Should I go back to my maiden name or keep my married name?

[lipglossandblusher]

I’ve decided to come on Munster for some advice so here it goes.

I’m 36 and going through a divorce at the moment, I’ve been married to DH for 5 years, I was 31 when I married him. Once my divorce is finalised should I go back to my maiden name or keep my married name? Neither me or DH have any children.

@ElevenBells

They are both your names. You didn’t “take” your husband’s name (such an old fashioned term) you changed it so your names would match. As soon ad you changed it that name was as much yours as it is his. So pick whoever one your prefer. Or choose a completely new one 😊

As if that makes it any better! Still an outdated, hideously sexist decision to make.

I wish I'd never changed my name on marriage so I'd go back to my own name. My kids wouldn't be less my kids if we have different surnames.

@NearLifeExperience

Whichever you prefer. Once you’ve CHOSEN to adopt a name and use it then it’s YOUR name. All this “it’s his name” business annoys me.

This. I know I miss my birth name but my married name doesn't feel any less mine.

Seriously?? Do you honestly expect us to believe that having a different surname to your child is going to make travel more difficult? With the mix of blended families, grandparent holidays, etc as if customs and airport staff would question you, how ridiculous!!

We took our nephew on holiday and he was independently challenged and questioned about who we were (he was a young teen at the time)

It happens.

My then 3 year old was asked “who’s this?”(pointing at me) at passport control. “Mummy,” she replied and we were on our way. Definitely not worth me changing my name to avoid.

@QuitMoaning I hope you changed your name to your nephew’s as soon as you returned to avoid this happening again? 🤷🏻‍♀️

[quote Newwifeatnumber10]@QuitMoaning I hope you changed your name to your nephew’s as soon as you returned to avoid this happening again? 🤷🏻‍♀️[/quote]
Of course not. But you know that. The post above mine implied airport staff don’t ever question you with a different surname and I was stating that I had experience where they have questioned someone. .

(At the time I thought it was ridiculous as we were entering the U.K. and he has a British passport).

🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

@smoko

When no kids are involved it seems a bit sad to keep your married name. I'd think the person had a lack of identity, struggling to move on & possibly controlling if they kept their married name in those circumstances.

Or they just had an awful "maiden" name. I would probably take my mum's maiden name if I got divorced, I definitely wouldn't go back to my own name though. Nobody could spell it. Mind you, nobody can spell my current surname either.

I don't understand how some can find it so easy to feel no emotional attachment to their birth family (or their birth surname) at all

Because it was horrible and nobody could spell it.

I have cut off all contact with my parents. Of course I don't want their name. Also it keeps them distant as they're not sure of my name or where I live. They're never going to randomly turn up.