Hen party and mum not invited

[rainonsunday]

Family member is getting married and they had a hen party, but nothing was arranged with the mum. No afternoon tea or anything non drinking etc.

Is this usual?

[Hobnobsandbroomstick]

Oh, and on one of the ones that involved the older members of the family, the bride's mother in law got really drunk on prosecco at the afternoon tea, fell out with the bride's mother about something, and stormed off. Poor bride was in tears.

[PassTheDutchyUpYrLeftBackside]

@Squirrelblanket

I've never been to a hen party that had the brides mum in attendance.

I misread this as 'had the bride's mum in an ambulance' 😂😂😂

[USaYwHatNow]

My mum came to mine. Got married at 27 and she was 54. The only bit she didn't come to was the bit where we went off to have a bit of a dance/bar hopping. I would've been really upset if my bridesmaids had excluded her but then we are really close. I'll also never forget how stunning my mum looked that night!

[crosstalk]

I think the key question was asked above - how many dads are invited on stag dos?

[Vix1977]

I've only been to hen parties where the mum and aunties are also invited.
They joined in the activities but left the night earlier than the rest of us.

[notacooldad]

I think the key question was asked above - how many dads are invited on stag dos?
I know of loads of dads that have been on stag dos. Its normally an ice hockey weekend in Helsinki or Belfast .

[Shimy]

@SarahBellam

I didn’t invite my mum. That would have been a bit weird. The idea behind stag and hen doos was originally to have a last night of freedom/debauchery before settling down. That’s not something you do with your mum. Parents are usually involved in other ways.

Exactly! I don’t understand this new trend of mums/mil being invited to hen dos at all, it’s about as weird as a father/fil attending the son’s bachelors eve. I’ve never met a dad wanting to go to a bachelors eve, why on earth are mums going. How does the bride and her friends relax?

[Soontobe60]

My dds both had 2 hen parties. Weekend away with their friends (and each other), and afternoon tea/cocktails with dm / mil / aunts etc.

[thevassal]

@Branleuse

some people invite their mum. Most people dont

ah the expert has arrived. How many brides did you consult in your exhaustive research, can I ask?
FFS I hate it when people miss off 'in my (limited) experience' to their post. It's usually the same people who pop up on snow/flood/petrol/food shortages thread and say 'What are you talking about it's sunny/there's no queues/full shelves?' and seem basically incapable of realising that other people have different life experiences to them.

[Dishwashersaurous]

I've been to, and know of, dozens of hen do. No mothers involved.

The concept of a hen do is last night of freedom. Why would you have your mother there!

[LittleGwyneth]

Totally normal. I adore my mother, but she would have been mortified to have to go on my hen weekend.

[saraclara]

My DD had a hen afternoon, and I and her MIL were invited, as was her GMIL! But I'd not have minded at all if it had just been her friends. A hen can be whatever you want it to be.

[foodanfagsjokiing]

I genuinely didn't know it was a thing to invite Mum on hen night !Absolutely adored my Mum but it never occurred to me to ask her .!

[tradition]

I always thought the hen and stag do's were for both sides of the family to come together and celebrate (single sex). The mum of bride and groom can meet each other more informally than at the wedding ceremony.

For my future daughter in law she is having a boozy trip abroad with friends and the 'mums' have organised a uK based spa day (still boozy) including aunts and grandparents !

[Aroundtheworldin80moves]

I'm trying to imagine my mums and mils faces if they had been invited to come paintballing, and dressing up to go to all the cheesy clubs in Newcastle before staying g the night in a youth hostel with us.

[ShinyHappyPoster]

@tradition

I always thought the hen and stag do's were for both sides of the family to come together and celebrate (single sex). The mum of bride and groom can meet each other more informally than at the wedding ceremony.

For my future daughter in law she is having a boozy trip abroad with friends and the 'mums' have organised a uK based spa day (still boozy) including aunts and grandparents !

Yes, that's what it's like here too. The hen do is so the women of both families can meet before the wedding and the stag do is for the men of both families to meet before the wedding.
In the olden days (ie 1970s/1980s) there would sometimes be a show of presents for the older female family members from both families to attend too but that seems to have fallen out of favour.

[MrsToothyBitch]

Round here it's mostly just friends, I think. Or mums earlier on in the day for the more civilised parts of the party. It depends on relationships, party dynamics and fear people just want to do. If you wouldn't usually include your mum on girls night, I suppose you wouldn't start now?

I wouldn't want my mum anywhere near ANYTHING planned for me. I love my mum but we've had a more difficult relationship lately- more clashes. She also HATES anything wedding related and is negative/shuts down any talk of weddings and would be rude and take swipes/make barbed remarks and put everyone on edge. My friends have mopped up a few tears and winced at a few of her remarks. I also can't imagine anything to do with a broomstick being part of a hen do... so there would be no activities aimed at her and no reason for her to attend.