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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have left them outside for 10 minutes

488 replies

Notoday · 20/10/2021 15:29

I'm a few days away from having a cesarian. I'm having to take some suppressant medication that makes me poorly, so that's fun. I've spent the last week between the bed and the bathroom.

My partner who lives with me went to collect his kids from school and bring them here but he didn't take his keys with him as usual thus leaving the door unlocked.

Naturally if I'm stuck on the toilet or vomiting into a bowl I'm not going to want to leave my door unlocked as I live on a main road, so I locked it until he gets back.

Typically they arrive back when I'm stuck in the bathroom. I couldn't do much about that unfortunately so they had to wait 10 minutes or so until I was able to go and let them in.

DP comes in doing a silly dance saying how much he's bursting for a wee and his youngest DC is majorly pissed off about having to wait outside for so long.

WIBU to have locked the door and made them wait as opposed to leaving the toilet to open the door? Confused

OP posts:
Mydogmylife · 20/10/2021 18:59

Surely whether you or I lock our doors is actually irrelevant ? ( always a locked door here though) OP does lock her door, always has and her partner knows that. Forgetting his keys seems to be a habit, and why he can't just remember like a grown up is beyond me. Whether the op was suffering in the loo or whatever shouldn't matter a jot - he should just bloody well remember his key - he's not a toddler

BoredZelda · 20/10/2021 19:03

No it's his father who despite me asking him 100 times, never takes his keys with him.

Yeah this all sounds a bit deliberate.

The place can’t be that crime ridden and dangerous if your partner feels able to leave the door unlocked when he pops out for ten minutes.

diddl · 20/10/2021 19:04

When you're just post op or feeding/changing/bathing the baby you're not just going to be able to stop & let him in!

whynotwhatknot · 20/10/2021 19:05

And no i wouldnt leave my door unlocked in catford

fumfspos · 20/10/2021 19:05

YANBU.
And all these people saying why did you leave the door unlocked obviously live in a different world.
I've never lived anywhere where it was safe to leave the door unlocked, even for 10 minutes while shitting.
Family members (3 different lots) all had things stolen by opportunist thieves just trying the door while the occupants were somewhere else in the house.
More than one set of neighbours came downstairs to find someone in their kitchen during the day because doors had been left unlocked.

Those posters having a go at the OP for locking the door should remember that not everyone lives in a nice area where you can leave doors open willy nilly.

DP should take his keys with him. Why the hell can't he do that?

woodhill · 20/10/2021 19:07

He doesn't sound very mature, take a key.

MimiDaisy11 · 20/10/2021 19:07

Surely whether you or I lock our doors is actually irrelevant ?

Yes! But that would just get in the way of argumentative people.

woodhill · 20/10/2021 19:08

I would find it irritating even if I wasn't in the loo. Does he live with you?

turnabouttime · 20/10/2021 19:08

@kateg27

If my partner was at home I wouldn't take my house keys. Why would I? But then again I wouldn't lock the door and leave them outside either but I tend to think of others rather than just myself.
Tit
whistleryukon · 20/10/2021 19:09

Post this again in a year, OP, and change DSS to DS. Watch the difference in some replies ☺️

turnabouttime · 20/10/2021 19:09

@user1471541711

Sounds like you’ve already made up your mind that you’re not unreasonable. He should have taken his keys. I would have tried to let them in.
How precisely would you have tried to let them in when you are shitting lava out of your arse?
Lulu2021 · 20/10/2021 19:11

@whistleryukon

Post this again in a year, OP, and change DSS to DS. Watch the difference in some replies ☺️
So true Grin
PeskyRooks · 20/10/2021 19:12

He should've taken his key.
10 minutes is not long to wait.
I doubt he really needed a wee that was just to make a point.
12 year olds are stroppy.
Maybe you should pop a door key on a shoelace for him to wear round his neck and while you're at it thread his mittens on a string through the sleeves of his coat bless him.

hotmeatymilk · 20/10/2021 19:14

How precisely would you have tried to let them in when you are shitting lava out of your arse?
Gives a new meaning to “stair runner”

Original poster
Notoday · 20/10/2021 19:16

@BoredZelda

No it's his father who despite me asking him 100 times, never takes his keys with him.

