Right, just back in from work and quite a barrage from posters.
My friend has not had a drink for six years , this being from when Goddaughter and elder sister came back to live with her.
When I said 'surrogate' mother It meant during the time when Goddaughter would be occupied studying and/or at school. Does a creche or nanny act as a surrogate mother, when a parent places their baby/young child in the care of either ? So why do you interpret this to mean that her mothers surrogacy, to her daughters child, is only to eliminate a inconvenience for my perceived academic crusade.
Thus, a more caring and naturally inclined maternal mother would be very difficult to find than my friend is and any baby placed in her care is in wonderful hands.
It is extremely important for Autistic people to have plans with end dates to achieve specific things. No matter how big or small if these time scales are delayed/abandoned depression, loss of focus and disenchantment with every part of their life will inevitably follow. Thus, Goddaughter will change her own plan and targets. At the moment her own target is to be in school full time by September 2022.
I cannot, see what is wrong with letting her live in a granny flat in the back garden which allows her to be as independent as she wishes, or be part of an extended family. The two bedrooms in the flat if she wishes enables her to have her mother stay with her. This is Goddaughters home meaning in that circumstance, the dynamic relationship and indentured agency of her mother will change in her favor. For the record it was Goddaughters Social Worker, who first came up with a suggestion about using the granny flat. This, as a Halfway house for both mother and daughter to build back their relationship. Social Services are informed and generally supportive of Goddaughter living in the flat during school term weekdays.
DD2 (yr9) is not struggling to keep up, more like she is getting bored with the Math's she is studying. The school would like to place her in highest Math's set in year 10 but issues around timetabling prevent this at the moment. DD2 could probably take her GCSE Math's in June next year and attain a grade 9 . Thus, start A level Math's in year 10. this would be unfair on all the pupils who do not find Math's simple, and need all the resources and time of the teachers .
I regularly told my aunt things I had done wrong, before telling my mother. This is a defense against your own shame, hoping the person you have told will brief your mother on your behalf.
P.I.P which Goddaughter and I claim is not a 'Benefit' but a payment designed to help pay for extra costs bought on by your Disability. The reason P.I.P is not classed as a Benefit is that it is not paid in accordance with Income or asset limitations. Nor is P.I.P counted as income, thus not taxable even if someone earns a £Million a year.
However, once you are on Disability benefits, such as ESA it is very difficult to leave them and find work above basic or menial work, especially if you High Functioning Autistic, this is soul destroying and makes life totally hopeless. There is no support available what so ever for High Functioning Autistics Adults ( this makes the closure of Remploy, as one of most short sighted and vicious actions of Government policy over the last 40 years).
Finally, I am not a mythical character who has been lurking about Mumsnet for years under different pseudonyms, enquiring about just a single topic.