To think it Is it a feasible proposal that a school might consider allowing a currently pregnant Year 12 the opportunity to repeat year 12 next yeara currently pregnant currently pregnant year 12

[redhilary]

I have reposted this thread from chat due to limited traffic.

Is it a feasible proposal that a school might consider allowing a currently pregnant year 12 girl the opportunity to repeat Year 12 next year.

Regarding sneaking around she points out she was manipulated (I writing my words carefully here) because nothing illegal has gone on. However, this boy worked his magic on my Goddaughters immaturity . She absolutely loathes him now and does not want to ever see him .

She may not have a choice about seeing him. He is the father of her child. Even if he is showing no interest in the baby right now, he has the right in future years to request contact, request a DNA test, request parental responsibility. The fact that her father is wealthy and has already offered him money once may attract him to stay involved or to appear and disappear in his child's life.

I don't think there will be much chance of GD getting drunk on her birthday in January if she is breast-feeding - but something tells me she won't be doing this as her mother will be giving bottles and raising the baby. It's the baby I feel sorry for, being born into the middle of all this drama. Still think adoption might be the best solution. Again, the baby's father would have to consent.

So you plan on locking a 17 year old into their bedroom? I very much doubt that’s legal!

@redhilary

Chub are coming round tomorrow for us to discuss upgrading the locks on her Bedroom/ Cell door.

I know this is a joke, but I don’t get why you refer to this as ‘us’?

I don’t get why you would have anything to do with any decisions made for this girl?? Leave it to her parents!

@Sirzy

So you plan on locking a 17 year old into their bedroom? I very much doubt that’s legal!

Pretty sure the OP was joking.

Although at this point in this thread, nothing would surprise me!

At my DCs 6th form it was possible to restart year 12 as students are funded till 19 BUT students doing this had to re-start with different A Levels from the ones they started with. Can't remember why this was, perhaps because it could be seen as unfair that someone had 2.5 years of studying for their A Levels if they restarted with the same subjects?

@HoppingPavlova

So far we have: It’s the schools fault It’s most of the teachers fault It’s the SENCOs fault It’s the other students fault It’s Covids fault It’s the boyfriends fault The dad is also at fault

Do you see a running theme here?

My concern is that the baby is going to join this list before too long.

This!

You're overseen in this girl, OP.

I am very joking about locking up a 17 year old girl

However, on the other hand I might change my mind on that one and ask husband if he can start work converting one of his works transit vans. This to include 3/4 independently segregated areas to allow for secure transport between school and home for three teenage girls !

Balloon I am pretty sure that if a pupil has SEN what you say about starting with new A levels is not relevant . Hence a 3 year funding strategy is available for the Sixth Form years. This understands the difficulties a SEN child might face not just with level 3 study (A level's Btec National Diploma E.T.C ) but also of growing up and their lack of maturity.

Another letter from the school saying they are going to write asking for a new EHC assessment on Goddaughters SEN needs to be carried out. This can only be a positive thing going forward, because this can ensure we have EHCP is in operation until she is 25.

Please detach OP.

“We” will not have an ECHP… “She” will have an ECHP.

You forgot two important statements there. It's the Mothers Fault and
it is also my fault.

--------------------------Now for something completely different:

A.I.B.U to look for Math's/ English and Chemistry tutors to get DD 1 year 11 GCSE grades up a grade from the projected 6,7 and 8 respectively, baring in mind she wants to do Chemistry and English A levels and possibly Physics . Hence why I think Grade 6 Math's is a bit weak for Physics A level DDs 1 Math's is her weakest subject, despite her Grandmother being a retired Math's teacher. However, DD does not want to be tutored by her Grandmother, as she does not understand her.

( I know this thread is a bit daft now, so I have posted this for a bit of light relief). It is a true question though as I don't want any of my own children without SEN being deemed as being average on here by the Mumsnet Cognoscenti.

It depends on the school, but in this day and age most reasonable Heads would allow it.

My MIL recently retired as a secondary Assistant Head, and they’d had a girl come back in to do exams while pregnant I think.

