Hen party and mum not invited

[rainonsunday]

Family member is getting married and they had a hen party, but nothing was arranged with the mum. No afternoon tea or anything non drinking etc.

Is this usual?

[ShinyHappyPoster]

I wonder if it's a regional difference. Every hen do I have been to has included mums, aunts, sisters, even grannies. It's the opposite of a social media trend. Families at hen dos was the traditional approach and that included female relatives from the groom's side too.

[AuntieMarys]

I hate hen dos and certainly wouldn't go on one.

[crumpet]

Didn’t even cross my mind to invite my mum! I would have been astonished if anyone had suggested it

[WeAllHaveWings]

Ive been to hens with and without the mum, really depends on the bride-to-be and the type of ben she wants. Neither is right or wrong.

Also having a separate do with mums, aunts etc is also optional.

It is one wedding how many (expensive for everyone) side events does there need to be????

[Branleuse]

some people invite their mum. Most people dont

[ASDFamily]

I've been married twice, once in 1987 and again in 2004, I didn't have a hen do either time. My niece is getting married soon and there has been a bit of hen do talk (pub crawl, boozy).........really hoping she doesn't invite me, I hate hen do's.........I wouldn't mind a quiet meal or afternoon tea but I'm not a drinker and a pub crawl is my idea of hell!!!!

[cloudyrain]

Only hen dos I've been on when mum was invited was
Bride 1 - closet narcissist, who needed many adult bridesmaids and flower girls/page boys. Insisted both future MIL and DM attended then made the event completely inappropriate and got completely shit faced. I learnt a lot that weekend ad it is safe to say that the friendship ended quite quickly.
Bride 2 - lovely girl who had a mad hen weekend with her friends and then a meal with all her female relatives and bridesmaids.

I am close to me mum but wouldn't have wanted her on my hen do.
I feel the same about stags that invite their dads

[LindaEllen]

I love my mum but don't want her watching me sipping cocktails through plastic penis straws.

[Bigeggsinapackoften]

It wouldn’t occur to me to go on my daughters hen do. Surely that’s for friends only?

When that time comes am I suppose to organise a day event? I didn’t know that I was planning to just leave them to it

[Doomscrolling]

@rainonsunday

Interesting responses.

I suppose I should have also asked the question “did you have a day event with aunties/mum/mil etc”. That was what I was hinting at.

Erm, that's what the wedding is!

Hen/Stag night is a "last' night out with your pals, usually with alcohol.

Why in god's name would you need an additional day event with relatives to celebrate getting married other than inviting them to the actual wedding? You're not saying final goodbyes before your execution, you're getting married. They will still see you.

[Myusernameisnotmyusernameno]

My mum didn't come to my hen do but she is 80. I'm taking her for an afternoon tea anyway for her belated birthday.

[Foxyloxy1plus1]

I went to my daughter’s and paid for it, but didn’t go to the evening part.

[WhenISnappedAndFarted]

Why would you have a day event with the Mum/Auntie's/MIL etc?

[TomAllenWife]

I wouldn't have my mother at my hen if she was the last woman on earth

[EdenFlower]

I didn't invite my mum to my hen do- she would have hated it!

[Timeforwinterclothes]

Three hen parties for my DDs. I've been to all of them. Two risqué ones and one cocktails and dinner. Really enjoyed them and nobody thought it was odd.

[WombatChocolate]

There’s no right or wrong.
Depends on the nature of the event arranged and the relationships between people.

Not asking mothers is not an indication of any less love for them.

[notacooldad]

All my friends have been on the DD or DDiL hen do.
I'm the last one to have children who aren't married.

Even at work staff have been on the hen do.

[DownPuddleLane]

Pretty sure my DH's aunt was annoyed not to be invited to my hen party. But I didn't want my mum, MIL, GMIL etc there as it was a time for me to let loose and party with my friends! I had my SIL but she's the same age as me. I didn't want to have to censor myself, just wanted a good rowdy time.

[VickyEadieofThigh]

@tttigress

To be honest, isn't even the concept of a hen party relatively new?

OP, I think you are being driven by what Social Media / Media is telling you is normal.

63 year old here. They were beginning to happen when I was in my late 20s but were extremely low-key, usually just a pub crawl followed by a meal and limited to BTB and her friends. No suggestion ever of relatives such as mums attending. Most women didn't have them, however and few men that I knew had stag nights (again, always just a night, pub crawl, etc).

[OnlyToWin]

Didn’t invite my mum or mil to mine. No one else I knew at that time did either. No bad relationships - just what everyone did. Didn’t cross my mind to invite them and neither expected to be.

[ClothCatManiac]

I’ve never seen the mum at a hen party that I’ve been on either, but now I think about it I don’t see why not.

[itssquidstella]

I love my mum and we get on really well, but she didn't come on my hen do.

[Cottagepieandpeas]

I wasn’t invited to my daughter’s. If I’d ever had one, I wouldn’t have invited my mum.

[Saoirse82]

I'm really close to my mum and and aunties but they didn't come on my hen or my sisters. A big booze up is my mums idea of hell.