Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 9 10 11 ··· 19 20

Original poster

To have left them outside for 10 minutes

488 replies

Notoday · 20/10/2021 15:29

I'm a few days away from having a cesarian. I'm having to take some suppressant medication that makes me poorly, so that's fun. I've spent the last week between the bed and the bathroom.

My partner who lives with me went to collect his kids from school and bring them here but he didn't take his keys with him as usual thus leaving the door unlocked.

Naturally if I'm stuck on the toilet or vomiting into a bowl I'm not going to want to leave my door unlocked as I live on a main road, so I locked it until he gets back.

Typically they arrive back when I'm stuck in the bathroom. I couldn't do much about that unfortunately so they had to wait 10 minutes or so until I was able to go and let them in.

DP comes in doing a silly dance saying how much he's bursting for a wee and his youngest DC is majorly pissed off about having to wait outside for so long.

WIBU to have locked the door and made them wait as opposed to leaving the toilet to open the door?

OP posts:

Monkeymilkshake · 20/10/2021 19:36

I think you’re getting a hard time here! I mean who shits with their front door open! Honestly!!

RedHelenB · 20/10/2021 19:38

@Reallyimeanreally2022

You’re ill You knew he’d forgotten his keys

You could have left unlocked for ten minutes. You know it

This

Youseethethingis · 20/10/2021 19:39

Ah well OP at least you can now enjoy the "convenience" of your vomiting and diarrhoea instead of feeling miserable about it

Mydogmylife · 20/10/2021 19:39

@BoredZelda

What's the problem? What should I have done?

You should have told him you were going to lock the door when he left. Not conveniently had a reason to leave him outside to teach him a lesson.

But op says she always locks the door? Should he need reminding every time he goes out?

toocold54 · 20/10/2021 19:40

Plus he didn't just pop out for 10 minutes he was gone for almost an hour

YANBU I lock my door all of the time and waiting 10mins isn’t the end of the world.
However I get when you’re desperate for a wee you can sometimes get snappy but I would have apologised afterwards if I did say something rude.

I’m not sure why you’ve posted on AIBU though if you’re adamant you’re not BU.

woodhill · 20/10/2021 19:40

He sounds like a man child.

Lulu2021 · 20/10/2021 19:41

Can you copy and paste me the digs I've made "here and there"?

You'll be waiting a while I suspect, OP......

Original poster

Notoday · 20/10/2021 19:43

You could have left unlocked for ten minutes. You know it

Which "ten minutes" out of the (almost) 60 minutes he was gone?

OP posts:

mayblossominapril · 20/10/2021 19:44

Where you live you were right to lock the door. You clearly live in an area where a locked door is required he knows that so should have taken his keys. He was also gone about an hour. It was reasonable to lock the door without being ill.
If you’d have lived in an area where you usually leave the door unlocked, as I do, it would have been a bit unreasonable to have locked it.

Lulu2021 · 20/10/2021 19:44

You should have told him you were going to lock the door when he left.

Do people really have this conversation with their man child partners? I'm just trying to picture this with my DP...

Him: "Right, I'm off"
Me: "ok, see you later ..... wait! Before you go, I am going to be locking the door so do you have your key?"

Erm, no.

You know what it reminds me of? The conversation I have to have with my teenager ffs. Not an adult.

woodhill · 20/10/2021 19:47

My front door is always locked.

I used to get cross when my dc/dh didn't double lock front door. It could be closed but not securely locked

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 20/10/2021 19:50

The pregnancy and sickness are irrelevant in my opinion, so the PP's banging on about OP being precious/special are ridiculous.

He's a grownup, he has keys, he left the house (for an hour) he should've taken his keys . It's that simple. He definitely shouldn't have done a song and dance over being locked out when it's his own damn fault.

OP you should swap your door for one of those that lock automatically when shut. It could be fun .

Lulu2021 · 20/10/2021 19:54

I’m not sure why you’ve posted on AIBU though if you’re adamant you’re not BU.

I have never - and will never - understand this statement. You do not have to believe that you are being unreasonable in order to ask for others opinions on it. You might be 98% sure you're entirely reasonable, and still post here. Many posters seem to think that the only possible outcome of these threads is that the OP submits to the notion that they were unreasonable. It's not.

Sweetpeasaremadeofcheese · 20/10/2021 19:55

to the people not understanding why OP would lock her door while she is home. Surely she'd love a bit of hand to hand combat with a burglar. Especially at 9 months pregnant with her pants down. An opportunistic thief could have watched her DP walk out the door and take his chance.

WhereIsMumHiding3 · 20/10/2021 19:56

Yanbu OP
Your DP and his son were in the ring and rude with it attempting to blame you

Your DP will start remembering to take his keys after a few times of being left outside for 10+ minutes. Perfectly ok to respond with "Take your keys then... You're an adult , it's your doing " every time he complains and reply to his son "Well Dad needs to take his keys and then you won't be waiting outside"

Of course you couldn't answer the door - mid diarrhoea- or even mid head over the toilet vomiting. Or even if maybe in pain and laying down.... You don't need this when heavily pg & ill.