Yeah this all sounds a bit deliberate.

The place can’t be that crime ridden and dangerous if your partner feels able to leave the door unlocked when he pops out for ten minutes.

You think I deliberately locked the door or that I deliberately chose to have diarreah?

If the former then yes of courde I deliberately locked the door, because I always do, because I don't fancy being burgled again or having some crackhead stroll into my home.

What's the problem? What should I have done?

OP posts:
Original poster
Notoday · 20/10/2021 19:16

@BoredZelda

No it's his father who despite me asking him 100 times, never takes his keys with him.

Yeah this all sounds a bit deliberate.

The place can’t be that crime ridden and dangerous if your partner feels able to leave the door unlocked when he pops out for ten minutes.

Plus he didn't just pop out for 10 minutes he was gone for almost an hour Hmm
OP posts:
Original poster
Notoday · 20/10/2021 19:18

@whistleryukon

Post this again in a year, OP, and change DSS to DS. Watch the difference in some replies ☺️
Grin
OP posts:
Livelovebehappy · 20/10/2021 19:23

You acknowledge your DH behaves like an arse.
You sound like you don’t have a great relationship with dss (with the digs here and there)
You sound gleeful that they were left outside (lots of smiley faces and ‘lols’)
You’re having his baby, despite the above.

sounds like match made in heaven......

BarbaraofSeville · 20/10/2021 19:25

You don't have to live in a rough area to be at risk of walk in burglaries through unlocked doors.

I know several people who live in MN approved north Leeds suburbs who have lost cars, phones, laptops, wallets, handbags etc because thieves just walk in and pick up whatever's lying around.

It's well known that most women go straight to the toilet when entering their home so thieves follow lone women home from the supermarket in the day time because they know they have a good chance of having at least a couple of undisturbed minutes to pick up handbags, car keys etc.

I live in a fairly quiet area but the door is always locked when I'm in, or we have twisty latches which stop anyone walking in, but mean we can get out without a key, if we're both in we use these. Our local police are regularly issuing 'don't leave the door unlocked when you're in advice'.

But of course the OP is not being unreasonable to lock the door, and her DP is being unreasonable to not take a key. Maybe he'll remember from now on, the OP is not his door butler.

BoredZelda · 20/10/2021 19:26

What's the problem? What should I have done?

You should have told him you were going to lock the door when he left. Not conveniently had a reason to leave him outside to teach him a lesson.

RobertsRadio · 20/10/2021 19:27

Your partner needs to grow up, I've been carrying my own door keys since the age of 17, it's called being an adult, as a pp pointed out. You need to put your DP and DSS right in no uncertain terms that it is not the job of the resident, nine months pregnant and sick female to be responsible for them both getting themselves in and out of a house that they both live in. You need to nip that sense of entitlement in those males in the bud now.

Original poster
Notoday · 20/10/2021 19:27

@Livelovebehappy

You acknowledge your DH behaves like an arse. You sound like you don’t have a great relationship with dss (with the digs here and there) You sound gleeful that they were left outside (lots of smiley faces and ‘lols’) You’re having his baby, despite the above.

sounds like match made in heaven......

Can you copy and paste me the digs I've made "here and there"?
OP posts:
wigglerose · 20/10/2021 19:29

Someone in our village was the victim of an opportunistic burglary when they left their door unlocked. I never leave ours unlocked. And yes, I've been locked out as a result.

romdowa · 20/10/2021 19:29

The impending full moon seems to be having an effect here in mn this evening. Never seen so many people get wound up about the locking of a door 🙄

Original poster
Notoday · 20/10/2021 19:29

@BoredZelda

What's the problem? What should I have done?

You should have told him you were going to lock the door when he left. Not conveniently had a reason to leave him outside to teach him a lesson.

The best indicator of the future is the past.

I always lock the door. It's the done thing. He shouldn't have expected anything else.

OP posts: