..to think you wear black to a funeral?

[NotLikeTheOthers]

Just that really. You wear black to a funeral, unless the family have requested otherwise, don't you? DM doesn't like wearing black and is going to wear a burgundy outfit. Is that viewed as disrespectful? I feel like mostly black with a muted colour might be ok, but not no black. I don't go to lots of funerals though so need to know what the done thing is please!

Why does it matter what someone wears?! Who is it actually for?! Wearing black or dark colours is totally meaningless. Remembering and celebrating someone's life comes from the heart not the wardrobe!

For my Fathers funeral, we requested anything BUT black - It was actually lovely to see so many vibrant colours and was certainly a celebration of his life as opposed to a sombre occasion (but then... we did have 'SpongeBob Squarepants' play as one of the songs..... )

However - that's what we, the family wanted and I'm glad we did.

If there wasn't any direction - I'd wear black as that's 'traditional' and typically expected.

Personally, I don't think it matters what someone wears but unless I was told otherwise, I would err on the side of caution and wear a dark colour. I went to a funeral last week and wore a black and cream dress and black jacket. I'd have preferred to wear navy but couldn't fit into my smart navy dress.

I always wear all black, I actually spend a lot of time choosing the perfect black dress its like a distraction from grief so I can cope. I can't ever wear the dresses again either, they go straight to charity.

Nope. For at least the last 20- 30 years, I have not been to a single funeral where black clothes were a majority. Even close family of the dead, rarely wear black.

Many if not most funerals I've attended have been " Family requests do NOT wear black" "Family requests please wear bright colours".

I wear dark coloured clothes, e.g. brown or maroon, but not black. In my experience it tends to be mostly close family members wearing black but not others.

I don't possess anything black, but I'd certainly wear the darkest colour I had.

I think unless there’s a specific theme (football colours etc) or specific instructions not to, then you should wear black. And it should be formal clothing.
I’m 31 and not old fashioned in other aspects, but I do think it creates a sense of occasion and respect.

I’d always err on side of caution and wear black unless it was a wear bright colours type funeral. But I think any dark colour and smart would be fine.

A family friend who was a keen cyclist asked for all her friends in the hobby to attend her funeral in their cycling wear.
The colours were wonderful.
She would have loved it.

@LittleDandelionClock not everyone agrees with the actual colour of odd colour names....

So that it's not lost in translation, what me and other posters were saying is: if it is a bright hue maybe not, if it's a dark hue then it's fine

The person who has died, would probably not wan't you to wear black garments.

It is cultural. In our culture you go as you are as they're held at short notice so jeans and gym kit is as fine as black. I usually just wear whatever I'm wearing that day with a coat as it's cold at the burial

@2bazookas

Nope. For at least the last 20- 30 years, I have not been to a single funeral where black clothes were a majority. Even close family of the dead, rarely wear black.

Many if not most funerals I've attended have been " Family requests do NOT wear black" "Family requests please wear bright colours".

Yes, this! And what really annoyed me with my grandads funeral was people not adhering to our wishes of not wearing black. That was disrespectful!

To be honest at my Dad's funeral I wouldn't have cared if people had turned up in pj's the important thing was people being there.

I agree with pp black isnt worn as much as it used to be

Dark and muted colours for respect.

This is a controversial point of view, but I dislike when people make requests for how people are to dress and behave at their funeral. The funeral is for those left behind.

I don't think it matters anymore.
Here in Italy people don't even wear smart clothes for a funeral. Maybe because they are held immediately after the death and close relatives will have stayed up all night at the "wake" beforehand. I was surprised the first few I went to to see close family members in blue jeans and scruffy anoraks. DP was similarly shocked that I was shocked that people hadn't "dressed up". He said it's a funeral not a party.

I agree just dark/muted clothes are all that's needed nowadays (unless the family have said otherwise).

My own funeral clothes (sadly I've reached an age where I go to a lot of them) are a dark green or dark blue knee length dress that I wear with a black jacket or navy coat dependent on the weather.

I've been to some funerals where younger women have done their best and worn what was presumably their only black outfit - short, tight dresses of the sort you'd wear to a club and they were definitely UNsuitable. At my dads funeral , many years ago, my sister did the same thing. She only had one black outfit, a very short mini skirt with a beaded fringe round the hem and a matching tank top. She looked lovely but it really was a bit too revealing for a funeral.

We all wore dark colours to my DM funeral DS wore his School Uniform . I think any dark shades are fine .

I'd wear grey or navy or black or any dark colour....and I'd be smart !

Any smart, not bright outfit will do.

Purple has always been a funereal colour and burgundy quite close to that.

I conduct funerals and so probably attend more than most. I do not expect to see most people wearing black and I don't think bright colours are inappropriate especialy when young peoples funerals are concerned.
On the otherhand I think taking the trouble to dress smartly is a mark of ones respect for the person whose funeral it is and there family
I frequently observe people, even family members, who have made no effort and come in T-shirts, Jeans, Casual Jackets and even track suits. This is by no means confind to the younger generation.
Most people would not dress for a wedding that way and showing respect at funeral is just as important. T

My DC have worn school uniform to funerals as it is their only formal wear. I wouldn't have considered buying suits or formal trousers for a one off occasion. Having said that I have seen DC in school uniform at weddings and I haven't imposed that on mine.

@NotReallyTheVicar that's a good point. My dad is a minister and does a lot of funerals. He has also said similar. He would not choose to wear a dog collar himself or typical minister atire but some people expect to see that so he does.

@mag2305

I just remembered that I actually wore flip flops and a bright short skirt to my nans funeral. It was a hot, summers day. It was my choice and not at all disrespectful in my opinion. In actual fact, I know my nan would have said, 'you look lovely dear'.

I do wonder if black and dark colours at funerals is an older generation thing that will gradually (and hopefully) change.

I think that people made the effort to turn up is far more important than what people are wearing.