To not want to drive 40 minutes to return a Jam Jar?

[itsme189]

A family member (partners side) made us all Jam for Christmas last year, lovely gift and was very nice.

They now want all the Jars back to do it again they are like Kilner Jars (just not branded I don't think) I do still have it in the random Tupperware cupboard.

I would have to drive 40 minutes to return the Jar DH thinks I should as it is thiers. I just said it was a gift and I am happy to not receive any Jam this year to avoid this. We wont see them between now and Christmas. He thinks I'm being unreasonable?

DH can't drive and there is no public transport to where they live!

Are you talking about just one jam jar here, well no, I would not drive anywhere to return it.

Ah they are the type that think you ADORED their jam and that they are doing you a huge favour by making you some more, hence their disbelief you wouldn’t be willing to do an eighty minute round trip for the privilege. Can’t believe the people suggesting you post it either, it’s the cost plus the faff of taking it to the post office. It was a gift!!

God I'd be embarrassed to ask for it back ... are they skint?

@RoseGoldEagle

Ah they are the type that think you ADORED their jam and that they are doing you a huge favour by making you some more, hence their disbelief you wouldn’t be willing to do an eighty minute round trip for the privilege. Can’t believe the people suggesting you post it either, it’s the cost plus the faff of taking it to the post office. It was a gift!!

Yes, exactly what I think too. They will imagine people live for her jam, cry when it's all gone and claim they would pay £££ for it!

@BigSandyBalls2015 far far from it they have a huge house, a boat, always off on fancy holidays, expensive cars etc. Also I just dont care about the Jam. No Jar, no Jam fine by me!

Tell them you used it to collect a stool sample for the doctor, but you’ll be happy to give it a quick rinse and pop it round if they still want it.

How weird. If they'd expected the jar back, they should have made that quite clear when gifting the contents of it. I definitely wouldn't be making a round trip of an hour and 20 mins to return a bloody jar!

This will get expensive-jam jars?

ffs it cost more to post or drive than to buy a new one-if they dont want people keeping gifts they shouldnt send any

I can see you've responded to the bonkers relative @itsme189.
My advice is to make this jar the centrepiece of your Christmas table (put some oasis in it and stick some dried flowers/holly/a dinner candle in it) or put cotton wool balls in it with a few other cheap beauty products or bubble bath in a basket and gift it back to the bonkers relative.
It could become the gift that keeps on giving!

Surely you just tell them you recycled it when you finished the delicious jam, back in January.

Can't you give it to them next time you see them? Or give it to another family member who can pass it on? I do think you should return it if you were asked. And posting it or sending a new one is making a bit of a point of "I don't want to see you so I'm spending money instead". But I don't think there's any rush...

If they start hassling you about it then say you are busy and offer to post.

Only rich people are tight like this

What kind of gift is jam anyway, you can buy it easily anywhere

This is bonkers. They should have re-used old jars instead of asking for a Kilner back. Besides, surely a kilner jar can be a lasting part of the gift. They sound like hard work OP.

If jam is gifted, I would always assume the jar was part of that gift.

They don’t want to collect it, but think you will be willing to travel for 80 mins just to get their very, very special jam 😂

Its pointless putting jam in a kilner jar anyway. Send her a £2 voucher from Ikea where she can get another for £1.99 (just to make your point.)
YANBU
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DH can't drive

People who don’t drive don’t get to tell me where and when I have to drive miles to their family to return bits of glass!

If he wants to return it, he can take it.

This was actually a very cheap present. We had 2 plum trees and each year had a really good crop. Though I never made jam which I regret a bit but we just ate them and gave a lot away for free. I obviously missed a trick here as in cheap Christmas presents. Probably cost very little per jar of course depending on the size of the jar. Surely it would be more eco friendly if they saved jars throughout the year and used them. If I was given jam as a gift in an ordinary jar it would be long gone in the recycling. The kilner jar might have gone the same way if I couldn't have found a use for it or more likely DH would have taken it to his shed and found a use for it.

I am really enjoying your rage and your (imo) spot on replies to bonkers aunt. You're really not BU. Keep up the good work.

I'd just Amazon them one. Then when you see them at Christmas and they give you another batch of it give them the old empty one back to save you from having to do jobs around your own present next year.

Afterthought
Buy her a box of a dozen as her Xmas present, gift wrapped.

@MarleneDietrichsSmile

What kind of gift is jam anyway, you can buy it easily anywhere

Isn’t this true of most gifts?

Just post it or order a new one and get Amazon to deliver it there x