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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed DH is going on a stag weekend to Amsterdam?

926 replies

JinglyJangly · 10/12/2007 18:57

DH is going on a stag weekend after Christmas to Amsterdam and too be honest, I am not too happy about it. I have heard what really goes on and why men go there, i.e. sex shops, brothels, live sex shows etc.

The blokes he is going with are a bunch of knobs. I have heard the majority of them frequent these types of places (only from what DH has said).

DH went on a stag weekend to Edinburgh a few years back and the guy who's stag party it was, was well up for visiting a brothel and guess what? he is going on the stag weekend to Amsterdam .

AIBU to be annoyed about him going? I am feeling a bit down in the dumps today and keep thinking all sorts about what they will get up too.

Whatever happened to guys going for a few beers at the local? It seems the norm for stag weekends to be held abroad nowadays. WHY is that?

OP posts:
StarofBethleCam · 13/12/2007 00:17

Must go now motherfunk dd is ill this week and will not be going to school tomorrow. Speak later

lojomamma · 13/12/2007 00:43

My DH would also be the person who does exactly as he wants, he is also a poor drinker who is able to drink large amounts of alcohol on the very rare times he goes out, but is pissed on four pints.
DH and his work mates are going on their Christmas do in a couple of weeks, and I have been worrying about this since September, to the point where I purposely did not go on my own Christmas do, in the hope he will follow my example.
I hadn't thought about the fact that I am being controlling, before I read these posts, but this thread has given me food for thought. I am being his mother, I am not trusting him to behave like the rational 43 yr old man that he normally is, I had worried he might cop of with another woman, where in reality who would want a smelly drunk. I spent the first quarter of this thread thinking thank god all his friends are married, (then oh shit, his work mates aren't) so he won't go to Amsterdam or anywhere like that and then the last three quarters thinking good god girl get a grip.

In reality our marriage has been on shaky ground for the last 15 years, but, I can't tell him what to do, he has to learn from his own mistakes, h and if that fails I could always hit him with a saucepan.

Original poster
JinglyJangly · 13/12/2007 08:34

lojo - where is the Christmas do? If its local then why worry but Amsterdam is a different story.

OP posts:
SSStollenzeit · 13/12/2007 08:49

can you still make a decent sauce in a dented pan though?

I think just let 'em go with your blessing and feed them something first that will ensure they get diarrhoea

Original poster
JinglyJangly · 13/12/2007 08:53

What an excellent idea .

OP posts:
madamez · 13/12/2007 10:00

Well I wiuld happily discuss fetishism, group sex, swinging and sex work with my DS should he want to know about them and should it be an appropriate conversation - depending on the his age and how the subject arose. (OK he is 3 at present so I don't think he needs to have SM101 read to him just yet).

Oh and (sorry, harking back a bit) DeathbySnooSnoo - is it your contention that everyone is really naturally monogamous (wrong, as the breifest glance at the Relationships section would show) or that no one is? Bearing in mind that no studies of human sexual behaviour actually prove anything 100%, general observation would show that some people are more bothered about monogamy than others, and that this is a fundamental part of these individuals' being.

Original poster
JinglyJangly · 13/12/2007 10:10

This post has gone from not wanting DH to go to Amsterdam, to prostitution, monogomy, to would you discuss sex with your kids , and with that MotherFunk discussing on here that she has had group sex with a woman . Bizarre, What next eh?

OP posts:
slim22 · 13/12/2007 10:44

Madamez, yeah but no but where is the SCIENTIFIC proof

StarofBethleCam · 13/12/2007 11:07

Well dd has gone to school today as she says she's better, she still looks very pale though. She breaks up for Christmas hols at lunchtime tomorrow anyway.

MellowChristmasEveryone · 13/12/2007 11:10

So have we decided if the op is being unreasonably annoyed about her dh going to Amsterdam?

SSStollenzeit · 13/12/2007 11:14

Is this the right thread Starofbeth?

StarofBethleCam · 13/12/2007 11:30

Why not, surely we've done the op to death

PaulaYatesbiggestfan · 13/12/2007 11:32

sorry jingly not read the whole thread but would not let my dp go!

EricScrooge · 13/12/2007 11:34

I think the general consensus is that yes - she is being very unreasonable.

From a blokes viewpoint - having an untrusting, controlling and uptight wife at home is more likely to drive a wedge in a relationship than the occasional trip away with the the guys.

StarofBethleCam · 13/12/2007 11:34

When do other people's children break up for the Christmas hols?

PaulaYatesbiggestfan · 13/12/2007 11:35

eric

what if the wife is a whore in the bedroom but does not want to share her man?

StarofBethleCam · 13/12/2007 11:35
EricScrooge · 13/12/2007 11:38

Who said anything about sharing?

Can a guy not go away for a weekend without it being assumed that he will be unfaithful?

It's just silly.

I told my DW about this thread last night and she laughed out loud at it and said 'That's right honey - whenever you are away i am curled up on the sofa worrying that you are with another woman - AS IF!'

What has happened to trust?

StarofBethleCam · 13/12/2007 11:41

What has happened to dignity

PaulaYatesbiggestfan · 13/12/2007 11:41

oh look! take me to a place where everyone is sexed up and shagging and i dont know how long i would last after 3 spliffs and a ppint of grolsh...

we are all human and that is what would worry me

CoteDAzur · 13/12/2007 11:42

JJ - Yes, there are male prostitutes in Amsterdam. Not in the Red Light District windows, or the upscale brothels, but your friend can find one from an escort agency. There are quite a few. They are in the yellow pages and the concierge at the hotel she stays would be happy to recommend one to her.

StarofBethleCam · 13/12/2007 11:44

Its bloody cold in Amsterdam in the winter, one year I wnet for Christmas and New Year I could hardly stay outside for more than half an hour. The canals froze

PaulaYatesbiggestfan · 13/12/2007 11:45

all the more reason to leap into bed!

EricScrooge · 13/12/2007 11:46

Me and the DW spent two weeks there and had a great time.

She would be dead jealous and want to come with me if i went again.

Not to keep an eye on me - just to join in the fun.

It's just a vibrant city full of bars and places to go out.

It's not all sex on every corner.

PaulaYatesbiggestfan · 13/12/2007 11:46

yes eric sounds fab..
very different when with a bunch of sex starved drink addled men

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