To not want to drive 40 minutes to return a Jam Jar?

[itsme189]

A family member (partners side) made us all Jam for Christmas last year, lovely gift and was very nice.

They now want all the Jars back to do it again they are like Kilner Jars (just not branded I don't think) I do still have it in the random Tupperware cupboard.

I would have to drive 40 minutes to return the Jar DH thinks I should as it is thiers. I just said it was a gift and I am happy to not receive any Jam this year to avoid this. We wont see them between now and Christmas. He thinks I'm being unreasonable?

DH can't drive and there is no public transport to where they live!

Didn't you drop it and it broke?!

This sounds like my MIL...can I ask OP, is the relative relatively wealthy but very tight?

Post it by 2d class recorded - four pounds for a good size parcel!

Why are people going on about the cost of the jam, Ford every gift have to be expensive and useless. Preserves dont make themselves, I make infused gin, hot ketchup and jam. I have to grow the stuff, pick it cook it, steralize everything, label. It dont make its self you know. I do think expecting op to drive all that way is unreasonable but I hate how commercial Christmas has gotten. Just call her and explain the situation, say you'll drop off at xmas. Sorry can't get there! Fin. If she dont understand then that's tough for her. Buy her a box of jam jars for an xmas gift

YANBU

NO way would I do this; I probably wouldn’t even respond to the message because they are being exceptionally rude asking for a gift back.

Given your updates I don’t think this is about the money it’s about being able to dictate to and control other people. You are right to not enable their behaviour.

Tossers. Amazon them a new one so they can see what a lot of inconvenience they’ve caused.

@LivingLaVidaBabyShower

I would amazon them a new one and tell them to keep their jam this year...

Definitely this! I think they've got a cheek asking for the jar to be returned tbh.🙄

It was a gift... I wouldn't return it

‘Flat pack’ it and post it back 😂

“No problem, I’ll give it you when I see you”

Jars are absurdly expensive to buy new online, that is why they want it back. Just post it wrapped in bubble wrap and cardboard along with their gift for this year so you only pay for one parcel.

If you live near family who are returning a jar can't one person return several? If I were making home made gifts part of that gift would be a lovely container.

@itsme189

They messaged everyone individually asking for them back.

They've responded "I dont really want to drive all the way there, hopefully other people are more willing to return theirs or this will get expensive. And yeah I wont be making any for people who cant return it"

I DONT WANT YOUR BLODDY JAM

I just said no problem maybe let people know you need the Jar back next time.

I would be tempted to reply yes I agree 80 mins is too far to drive for a jam jar.

People are bonkers, who would think that it's a reasonable request to ask someone to drive 40 minutes each way to return a "gift", almost a year on do they expect you to do this every year?

I've had some good laughs though reading some of the replies

@Redburnett

Jars are absurdly expensive to buy new online, that is why they want it back. Just post it wrapped in bubble wrap and cardboard along with their gift for this year so you only pay for one parcel.

www.wilko.com/en-uk/wilko-12-pack-190ml-twist-top-jar/p/0421504

Why are you taking responsibility for this? It's your partner's side of the family. He can take the Jar back or not.
In some ways it's actually got very little to do with you, but you are choosing to be involved.
If it was me, I'd have just stayed out of it.
Maybe you have taken responsibility for this relationship while your DH just stands back and lets you (which is easier for him).

@Redburnett

Jars are absurdly expensive to buy new online, that is why they want it back. Just post it wrapped in bubble wrap and cardboard along with their gift for this year so you only pay for one parcel.

Firstly they're a few quid so hardly absurdly expensive. Secondly, it was a gift. With no expectation of being returned.

Bloody ridiculous.
I think you handled it well.

There are some lunatic posts on this thread. It’s a jar. Who asks for a jar back.

Chuck it in the bin OP.

She's bonkers and should be completely embarrassed for being tighter than a frogs arse.

tell them you put it in the recyling no longer have it

Absolutely batshit. Tell them you were getting out of the cupboard to bring back and dropped it. Or it's gone in the recycling bin by error.

The jar would have been the best part for me... it was a gift and they can get stuffed

The OP responded ages ago.

If someone sent me a message saying sorry things are tight I can’t return if message saying oh my gosh of course no worries! Not a snotty response about they won’t be making it for people who can’t return them. What the hell- it’s jam! Yanbu.