maybe ten mins at 11 but it's very different as mine have each other

A seven year old alone anything could happen but that wasn't a deterrent for OP so I came from another angle [/quote]
Ah ok. I hadn’t understood you properly. Sorry.

RestingStitchFace · 25/10/2021 22:21

It is totally unreasonable!

What if they had an accident? What if you got delayed for any reason?

7 is no age to be leaving your kid in the house unsupervised....

PaddleBoardingMomma · 25/10/2021 22:26

I know of someone that leaves their 5 year old and 3 year old alone in a house out in the country from 6am - 7:30am whilst they drive their partner to work in the nearest town... apparently she says she doesn't want to wake them and the oldest knows if he wakes up and she's not there to sit and wait.

I say know... it's knew... I wanted nothing to do with her after that. I mentioned it to a friend who is a social worker and she said it's a very grey area, but if something were to happen to the children then it would be a very clear case of negligence and she would be prosecuted, but there is little to be done BEFORE something awful happens...

Horrible, really.

user1496146479 · 25/10/2021 22:57

@nanbread

Would you really only be 10 minutes?

I personally wouldn't leave a child in the car at that age though.

Hmm
thisyearsuckssofar · 25/10/2021 23:27

I popped to the shop one evening. In under 10 minutes my neighbour was on the phone telling me my house was in fire. I ran home (2 mins) the fire engines were already there. Smoke billowing out from my son's bedroom window. Thankfully my dh was home and got them both out. I'll never forget how quickly it all happened. When my neighbour called me i didn't believe her because I was just there a few minutes before. Long story short, given my experience I'd not leave a younger child alone. My 12 year old is well versed in fire drills and opening our big old doors for when he is home alone for short periods

nanbread · 25/10/2021 23:54

@user1496146479 what's the confused face for?

ShepherdMoons · 25/10/2021 23:57

I was left alone with my dsis at the age of 7, probably for 20-25 minutes at a time. My dm would go to the shop across the road, didn't lock the door. We came to no harm....but as a parent now I'd be worried that something could happen to me. Someone could try to break in, a fire... its not worth the worry or risk.

NCBlossom · 26/10/2021 00:03

I don’t get your attitude. It’s not ‘society’ as if there is a big ogre that judges you, it’s being a good parent. Which is erring on the side of responsible usually, even if, as you say, aged 7 it is starting to transition to an age where it would be totally fine to leave him.

Put out another way, what is the problem with him going with you if it only takes 10 minutes? It’s not that cold!

I walked to school at age 5 on my own and had to escape from a paedophile who worked out I was on my own and tried to groom me… so I don’t think it’s that great saying how fantastic it was in the past.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 26/10/2021 00:37

I definitely wouldn't leave them alone/unsupervised, unless there was an emergency and I had no choice.

The last 4- min trip I did on the whim turned into 57 mins of hell of being stuck in a traffic jam due to that motorway protesting a few weeks ago. It was utter chaos and mayhem and frankly a bit scary.
I then had to pick a different route to go home which was quicker but still took too long.
instead of being done within half an hour I was out for over 3 hours (because the initial delay caused other problems that needed extra time to sort).

Yes, these events are rare but I couldn't risk something like that happening while my 7yo is home alone.
Even if I could guarantee I'd be back on time and nothing happened I'd still worry (I suffer from anxiety) so for my peace of mind it's just not worth it.

If you are happy to do it I'm not judging you.
For me it's a no.

Shasha17 · 26/10/2021 00:40

I wouldn't dream of leaving a 7 year old alone 😳

Bonsaibreaker · 26/10/2021 00:46

instead of being done within half an hour I was out for over 3 hours (because the initial delay caused other problems that needed extra time to sort).

So not the 4 minute trip you stated in your first sentence then?

I think 10 minutes is fine if you know your child and the journey is a 10 minute there and back walk away.
The walk away is important as in a car you can travel miles in 10 minutes.

I take longer than that to shower and my DC managed not to burn the house down.
Actually there are many occasions where for 1 minutes or more they are in a different room/garden and I am not constantly watching.

Do people on MN constantly watch their 7 yo?

amsadandconfused · 26/10/2021 00:47

Yes I definitely left my 7 year old at home watching the TV with strict instructions not to eat or answer the door whilst I took dog to vet ! She was absolutely fine ..infact she had made up the dogs dinner whilst I was out 😊

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 26/10/2021 00:47

Besides it doesn't matter how much you trust your kid or how sure you are that they will be responsible.
People make mistakes or forget stuff my 20 yo regularly forgets to switch the oven off - otherwise very reliable) and a young child is simply not mature enough to deal with an emergency that could render an adult unable to act.
and what if he slips and knocks himself out or chokes and can't ask for help?
Is it worth risking anything for the sake of 10 mins?

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 26/10/2021 00:52

@Bonsaibreaker

ummm yes, 4 minute trip to my destination turned into 57 mins.

overall 30 mins being out turned into over 3 hours.
I'm simply repeating myself now because I don't know how I could've made that any clearer.

Bonsaibreaker · 26/10/2021 00:55

Zing

No sorry still confused?

Is this 2 trips?

One 4 minute trip that took 57 minutes and a different trip which should have been 30 minutes but took 3 hours.
Or the 4 minute trip was really a 30 minute trip and it took 3 hours?

MummyInTheNecropolis · 26/10/2021 00:57

I wouldn’t do it myself, but wouldn’t be outraged if someone I knew did it.

I don’t understand the people asking what if you had an accident while you were out - if I were involved in an accident I’d much rather my child was safe at home than in the accident with me! They might be worried but at least they wouldn’t be seriously injured!

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 26/10/2021 00:58

Also don't be ridiculous, nobody watches their 7yo constantly. It'd be beyond mind-numbingly boring🤣

whatsmyusername · 26/10/2021 01:00

I have a 7yo DD and a very sensible one at that. The thought of leaving her alone just fills me with dread. What if something (although extreemly unlikely) were to happen, even if it was something minor none life threatening, just something where a responsible person needed to be there, I'd never forgive myself. I wouldn't even concider it, I wouldn't leave her in the car either to go to the shops, 7 is far too young to be left alone anywhere!

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