@redhilary

Many posters have been saying you are too involved and that it is not your fault.

However, the family, or at least the sister, seem to think it is so it might serve you better to offer them a sarcastic remark instead.

They do seem like a bunch of losers, I'm afraid. I wouldn't touch any of them with a 10 foot bargepole. Disentangle yourself before the next baby arrives...a far more likely prospect than her returning to grammar school!

Thank you Vesta

One thing that really stands out to me is that nothing is the girl’s fault.

She swore at the head because the other girls did but her autism meant she said it directly.
She broke a chair because of lockdown frustration and because the school didn’t treat her properly.
She says bad things because of her boyfriend/his dad.
She snuck out in 2020 because you didn’t stop it.
She got pregnant because you didn’t stop it.
She didn’t get as good grades as she could have because of COVID.

This girl is about to become responsible for an infant. And yet nothing in her life is within her own gift. The best thing that she can learn - and be encouraged to learn - is personal responsibility. That doesn’t mean punishment and locking her in her room, but everyone in her immediate family needs to accept the situation as it is, rather than indulge in in-fighting and If Onlys. I get that you’re all very upset, and that she has SEN, but nobody is doing her any favours by treating her as if she has no responsibility for her own choices. Especially given that she’s about to raise a child herself.

If she’s got the support of her mum I don’t see why she can’t give it a go at studying for 3 A levels. I had my eldest son at 16 (he’s 28 now). I had just left school in the May and he was born in the October. I took a year out and then started 2 A levels at a local college. They had a nursery and so I took my son on the college bus a few days and my parents helped. When he was 4 I started at Uni, I got onto a course that accepted 2 A levels. It wasn’t easy but with family support I graduated with a 2:1! I got a good job and well everything turned out great. I always remember at my records of achievement day I had a small bump and I overheard (as they said it loud enough for me to hear) them saying I’d ruined my life. Well those comments were what kept me going when I was working 2 part time jobs and writing essays through the night. I’ve worked hard in my career and am quite senior now. One thing I feel strongly about is give this girl the confidence to know she can still achieve her dreams. Don’t let anyone tell her otherwise. Best of luck,
Ps 7’s are great, only on MN as you say does everyone get a string of 9’s

Audacity. The incidents are obviously Goddaughter's fault, but every thing I have said about the reasons why they have happened is correct.

Goddaughter, her elder sister and my best friend are the dearest closest people to me apart from my husband and my 2 DDs. All of them over the years have brought joy in to my life and my friend in particularly rebuilt me from the pits of my mental illness at 21 years of age. I would not be here today without her. I have been very very close to Goddaughter and her sister since they were both born but particularly Goddaughter, who lived with me and my family from 8 - 10 years old .

This being because her Autism meant it was impossible for her to endure with the twice daily arguments between her mother and father . Her mother thus became depressed and started to drink substantially and take strong anti- depressant drugs. I had to step in and take both her daughters to live with my family and me consequently elder daughter also lived with my family for 8 months from age 13-14, before her mother started to recover from her drinking problems.

Thus, elder daughter despite doing brilliantly from an academic point of view has a protracted relationship, with her mother. She wants me to sought out everything out by wanting me to be the mother to her and her sister.

I have not mentioned this, before because I think it is not relevant to what I was initially asking about.

For the record my 13 year old DD2 year has got her first after school, detention due to my eye been taken away from the fact she has not been doing some homework tasks. I have a rule where I require DD1 to do 2hours of Homework a night over 6 days and DD2 to do 1h 30 over six days. I insist they show me what they have down however, DD2 has been fobbing me off with what she has done not doing her Math's homework on either Friday or Saturday ( homework is done over six days and not seven) Sunday is sacred we as a family do not do any work or anything apart from being a family unit.

Sunday is so important because I work every single Saturday due to working in Retail Management, 2 days a week I can work from home but Saturday I have to be in the store. Hence, why we do nothing on a Sunday(though it is not impossible I might be called out to solve store fuck ups).
The little devil DD2 has not completed her last 3 Math's Homework tasks. They get a 30 minute lunchtime detention for the first one not done then a subject after school one of one hour for subsequent offences.

