..to think you wear black to a funeral?

[NotLikeTheOthers]

Just that really. You wear black to a funeral, unless the family have requested otherwise, don't you? DM doesn't like wearing black and is going to wear a burgundy outfit. Is that viewed as disrespectful? I feel like mostly black with a muted colour might be ok, but not no black. I don't go to lots of funerals though so need to know what the done thing is please!

As others have said I think burgundy sounds fine. I usually go monochrome black/navy/white and smart-ish. At my sister's funeral people generally wore dark trousers/skirt and smart top, apart from one of my closest friends who turned up in a bright green floral dress and really stood out. No idea why she made that choice!

I think any dark colour is suitable, black/navy/grey etc unless u have specifically been asked to wear bright colours. I wouldn’t worry too much the bereaved family won’t notice ! I swear someone could have wore fancy dress to my fathers funeral n I don’t even think I would have noticed ! X

I wore black trousers & a dark grey top to my DGM's funeral, I agree that as long as it's muted & not bright there's less emphasis on black these days.

A lot also depends on the deceased - I regularly do ones where the man was a huge football/rugby fan and everyone turns up in his team's colours, either via replica shirts or just an item of clothing in that colour. It always looks amazing from the front and in my opinion making those sort of efforts is a wonderful tribute.

I think this is lovely. I think DH would love it if we all wore his team's colours at his 😁

@Burnerphone21 children probably wear school uniform as it is their smartest set of clothes. Many people can’t afford to buy something specifically for a funeral especially for a child who will grow out of it before needed again, and if the alternative would be jeans or joggers they go with school uniform

Enh, for my grandad, funerals meant long pants and one of his darker Hawaiian shirts, instead of shorts and a brighter one.

That said, the point is to smarten up (if you own clothes to smarten up), perhaps wear dark colors (if you own them), if you can’t afford something new, that’s fine. The dead don’t judge, and just wear the best you’ve got - NEVER let not having the “right” clothes stop you from going to the funeral of someone you loved.

I'm surprised to see these answers. Every funeral I've been to people have only worn black, except one where they specifically asked attendees to wear bright colours. Not saying it's right or wrong, just surprised to see so many saying not black. I agree with the suggestion of think what the person would have wanted. A lot of my older relatives would have been horrified to see coloured clothes at their funeral!

I don't give a rat's ass what people wear at funerals unless the next of kin specifically request something.
I'd like people to wear whatever they want at mine. A lot of my friends go in for pale, bright or deep colours, and I'd much rather they turned up looking like themselves than looking stuffed into a black outfit they wouldn't normally dream of wearing.

@SudokuWillNotSaveYou

Enh, for my grandad, funerals meant long pants and one of his darker Hawaiian shirts, instead of shorts and a brighter one.

That said, the point is to smarten up (if you own clothes to smarten up), perhaps wear dark colors (if you own them), if you can’t afford something new, that’s fine. The dead don’t judge, and just wear the best you’ve got - NEVER let not having the “right” clothes stop you from going to the funeral of someone you loved.

Love your grandad and his Hawaiian shirts

@Burnerphone21

School uniform??? Why??

I don't think it matters what you wear to a funeral I think it's about taking the time to attend and support

Because traditional school uniforms tend to be dark colours and smart. Probably less so these days when so many primary schools wear a bright jumper and polo.

I think it depends where you are. In the UK it's becoming increasingly normal to wear colours other than black as long as they are sombre. Burgundy would be absolutely fine. For my relatives in Italy OTOH, black is still very much the done thing.

I think the black tradition is slowly dying out. The only funerals I've been to where everyone wore black was for elderly people. Recent funerals I've attended for younger (think 30s/40s) people, we've been asked just to wear bright colours or basically whatever we want. And the only ones still in smart black attire were all over 60ish

School uniform??? Why??
I remember wearing school uniform to funerals as a child. It was the only smart clothing we owned. We had a couple of outfits each plus uniform.

I think any dark colour is fine.

I have never worn black to a funeral, not even my own father's. I wear muted colours though. to my uncle´s last year I wore a beige and black dress and beige shoes. I wouldn´t wear bright red unless requested.

Sorry for your loss. Leave your mum to wear the burgandy outfit. I wouldn't turn up in a canary yellow jumpsuit but any darker shade is fine. I have 2 'funeral' dresses. They weren't bought as such but we lost a few close relatives in the space of about 3 years so I wore the dresses to their funerals. One was black and grey. The other was navy with flowers in shades of burgandy, pink and cream. I wore burgandy shoes with that one. I still have them but hopefully won't have cause to wear them again for some time, or ever again as I'm sure they'll go out of style eventually.

I think there's a bit of variation - where I am people just wear something respectable and not too bright. So for my dad's funeral I wore a petrol blue dress, black tights and navy coat, my sister wore a black knit dress and camel coat and my mum wore brown trousers and a brown check blazer.

But from reading on here, it seems some circles in England in particular are still strictly all black.

My parents (late 80s) go to a LOT of funerals. When this came up in conversation a few years ago, my mum told me very firmly that nowadays people didn't all wear black for funerals, thatwasold-fashioned. I was taken aback, but bow to her superior knowledge here.

I wore a tasteful patterned dress to my mum’s funeral, with a matching cardigan, which I know mum would have loved but never got chance to see. Mum wore bright colours all her life and that was how I wanted to remember her (we buried her in her favourite sparkly top). Didn’t specify a dress code as I was just happy that people wanted to come and pay their respects, I was pleased to see them and didn’t care what they wore (and neither would she have cared). I wasn’t about to tell my sibling who flew halfway round the world to be there that they were wearing the wrong colour clothes!

I think nowadays all black has been superceded by smart and sober, so I can see burgundy working.

Sadly I've been to two funerals in the last year and just wore dark smart clothes for each. The other guests were exactly the same, even the oldest attendees.

I don't own an entirely black outfit so would have had to buy something new.

Tends to depend on the age of the person who has died.

I've been to funerals of elderly people where the attire is generally dark colours: black, grey and navy. Polished shoes, ties, neat hair.

And I've been to funerals of a teenager where everyone wore "normal" clothes in a variety of colours as there wasn't a theme as such.

I think all of the old rules about funeral etiquette are changing. First, people are generally grateful if you have made the effort to attend. And as long as you look neat and clean and wear something that is appropriate then that's fine. It's usually the close relatives of the deceased who tend to wear black.

I could not care less what people wear for funerals, the fact that they bothered to turn up would be enough.

If anyone turns up for mine they can wear what they want.

Clothes don't have to be black for funerals these days, a dear friend lost her DH and wore a trouser suit in the (bright ) colour of his favourite football team.

All the attendees were also asked to try and wear something picking up the same colour.

The only place where everyone goes full-on black these days seems to be on EastEnders!

I wore black and grey to the funeral I attended on Tuesday. Black, grey, white, navy for the women for the most part, and black, grey, navy suits for the men.

I don't have any black clothes except for jeans and I wouldn't go out and buy something special. I would just wear muted colours.

Muted, yes, but not necessarily black. Personally, I wouldn't give a damn what people wore though. I'd just be grateful they cared enough to turn up.