To think it Is it a feasible proposal that a school might consider allowing a currently pregnant Year 12 the opportunity to repeat year 12 next yeara currently pregnant currently pregnant year 12

[redhilary]

I have reposted this thread from chat due to limited traffic.

Is it a feasible proposal that a school might consider allowing a currently pregnant year 12 girl the opportunity to repeat Year 12 next year.

In an ideal world, the school would support her, however, it sounds like they don't want to, for whatever reasons.

I would advise your friend to help her daughter to investigate local colleges. Whether a 6th form college or an FE college. They are likely to be used to supporting vulnerable pupils. Many have excellent student support workers.

They should be able to advise on childcare help etc as well.

Best of luck to her!

I studied got my degree part-time with a baby. I don't have autism or dyslexia - neither of which are a problem in and of themselves, but they're unlikely to make her particular situation easier. I also studied a degree pre kids. There's no comparison in the amount of work: it's far harder once you've got a baby. Luckily age is on her side, so energy-wise maybe it'll be easier, but still it's an entirely different experience.

She's going to go through a massive change in circumstances and schools tend to have "pupils" while colleges have "students". She's very likely to feel out of place if she continues with the grammar school and that will not help her. It seems too that the school aren't very accommodating.

Instead of focussing on what the school should be doing (and I agree they should) you need to focus on the realities of the situation. There's nothing to lose by checking out colleges and I know that some do have childcare too. Even if they don't, it's highly likely that their attitude to life circumstances will be far more tolerant than the grammar school is.

She needs to be somewhere that appreciates what she's doing, not one that views her as a problem who has messed up her life chances and potentially their league table position.

Forget the school's behaviour. Focus on the best fit for her,

A 17 year old with a baby, autism and dyslexia would most likely be better off part time at the local college, as a woman in her thirties I couldn’t study full time for Alevels as well as adjust to be a new mum.

It seems to be a lot of pressure for this young girl, I found the first year of becoming a mum so hard and I had a husband and a nice home, the poor girls welfare needs to be thought of before any resitting of exams.

Schools have different funding rules to colleges. It’s not up to the school to just decide on their own that they can find a student for an extra year.

I dont really see why she needs to repeat?
She could go back to school immediately once the baby is born. It's really childcare thats the issue.
9m olds are slightly easier but not that much. Many still waking overnight.

They arent much cheaper of easier till 3 when they get funding and then 4/5 with school.
I think she should carry on this year and then resit any years necessary later.

Lots of considerations need to be taken into account. Her academic application, her predicted grades (there will be exams next year), what is the set up at home, childcare.

School's are not set up for parents, they're set up for kids. A FE college might be more appropriate for her needs eg crèche, expressing etc

It sounds like the school don’t think she’s up to it. You would need a very level headed chilled out and dedicated teenager to study A levels full time with a 9 month old. Most adults wouldn’t manage that level of study with a young baby, to think a teenager such as the one you describe is capable of it is dreaming. She’ll be better off completing them over 2 years gradually at a college. What’s the rush?

I onow it's not what you asked, but I wouldn't rule out an FE college. I know they often get looked down on somewhat, but that isn't necessarily justified. I have a number of friends who teach at our local College. They are quite open about the fact that there are some challenging young people in the College, but there are plenty who just prefer a slighly different approach to school and thrive in the environment. Your friend's DD is about to undergo an absolutely huge life change. It may well be that after she has had her baby she doesnt want to go back to "normal" school, especially into a year group younger than herself. The college environment with wider age ranges and a more student (as opposed to school pupil) atmosphere might actually be better for her. She's unlikely to be the only student with caring responsibilities and may find a college to be better set up, more flexible and supportive than her current school.
It's going to be tough, and not only will she need to want to do it, she's going to need a lot of support from those around her - including her teachers.
Incidentally my DH failed his A levels first time around and his independent school would not readmit him to resit. Nor would the state 6th form in the naice leafy suburb where he lived. He ended up at a pretty run down inner city FE College and said he initially felt a combination of humiliation and fear about attending. But he did far better there and said that the teaching was vastly superior to his old school. If he had his time again he'd go straight there for 6th form.
This young woman needs to consider all her options but don't rule out the ones that at might at first glance seem undesirable.

Is she keeping the baby? As in, not going for adoption?

A college would suit her so much better, it really would.

I agree a college may feel more grown up and supportive. I hated a levels at school but thrived at a college.

That said. Imagine an employer pulling the same stunt. It would contravene the maternity act. It's worth seeing if it applies to schools too. She should treat it the same as work discrimination.

If I was her though I would look into local collages which may even have nursery facilities.

Does the LEA have a provision for mother and baby aimed schooling? There certainly used to be education facilities that exist to support young women through level 3 - level 4 learning with facilities for childcare. Maybe they went with other stuff Tories didn't like though.

I went to a Grammar school sixth form and there was a girl there who had had a baby at the end of year 11 and then come back to the sixth form. She did very well but often complained that there were no allowances for the fact she had a child to care for.
I work at a college and they are much more understanding.

HSHorror

My friend knows she is likely to be the surrogate mother, with child care if her daughter continues in fulltime education. My friend is also desperate that her daughter achieves her academic aims.

Regarding whether she would like to stay at school. My friends DD was contented and generally happy at the Grammar school. According to her mum She still has a supporting friendship group who have not judged her un kindly. Apparently, some of them are relived they are not in the same situation. Therefore, I know she will be sad to leave her school ,plus her Autism makes her anxious of new surroundings and new people.

the school seem to be more concerned about exam results rather than their duty of care towards a vulnerable pupil

Unfortunately Ofsted, league tables etc all mean that schools need their students to do as well as they possibly can.

