AIBU to say he'll need to sort this?

[PorkNPickle]

DH forgot until yesterday that DSD's break up for half term tomorrow and therefore are off school Friday (they stay with us every Wednesday Thursday Friday or Thursday Friday Saturday alternate weeks).

I don't have a school aged child so am not really with it when it comes to specific dates regarding school holidays so didn't realise myself either.

I happen to be off work this Friday because I am going out with two friends and their DC that I haven't seen in a while. Our DC are all pre school aged and we have booked tickets to a children's Halloween event.

My husband hasn't arranged work for Friday and is now complaining that he'll have to take unpaid parental leave and keeps asking me why I can't just take DSDs with me and he's sure they'll enjoy it as well (they are quite a bit older at 8 & 11).

Anyway, I've told him no and have said that we've booked tickets anyway so can't now.

I actually could book more tickets, there are some left on the website. But I was really looking forward to spending some time with some old friends and our DC who are all much younger. The day is quite toddler focused and having two older DCs there who'll likely be bored and wanting to leave would change the dynamic too much.

We had our Jubilee Day in September so the children came in a day later.

@Triffid1 how could Jubilee day be an inset day? Do you just mean day off? Staff get the Jubilee day too

[quote Tailendofsummer]@Triffid1 how could Jubilee day be an inset day? Do you just mean day off? Staff get the Jubilee day too [/quote]
Good point. I may be using the wrong terminology. But we have definitely got an extra day, for the queen's jubilee, now, in October 2021. In the case of the schools within a few KM of my house, it's all today ahead of the actual half term starting on Monday. (I assume the head teachers get together and discuss this stuff!?) Of course, when the jubilee actually rolls round, I can see this being an issue!

It's not an inset day.

It's an extra bank holiday for children and staff.
Because the actual bank holiday falls in May half term.

So it's an extra day of holiday, at short notice for everyone

79% of us agree with you OP.

Yanbu. He needs to take responsibility. It is unfair for people to complain you are mean. You didn’t forget. And, he can take leave to look after them. It’s not like he will be out of the country. He does want to be inconvenienced so is trying to persuade you to step up.

To the posters saying the OP is mean, isn't it mean of the father to fob-off his kids when they have come to spend time with him? Isn't it mean for him to expect the OP to pick up the pieces following his mistake and change the dynamic of the day she had planned? He can take an unpaid day off work and it really won't be the end of the world. Women have to take unplanned leave all the time when unexpected caring responsibilities crop-up and nobody bats an eyelid at their predicament. Enjoy your day out, OP.

Of course, when the jubilee actually rolls round, I can see this being an issue!

Why’s that?

I think your DH should sort this and no you shouldn't change your plans. Maybe if it was just your going but taking them will inconvenience your friends as well.

I do think that men need to feel the full force of their mistakes in order not to repeat them. My H has had to learn this the hard way but previously when I'd rescued him there was no incentive not to repeat it.

@Bonnytoon

To the posters saying the OP is mean, isn't it mean of the father to fob-off his kids when they have come to spend time with him? Isn't it mean for him to expect the OP to pick up the pieces following his mistake and change the dynamic of the day she had planned? He can take an unpaid day off work and it really won't be the end of the world. Women have to take unplanned leave all the time when unexpected caring responsibilities crop-up and nobody bats an eyelid at their predicament. Enjoy your day out, OP.

Exactly. And there’s always this sort of assumption that ‘oh, step mum will do, she ticks the responsible adult box’, without any thought given to how the children may feel about being palmed off. They’ll probably be thinking ‘where is my dad?’

And I doubt the kids are overjoyed at the idea of spending all day with their stepmum and a bunch of toddlers.

But never mind how they feel. As long as their father isn’t inconvenienced, that’s the main thing

@PorkNPickle

Can I ask how it was resolved in the end? I know you don't have to update, but I guess we're all hoping that your DH stepped in so that your young child focused activity day out with younger DCs and friends & their young DCs didn't get overtaken.