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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH buying cheap at the supermarket.

391 replies

WhatsAppening · 21/10/2021 14:05

I know this is a first world problem but humour me.

DH is wonderful in every way but we have very different attitudes to spending.

I work crazy hours and am rarely home for dinner so the weekly shop falls to him, he orders it and I collect it. Every week I want to cry into the boot of my car as I pack bags of Tesco Value everything.

He knows I love a roast on a Sunday and that’s one of few days I’m almost guaranteed to be home for dinner. He isn’t the best of cooks but he tries really hard.

He always buys own brand cheap frozen roast potatoes/yorkshires. I am not at all averse to frozen ones but these are the 30p a bag version and they taste of sadness and misery.

He’s bought a pre prepared pork joint which I know from experience will be dry and tasteless. It would be a better economy to slow roast a shoulder joint and have sandwich meat for the week.

The kicker though this week is he’s bought value cat litter. Cat litter ffs. It’s rubbish. The house will stink.

We budget £600 pcm for the supermarket and he rarely spends more than £90pw and that includes four bottles of wine for me.

AIBU? YABU he’s being frugal and that’s good and you only have one meal a week at home anyway so suck it up.

YANBU he could splash out a bit on certain things.

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 22/10/2021 18:53

Four bottles of wine a week?

That is shocking.

When I was doing your job I was on a bottle a night!

Then lost my job due to covid and went from 65 hour weeks to 20, and a bottle a night to two bottles a week.....go figure :o

Hawkins001 · 22/10/2021 18:54

YABU, considering most products usually are produced similar and just have fancy packaging etc added, an article in the newspaper once, same products in waitrose, but had made for aldi and same version but with made for waitrose, only more ££

LisaD76 · 22/10/2021 18:56

CaptainMyCaptain … I totally agree, and they taste better… don’t know why people have ready done if they have the time to do them from scratch

Hawkins001 · 22/10/2021 18:56

Welcome to mums net, and how many aspects people like to give advice on.

FOJN · 22/10/2021 19:02

You've had a really hard (and frankly exasperating) time here OP and I'm not sure why.

I have zero tolerance with useless men but it seems pretty obvious your husbands only crime is being less interested in food and cooking than you are and is buying cheaper options because he either can't tell or doesn't appreciate the difference between cheaper and more expensive brands so doesn't think the extra cost is worth it. It's hardly LTB territory, especially as you say he's not tight in other ways. You just both have a different approach to food.

I'm glad it's partially resolved, I think just asking him not to change items you add to the basket will see things fully resolved.

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/10/2021 19:02

I'm not sure what his issue with roast potatoes is anyway. They both go in the oven on a tray....you dont have to par boil etc first (although I accept that they do taste better if you do them that way), just peel them, brush with oil and bung in the oven.

Sounds like its confidence (or lack of) that is holding him back, which is a shame because its practice that makes it easier. So yes I could knock up a lovely dinner in 20 minutes, but could I have done that when I first started? Of course not. I remember my first ever home made lasagne......took 2.5 hours before it even went into the oven! Now I can get it done in half an hour.

I would be encouraging him to do more from scratch to build up his confidence. Perhaps when you do have time off together, instead of a takeaway, suggest making dinner together.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 22/10/2021 19:05

If you skip the parboiling, shaking in colander and flour, you may as well go with frozen ones.

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/10/2021 19:08

Flour?!

And roasties done in the meat fat from raw are lovely as long as you baste them.

LittleBearPad · 22/10/2021 19:08

@JesusIsAnyNameFree

If you skip the parboiling, shaking in colander and flour, you may as well go with frozen ones.
And how hard is parboiling really. Roast potatoes simply aren’t difficult. Nor are roasts generally when it comes down to it.
JesusIsAnyNameFree · 22/10/2021 19:11

@PyongyangKipperbang

Flour?!

And roasties done in the meat fat from raw are lovely as long as you baste them.

Flour for extra crisp, and goose or duck fat. And lots of it.
SunnyLeaf · 22/10/2021 19:14

Jeez people love the drama on here don’t they. You and your DH sound lovely Grin

And now I REALLY want some Yorkshire puddings and roast potatoes (though I’m a snob and absolutely will not be buying pre made ones thank you very much)

dottiedodah · 22/10/2021 19:17

Why not just say politely to him that you would like the better type of frozen potato ? Or mention to him that you could peel potatoes and just put them in a tray of hot fat.No parboling required! MAybe you should do the food shop order ?

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/10/2021 19:19

No!!! Lamb fat is the only acceptable fat for roasties!

I tried goose fat....dont get what the fuss is about they werent any better than doing them in oil.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 22/10/2021 19:28

@PyongyangKipperbang

No!!! Lamb fat is the only acceptable fat for roasties!

I tried goose fat....dont get what the fuss is about they werent any better than doing them in oil.

If you come near my roasts with lamb juice we're gonna have a big problem!
PyongyangKipperbang · 22/10/2021 19:29

Perhaps the old "Roasties are dead easy" argument falls apart when you realise that everyone prefers them done differently :o

LittleBearPad · 22/10/2021 19:33

@PyongyangKipperbang

Perhaps the old "Roasties are dead easy" argument falls apart when you realise that everyone prefers them done differently :o
You only have to make the for your family. Not a restaurant full of people.
WhiskyXray · 22/10/2021 19:34

I like them in chicken juices best tbh. Goosefat just costs extra £££ that I'd rather shell out on pre-made toad in the hole and pigs in blankets.

God we have stupid names for food.

keeptheaspidistra · 22/10/2021 19:34

Just log in and add what you want, change the bits you don't, its not that big a deal surely

Chelyanne · 22/10/2021 19:38

Do the shopping yourself if you don't like how he does it. My dh would be exactly the same so I don't have him do the shopping.

AlbertBridge · 22/10/2021 19:39

Do you go and collect it from the supermarket? Then why not just walk into the shop and pick up some of the stuff you like? Let him eat the stuff you don't.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 22/10/2021 19:42

@WhiskyXray

I like them in chicken juices best tbh. Goosefat just costs extra £££ that I'd rather shell out on pre-made toad in the hole and pigs in blankets.

God we have stupid names for food.

Spotted dick. Sounds like a horrible affliction.
WhiskyXray · 22/10/2021 19:44
Grin
FeeFi100 · 22/10/2021 19:49

I’m confused! Because, surely with all of the work you do you contribute to the food budget and so should be able to eat what you’d like? I’d hate to be working so much and can’t even have as much as my fav. choc bar :)
I’d suggest you kindly say something and perhaps write out a list of what you’d like :)

Babypug · 22/10/2021 19:49
  1. Be honest - if you don't tell him nothing is going to change
  1. Suck it up and carry on week after week.
  1. Do it yourself - go to the shops, do it online, give him a list. Whatever works

Life's too short surely you can do something?!

ancientgran · 22/10/2021 19:53

@WhatsAppening

The reason I don’t do it myself is that it’s only him and DS (and occasionally teen DD) who are around for dinner and so he picks what to eat. He buys very different things than I would eat. When I worked less and did all the cooking I also did all the shopping but I’d need him to be with me to order it anyway so it would be pointless.

I did actually book the slot this week and added in my wine and some nice bread and cheese to hold the basket. He swapped it out for own brand.

Ask him .to do his order and then you add what you want