AIBU to shun my needy neighbour

[honeyikeptthekidsthesamesize]

I recently moved into a new house. I have said hello to my neighbour on about 3 occasions and since then she has posted a note through my door, inviting me to a welcome party. Sweet this may have been but the note ended with her suggesting I could borrow her lawnmower. My lawn was a little overgrown at this time, so I wasn't sure if she was hinting or not. I didn't reply to the invite, which might have been a little harsh, but I just like to keep myself to myself. Since then she has spoke to me and told me that she made a cake especially for the occasion and had been expecting me to turn up even though I didn't reply. She is married and lives with her husband. She is quite young, but doesn't seem to go out a lot. Anyway, yesterday she knocked my door several times and I ignored it(I was working and did not know it was her so wasn't ignoring her on purpose). She came up to me today saying she wanted to speak to me yesterday to ask if her relatives could park behind my car. Today she came up to me in floods of tears, saying she is distraught because her close relative has recently passed away. Obviously i'm sorry for her loss, but i barely know her so don't really think it is appropriate for her to be crying to me.

I ignore her all the time, wishing she would get the hint that i like my own company but she seems to always be looking for interaction. AIBU to shun her?

Yanbu...if she knocks on your door dont answer it!

Yanbu but I would be gentle, sounds like she's lonely. Make it clear you are working at home so can't be disturbed or come to the door, hopefully she will take the hint.

She may think you are being anti-social. It is a fine balance, you don't need to be best buddies but can still be polite and neighbourly.

I mean, it's pretty rude. But it seems like you've decided anyway, you're just looking for approval. So crack on.

I wouldnt deliberately shun her but would keep my distance, dont swap phone numbers or suggests she texts you. She may be lonely or desperate for a friend, was the welcome party for you.

She sounds very vulnerable and potentially quite unstable. I’d steer well clear.

You seem pretty rude and unpleasant so hopefully she’ll get the hint soon

No she doesn’t

She sounds like a normal person who doesn’t have the time or inclination to get overly invested in someone who’s a weird combination of busybody and emotionally needy.

I think you sound rude. Would it have been so hard to write a note back saying can't make the party, thank you for the thought.

It's not unreasonable to borrow car parking space if someone is not going out. My neighbours and I used to do it all the time. If you had answered the door the first time to say yes or no - she wouldn't have knocked several times.

She does sound overfamiliar, but you were rude not to decline the invitation.

You don't have to be friends, but you can be civil while being distant.

I mean she sounds full on and you sound rude, who doesn’t reply to an invite?! But just tell her you don’t want to be friends

Both of you are behaving equally strangely.

She is overly friendly and you are plain rude.

Regardless of anything that's happened afterwards, you initially ignored her invite to a party which is hugely rude. Would it have been hard to say thanks but no thanks? Dress it up however you like but don't confuse liking your own company with being plain rude, because from here you just look rude.

I think you were very rude not to reply to her (okay, bizarre) invitation but otherwise I would also keep at arm’s length.

I think YABU to have just ignored her invitation. You should have told her if you weren't going to go. It would bother me if a neighbour was actively shunning me, and I'm very much a keep myself to myself person. Surely it wouldn't hurt to pass the time of day with her.

She's dodged a bullet I reckon.
Out of interest, how do you know she knocked on your door 3 times if you didn't know it was her?

Dear neighbour, thank you for your kind invitation. Unfortunately, with family and work commitments, I won’t be able to accept. Best wishes, rude neighbour.

I can't believe anyone thinks YABU. You just happen to have moved in next door to this person, you don't owe her anything. Smile and nod, smile and nod, but keep your distance. I may sound harsh, but believe me I've been there with a needy neighbour. I got to the stage of parking in a different street so they don't know I was home!

OP, I’m American and used to a lot. But that would make me a bit . It’s overfamiliar, even for where I live.

Good grief, she sounds desperately needy. I would be keeping a very, very wide berth. Of course, I would always be polite, but Iike you, I highly value my privacy, and I simply don't want to have close relationships with my neighbours. She sounds like a nightmare, honestly. Give her an inch and she'll take a thousand miles.

YANBU at all but she sounds so lonely, poor thing.

You're being really rude. You shouldn't be ignoring her and I think not replying to the invitation was horribly rude.

She sounds bizarre. I'd be keeping a polite distance.

I think it was rude of you not to reply to the invite. She sounds annoying though

I agree your neighbour sounds very needy and I would be cautious about a closer friendship but I also think you're turning it into a bigger issue. Shunning sounds both old fashioned and extreme when a simple conversation setting out your boundaries would do. It was rude to ignore the invitation although her failure to get the message after such rudeness is perhaps a red flag. Just tell her you prefer to live a quiet, self contained life with cordial rather than overly friendly neighbour relations.