What about later when you're feeding or mid changing baby or asleep & unable to hear doorbell? After baby is born, I bet you'll have times of being "dead to the world" when you do get any snipetts of sleep in those early months.

Im disabled and fairly deaf (even with hearing aids in, I can't hear doorbell over music or cooking sounds) so anyone in my family that forgets their keys will easily be waiting 20mins or much longer for me to get to the door. Luckily my family aren't entitled twonks like your DP is, they know it'd be their fault for leaving their keys behind.

Generally it's unwise to leave front doors unlocked / openable from outside even when in the house. I wonder if people read their house insurance small print ? As mine states theft claims would be invalid if doors are unlocked or window open in an unoccupied room (no one in it at the time) - nothing stolen in an opportunistic theft like that would be covered.

I now live in a relatively low crime area & many houses here have drives so even with frontdoors not directly on the road we still have opportunistic burglaries - so my front door is always double locked when in the house as well as when going out. Regardless of who may be in. Not even for 10mins nor the hour that OP's DP was out for.

Lulu2021 · 20/10/2021 19:59

Surely she'd love a bit of hand to hand combat with a burglar. Especially at 9 months pregnant with her pants down.

😂😂😂

WhereIsMumHiding3 · 20/10/2021 20:05

Lordy BoredZelda
That would seem to be a really strange conversation to have with an adult who knows it's a high crime area... "So dear, before you go out do remember I will be locking the door which you already know I do every time- do make sure you have your keys"

She's not his Mum and he's not 8.

What next ? Will the adult require reminders to go to the loo before he leaves?!

NormanStangerson · 20/10/2021 20:06

@BoredZelda

No it's his father who despite me asking him 100 times, never takes his keys with him.

Yeah this all sounds a bit deliberate.

The place can’t be that crime ridden and dangerous if your partner feels able to leave the door unlocked when he pops out for ten minutes.

So because he’s MAN his decision is deliberate and cannot be questioned?

Despite the fact that it’s OP’s house, she’s already been burgled, she lives in a notorious area….he’s MAN?! JFC.

BlackeyedSusan · 20/10/2021 20:08

he should have taken his keys. You should not be leaving the door unlocked.

Original poster

Notoday · 20/10/2021 20:11

I've had to have a laug about these posters who insist I'm unreasonable for not leaving the door unlocked, even more so the ones who suggested I should have left the toilet mid-flow to let them in.

This is peak mumsnet on the AIBU board. Golden.

OP posts:

thevassal · 20/10/2021 20:14

I don't get all these people who 'don't take their keys?' Am I living in a parallel universe where keys are a foot long and weigh two ton? I have one for car which has a few fobs on it and one that's just a door key. Anytime I'm going anywhere, regardless of if anyone else is in the house, I take one of them. It fits in my pocket (or handbag, or down my bra if I don't have anything else!) doesn't weigh anything and causes me no inconvenience at all to pick up as I'm going out, and means I don't have to worry if anyone else in the house needs to go out, feels ill, goes to sleep, locks themselves out, etc.etc. Seriously why not just take them?

I also keep my front door locked at all times whether I am inside or out of the house - only unlock it when someone leaves and they lock it straight behind them. I don't live in a high crime area, this is just what I (and pretty much everyone I know well enough to know about their door locking habits) do as standard!

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 20/10/2021 20:16

@Notoday

I've had to have a laug about these posters who insist I'm unreasonable for not leaving the door unlocked, even more so the ones who suggested I should have left the toilet mid-flow to let them in.

This is peak mumsnet on the AIBU board. Golden.

Why haven't you invented portals yet op? How unreasonable and selfish of you.

WhereIsMumHiding3 · 20/10/2021 20:18

There was a thread a few months ago OP, about a woman with a lodger who kept going out without his keys and expecting the OP to let him in when he returned.

Almost unanimous on that thread that the lodger should be given notice to leave if as an adult he couldn't remember to take his house keys with him. That she wasn't his Mum. And that OP wasn't stuck in the loo at the time with D&V and heavily pregnant. She was just fed up of having to unlock the door to an adult who has his own keys but was to scatty and self important to take them

Goodness how it all turns on a tuppence

NormanStangerson · 20/10/2021 20:28

@Notoday

I've had to have a laug about these posters who insist I'm unreasonable for not leaving the door unlocked, even more so the ones who suggested I should have left the toilet mid-flow to let them in.

This is peak mumsnet on the AIBU board. Golden.

I don’t know what is going on here at the moment. It’s always been a bit of a cesspit of nastiness but it would always be interspersed among supportive or useful comments. It’s now mainly just people being total arseholes and the rest of us trying to defend the OP and highlight the shitty verbal attacks and bullying. 🤷🏼‍♀️

hotmeatymilk · 20/10/2021 20:28

It's well known that most women go straight to the toilet when entering their home
Is it? Do they? I’m on the OP’s side here but I also now want a poll on these most women and their straight-to-loo behaviour and also on how well-known it is. How do the thieves know this and I don’t!!!

Flip

1 2 ··· 9 10 11 ··· 19 20