Should the school have informed me DD1 was given a lunchtime detention last week..

I think that is why I can't help writing the word us regarding Goddaughter's future..

DD 2 is year 9.. A few missing words *

Thanks Darbs.

P.s it was me who got Goddaughter through the 11+ tutoring and exam that's why I am so loathed to give up her grammar school place...

DD2 was given a lunchtime detention..

Well isn't she lucky then, to get a 'first offence' consequence for something she's done 3 times.

Maybe pay more attention to your own daughters, rather than your goddaughter.

Tbh I wouldn’t blame your daughters. If you have been carrying on at home as you have been on this thread I wouldn’t wonder the wheels have fallen off a little for them. I can’t imagine it would be a great environment to be in. Maybe look to address this as priority rather than checking their work and blaming the school for not notifying you of one lunchtime detention.

I honestly can’t see the big deal with the homework detention anyway. That’s how kids learn. Your DD is in Year 9. Are you going to be checking work etc at uni? It’s the transition to independence and has to start somewhere and there will be some slip-ups but this is normal. It’s far more effective for a kid to be motivated to want to do homework because of the consequences of detentions rather than being treated as a young child being stood over and having work checked off by a parent. It’s only by getting the detentions that they can understand they don’t want to keep getting them and this causes an intrinsic change in their motivation to do the work. It’s a very safe way to let a kid fail in order to learn. It’s with these little ticket items you get these opportunities as opposed to big ticket items where it’s not a safe way to let a kid fail in order to learn such as drugs, pregnancy etc.

Maybe stop being so focused on other families and concentrate on yours?

And maybe realise that micromanaging things doesn’t work! Seems you need to be in control of everything which doesn’t help anyone learn independence

No she has got an after school detention next Tuesday not a lunchtime one. It is not because she finds the homework difficult, it is just act of defiance from her. Apparently she is finding year 9 Math's so boring. According to her there is no point doing stuff she has known how to do since she was 8 (she is classed as gifted and talented in Math's and Science ) DD2 is outstandingly good at Math's and Science for her age. The school expect her to get a Grade 9 GCSE mark for Math's when she takes it next year in year 10 . Thus, often naughtily DD1who struggles relatively with Math's has let's DD1 do her Math's homework for her.

The teachers are not stupid though thus on occasions have made DD1 do her homework again over lunchtime. One time DD1 s Math's teacher marked DD1s homework by saying 'excellent' work DD2 . 'DD1 Lunchtime detention'.

It is amusing at times having a very gifted child, but she can be a 'brat' at times. DD2 has been known to answer back Science teachers in Primary/Secondary School when she thinks they have given a wrong explanation.

There I am now talking about my DD's ...

@redhilary

Thanks Darbs.

P.s it was me who got Goddaughter through the 11+ tutoring and exam that's why I am so loathed to give up her grammar school place...

What do you mean by this-did you tutor her in English yourself?

No the tutoring was done at my home and obviously I comforted, encouraged her and took the brunt of her persistent tantrums. Autistic 9/10 year olds when told they have an hour of tutoring today can become quite difficult and forceful in their opinions.

Goddaughter always tells me things before he mother, hence I was the first person she told what had happened and that she was pregnant.

Posters say why do you feel responsible or at fault, for Goddaughter's upcoming pregnancy. Giving my history with her, I believe I should have got her to get some clothes, get her in the car and bring her home with me during the lockdown . This, when it was obvious what was going to happen between her and the boy. Especially, I should have collected her when she was having blazing arguments with her mother about sneaking out . Goddaughter's mother was telling her to go and live anyway with me when angry which. I think Goddaughter might have liked to live with me then, as it would have given the opportunity to remove herself from her obsession of the 'boy' .

I know this is wishful thinking on my part and that I can not be held responsible for the actions of a 16 year old girl. But I think we would now be discussing what Degree she wants to do, not which Pram to buy.