Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to drive 40 minutes to return a Jam Jar?

554 replies

itsme189 · 21/10/2021 11:00

A family member (partners side) made us all Jam for Christmas last year, lovely gift and was very nice.

They now want all the Jars back to do it again they are like Kilner Jars (just not branded I don't think) I do still have it in the random Tupperware cupboard.

I would have to drive 40 minutes to return the Jar DH thinks I should as it is thiers. I just said it was a gift and I am happy to not receive any Jam this year to avoid this. We wont see them between now and Christmas. He thinks I'm being unreasonable?

DH can't drive and there is no public transport to where they live!

OP posts:
forrestgreen · 21/10/2021 14:17

Sadly you dropped it...

Derbee · 21/10/2021 14:20

I know you said you can’t afford to post it, but if you sent a few pieces of smashed glass in an Jiffy bag, it would be cheaper than a large jar. And would be very entertaining

Buffoonborisisatwat · 21/10/2021 14:22

Or... Tie a pretty ribbon around the jar, fill it full of chocs from the pound shop, add a Christmas card with greetings from all of you to all of them, and post it back timed to arrive with them on Xmas eve 😊

thisplaceisweird · 21/10/2021 14:23

They sound mental OP. The cost is almost nothing, the jar is cheap as you've said and the plums came from their own tree! Probably cost about 50p a jar for them.
When you give someone a gift, that includes all parts of it! CFs.

For xmas give them some empty jars wrapped up "ooh I know how much you like your jars"

thisplaceisweird · 21/10/2021 14:24

@Derbee

I know you said you can’t afford to post it, but if you sent a few pieces of smashed glass in an Jiffy bag, it would be cheaper than a large jar. And would be very entertaining
love this idea
Chipsinthewoods · 21/10/2021 14:25

Strange that they aren’t keen on driving 40 minutes to collect it from yours but expected you to do just that.

Strugglingtodomybest · 21/10/2021 14:25

I think you've handled it well OP and everyone going on about just buying a new one, wtf?! No way.

I'd have just said I'd recycled it back in January.

SilverBirchWithout · 21/10/2021 14:34

It seems a bit late for jam making?

RoseGoldEagle · 21/10/2021 14:36

Why not post it?

Because it will cost more than the jar by the time she’s packaged it up, driven to the post office, possibly paid for parking, and then paid for postage, not to mention the hassle of finding time to do that! It’s not something OP borrowed, it was a present!

NataliaSerene · 21/10/2021 14:42

I cannot believe their over the top response! I’d want to reply that the time and gas money was worth more than the cost of a new jar. What jerks!!

JurgensCakeBaby · 21/10/2021 14:43

I gave MIL back a box of jars this year because she's forever making jam, curds, cherry brandy/slow gin with all the different fruits from her garden or DHs Aunt's (which are all delicious) and they all arrive in lovely big kilner jars. I have use for a couple but not the volume we'd amassed. I gave them back and said I'd continue to do so to save constantly buying new jars and we see her every week so there's no unnecessary travel.
Asking for a gift back with an 80 minute round trip is pure cheeky fuckery

butterpuffed · 21/10/2021 14:49

You know those nice large candles that often come in an ornate pot , OP ?

I would get her one of those for Christmas , then leave it till about this time next year and tell her you make the candles so please would she bring the pot back as you're making one for a friend.

FinallyFluid · 21/10/2021 14:49

@Mamamamasaurus

Give them the jam jar back, when you next see them (fuck posting it) but wrap it and gift it, it's their Christmas present. Problem solved.
But store fresh garlic in it until then, by the time they have washed it one hundred times, asking for it back will be an utter false economy. Grin
LouLou198 · 21/10/2021 14:52

Good for you for responding in the way you did! A jar of homemade jam is not worth the cost of an 80 minute car trip or the cost/inconvenience of posting. You can
but that sort of jar for £1 in Asda, can't believe she is making people return them!

hennaoj · 21/10/2021 14:52

@CecilyP

DH thinks I should as it is thiers.

But it's not theirs. It's part of the gift to you. They could have given you the same jam in a recycled plastic container - but they didn't, they used a jar to make it into an attractive gift for you!

I definitely wouldn't make a special journey to return it unless you really want to see them anyway. It would cost £3.20 to post, far less than the petrol. Get your DH to pack it and post it.

They cost £3.29 on Amazon and you don't have the hassle of packing and posting it.
onelittlefrog · 21/10/2021 14:56

How ridiculous.

If you make jam as a gift for people you don't expect them to return the jar. The jar is part of the gift.

You don't give someone a present and say you want the box back.

If she's insistent, you would be better off just buying her a new jar. It will be cheaper than the cost of petrol.

I would just say I don't want any jam this year.

starfishmummy · 21/10/2021 15:02

As the donor I would assume that the container was part of the gift- I specifically buy nice tins/containers for home made goodies and don't expect them back.

On the other hand if I know someone is a jam maker I'd probably ask if they wanted me to save jars for them anyway, but they might not get the same ones back that they gave me.

romdowa · 21/10/2021 15:05

I'd ask for her bank details and I'd transfer 1.50 for the jar 🤣🤣🤣 but I'm petty af

AryaStarkWolf · 21/10/2021 15:06

@Pottedpalm

Post it
...
Feedingthebirds1 · 21/10/2021 15:12

Just out of interest, what sort of gifts does she expect to receive at Christmas? I'm thinking maybe she's also the type to demand very expensive presents from others.

And what gifts (if any) does she get for others in the years when she's not bestowing the bounty of her garden on you all?

123ZYX · 21/10/2021 15:18

Take some Tupperware with you to Christmas this year.

That way, if you do get given more jam, you can immediately scrape it out into the Tupperware and hand the jar back. I'm sure she'll be thrilled to get it back to quickly Wink

DedalusBloom · 21/10/2021 15:22

Oh this thread is tremendous. The idiocy of people never fails to amuse. NO JAM FOR YOU, OP!! Bet you're gutted. Grin

DedalusBloom · 21/10/2021 15:23

@123ZYX

Take some Tupperware with you to Christmas this year.

That way, if you do get given more jam, you can immediately scrape it out into the Tupperware and hand the jar back. I'm sure she'll be thrilled to get it back to quickly Wink

Genius!
CelebrateAndDream · 21/10/2021 15:29

Probably the most stingy Christmas present giver ever OP 🤣🤣. Who on earth would think it reasonable to ask for a jar back...that was already part of a gift!! I mean that LITERALLY! A jar of jam is literally jam...in a jar!

🤣

theremustonlybeone · 21/10/2021 15:33

I make christmas chutney for my mum and wouldnt dream of asking her post the jar back. (she is 400 miles away) To post it would likely cost more than the jar. You can snap non branded ones up at the supermarket for a couple of pound. So I would tell them you no longer have it