Should I go back to my maiden name or keep my married name?

[lipglossandblusher]

I’ve decided to come on Munster for some advice so here it goes.

I’m 36 and going through a divorce at the moment, I’ve been married to DH for 5 years, I was 31 when I married him. Once my divorce is finalised should I go back to my maiden name or keep my married name? Neither me or DH have any children.

Go back to your maiden name.

Your birth name!

Go back to your maiden name. No reason not to.

Munster may be a nice new name for this site.

Why would you even consider keeping his name??

Why on earth would you keep his name in those circumstances?! Change it and make a fresh start!

It’s your birth name. ‘Maiden name’ is deeply sexist, suggesting it’s like a ‘starter home’. But you should go back to your original name. If you get married again, don’t change it.

Up to you.

What would you prefer?

A friend of mine kept her married name because she hated her maiden name. With good reason, it's a name that has another less than pleasant meaning.

As you have no kids go back to maiden name.

I’m sorry for calling Mumsnet ‘Munster’ that was autocorrect. I really do need to check properly before I click post 😂

Or take a new name. Its easy to do. Another mumsnetter took a family namefrom her tree that had died out. Just because she could. I would definitely do the same if i ever divorced, even with having a DD.

Birth name not maiden

If it's such a difficult question, there must be a pretty compelling reason to consider keeping your married name?

I'm divorced, and next month I'm having a brand new name, another one from ancestors.

Go back to your birth name or give yourself a new one and never change it again.

Keep the one you like best.... or choose an entirely different one.
I kept my married name as that is what everybody knew me as and I like it and I didnt need/want the hassle of changing all my documents etc...
No right or wrong...

You should do exactly what you want with your name.

@VillKrill

Why on earth would you keep his name in those circumstances?! Change it and make a fresh start!

Oh yes. Because women never own their names, do they? Just borrow them from men.

2021, not 1930s.

@Bonbon21

Keep the one you like best.... or choose an entirely different one. I kept my married name as that is what everybody knew me as and I like it and I didnt need/want the hassle of changing all my documents etc... No right or wrong...

Like Sarah Millican. I wonder sometimes what she and her XH feel about her being successful with his name. It was an amicable split though so maybe neither of them is bothered.

@lipglossandblusher

I’m sorry for calling Mumsnet ‘Munster’ that was autocorrect. I really do need to check properly before I click post 😂

It’s a very fitting autocorrect I have to say! Especially AIBU.

I will be changing mine officially when DS is 18. Has made it easier to travel with the same name (arriving in America I was asked to prove his dad was OK with us being there without him)

Have whatever name feels most you. After only 5 years, I’m guessing that will be your original name. I divorced age 49 after 29 years. I kept my married name because I’d had it longer than the other, it was my professional name and it felt like my name. I remarried 7 years later (6 years ago) and kept my name the same because it felt like mine for the reasons outlined and I feel now that a woman changing her name to her husband is archaic.

Oh yes. Because women never own their names, do they?
When my sister married (late 60's) she and her husband chose a name they both liked rather than use either birth surname.
She only stayed married a couple of years, but still uses her chosen surname.

When no kids are involved it seems a bit sad to keep your married name. I'd think the person had a lack of identity, struggling to move on & possibly controlling if they kept their married name in those circumstances.

@smoko

When no kids are involved it seems a bit sad to keep your married name. I'd think the person had a lack of identity, struggling to move on & possibly controlling if they kept their married name in those circumstances.

Wow, that's a huge leap to make.

I would be more likely to assume they couldn't be bothered to go through all the hassle of changing their name.

Sorry to hijack but I’m in a similar position but I have a son. Is it really that difficult if your surname is different to your child’s?