The senior management argue that the externally and internal exclusions given to my friends DD for 3 days and 1day respectively are indicative. They suggest that external difficulties can make studying extremely difficult for her

You mention ‘duty of care’. It could be argued leaving a young person in a highly academic environment with all associated pressures when said young person is clearly stressed already (hence the exclusion) before even having the baby to care for on top of everything else is wrong, perhaps? Does the school perhaps consider it is exercising its duty of care by suggesting a different FE environment may meet this young person’s needs better? Her life is going to change in ways her peers lives won’t. She may well find the school environment unforgiving of her wider responsibilities. Ultimately, what you want is that she is able to move onto the next bit of her life successfully.

This attitude not only stinks, I think it contravenes disability guidance, that a school should make reasonable and fair adjustments for a child with disabilities

She isn’t being asked to reconsider her position because of her disabilities, is she?

I tend to agree with you that she should be allowed to make her own decisions and supported in doing so but I do wonder if another environment would work better for her. FE colleges are better suited to treating young people like adults, first name terms with staff, possibly a crèche for the baby, more flexible timetables, and in my experience SEN support is way superior to what is available in schools. It is worth looking at what is available and considering all options before taking on the school, maybe?

What support does the young woman have? Will she be supported at 3am when the baby is screaming and she needs to get up at 6:30am. Will the grandparents help unconditionally, particularly with a boisterous toddler who needs watching for hours on end whilst mum studies? Can the family afford to support mum and grandchild? It is worth thinking through all the possibilities. We forget what it is to have a little person around when our children are older.

I think it is worth remembering that there is more than one way to skin a cat. It’s a setback and upsetting but ultimately when she looks like in 20 years, it may well be setting her onto a path that is the making of her.

I had my twins in the summer between GCSE and A level. My school didn’t want me back, they insisted I couldn’t do it. So I went to the college instead who were incredibly supportive, there was a crèche on site so I could feed them in between classes and spend time with them. I got an A and 2 Bs. I genuinely don’t think that would have happened had i stayed at school. Another girl in my year had a baby in y12 and she ended up dropping out due to lack of support there.

So whilst I agree the suggestion to re-do thd year is perfectly acceptable I would look around to find a more supportive environment.

@redhilary

HSHorror

My friend knows she is likely to be the surrogate mother, with child care if her daughter continues in fulltime education. My friend is also desperate that her daughter achieves her academic aims.

Regarding whether she would like to stay at school. My friends DD was contented and generally happy at the Grammar school. According to her mum She still has a supporting friendship group who have not judged her un kindly. Apparently, some of them are relived they are not in the same situation. Therefore, I know she will be sad to leave her school ,plus her Autism makes her anxious of new surroundings and new people.

But if she’s to resit she’s won’t be with her friends anyway. It’ll be a different year group.

She may get on better as a new young mum at an FE college, where there's likely to be more flexibility re: childcare and accommodating the difficulties faced by parents of young children.

Grammar schools are often quite academically intensive, which might not be what she needs when she's adapting to parenthood on top of studies and life. To be honest, while she's done well to get some GCSEs, with those grades she would likely be under a lot of pressure and have to work very hard at her studies to keep up with the expectations of most grammar schools' A-level courses. Putting her in that environment could risk setting her up to fail, while a more flexible school/college might be better for her development and help her remain confident in her abilities.

It's not unreasonable to explore the option of repeating a year, but she may want to consider alternatives as well. Where she gets her A-levels really won't matter that much in the longer-term, but the experiences she has in the next few years may well leave lasting impressions on her self-esteem.

contented and generally happy at the Grammar school
the stress of looking after a baby AND studying a levels could change that - she might start swearing at the headteacher of breaking up the furniture.
A fresh start at a sixth form or FE college might be a better option.

She is using her disability as an excuse. Why should other students and teachers have to put up with her breaking chairs! It’s absolutely outrageous. I’m pleased that the school are taking a stand. What about everyone else’s rights!

@redhilary

Sorry the exclusions were in year 10 and in year 11 . The first one was an internal exclusion for 1 day for Swearing at the Head teacher . The external 3 day one was for an incident last year. She got very stressed due to the lockdown thus kicked and broke chair in class ! These are both symptoms of Autism especially the broken chair incident. She is very sorry for both incidents . She did not mean to break the chair. The school have now given her a "card" to use as a firebreak when she is anxious to leave the classroom.

Autism should never be used as an excuse for violent outbursts

I went to a gymnasium (similar to grammar school) in Germany and a classmate got pregnant in our last year. She had good childcare arrangements as her parents cared for the baby whilst she was at school and she actually finished with good grades despite a newborn

I'm sorry OP but it sounds like your friend is desperately clinging on to her hopes and dreams for her daughter. I think she needs to take a step back and see how things play out, otherwise she is putting too much pressure on her daughter. Academics can come later and aren't the be all and end all now. My daughter is autistic and pressure of any kind never ends well.

So she isn’t applying herself academically, and this is about what the mum wants rather than what’s best for the daughter?

Also, ‘cos COVID’ really isn’t a very good reason for the violence.

PP have almost unanimously suggested that grammar school isn't the option. But the bigger issue is why is your friends so set on her daughter retaining her place - does she think that FE college is inferior?

Grammar schools are not designed for students who need extra support - quite the opposite. While FE colleges are designed for people who do. Besides the former won't help with contextual evidence. And her friends will have left, so won't be in the same year.

There's everything to be gained from going to the FE. The school isn't being U at all.