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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have left them outside for 10 minutes

488 replies

Notoday · 20/10/2021 15:29

I'm a few days away from having a cesarian. I'm having to take some suppressant medication that makes me poorly, so that's fun. I've spent the last week between the bed and the bathroom.

My partner who lives with me went to collect his kids from school and bring them here but he didn't take his keys with him as usual thus leaving the door unlocked.

Naturally if I'm stuck on the toilet or vomiting into a bowl I'm not going to want to leave my door unlocked as I live on a main road, so I locked it until he gets back.

Typically they arrive back when I'm stuck in the bathroom. I couldn't do much about that unfortunately so they had to wait 10 minutes or so until I was able to go and let them in.

DP comes in doing a silly dance saying how much he's bursting for a wee and his youngest DC is majorly pissed off about having to wait outside for so long.

WIBU to have locked the door and made them wait as opposed to leaving the toilet to open the door? Confused

OP posts:
NormanStangerson · 20/10/2021 18:28

[quote gindreams]@kateg27 well that isn't true is it as you are quite clearly utterly ghastly

Same as @Bluntness100 just why post something purely to be unkind ?[/quote]
They pride themselves on it. They portray themselves as strong, unapologetic women, but actually they’re just spiteful and I’m guessing, not as happy and successful as they like to portray. Bluntness especially sees themselves as the ‘old guard’ I suspect. But unless she’s multiple people, she spends a frightening amount of time here.

DameAlyson · 20/10/2021 18:29

If my partner was at home I wouldn't take my house keys. Why would I?

Because your partner might have better things to do than wait around to let you in?

diddl · 20/10/2021 18:30

@Notoday

He certainly should have taken his keys. It's a theme. I love how his son has concluded that I'm the problem though Grin
I hope (but sadly doubt) that your partner has put his son right.
NoddyMcdoddy · 20/10/2021 18:31

This is such a baffling thread. Amazing the number of posters who think it’s unacceptable to leave a grown man and a 12 year waiting 10 mins and the cause of such wait was the grown man didn’t take his keys and the heavily pregnant woman they were waiting to open the door was evacuating her bowels in the toilet.

And surely said grown man could have had a piss in the ditch / down an alleyway like most men do when they are bursting.

NoddyMcdoddy · 20/10/2021 18:34

**If my partner was at home I wouldn't take my house keys. Why would I?

What if your partner had to leave unexpectedly? Would your partner inconvenience themselves waiting for your return or just leave the door unlocked ?

Surely the most common sense approach is bring your own key when you leave.

FatBettyintheCoop · 20/10/2021 18:36

@Morgan12

Did you think someone would walk into your house whilst you were in the bathroom?

I mean he should have taken the keys yes but I think you're being rather theatrical with the door needing to be locked.

Er yes, obviously!

My friend lived in a supposedly naice area and she was in the kitchen with her toddler and a man walked straight in via the unlocked front door and straight into their front living room and started to rummage around.

She realised and started screaming and a male neighbour heard her and ran round and chased the would be thief off down the street.

The police caught him a little later as he’d continued trying lots of doors in the local neighbourhood.

Lulu2021 · 20/10/2021 18:36

Op has been kind about his kid, but I’m happy to say this 12 yo boy sounds like a little shit and that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Agreed

NeverDropYourMooncup · 20/10/2021 18:39

@Morgan12

Did you think someone would walk into your house whilst you were in the bathroom?

I mean he should have taken the keys yes but I think you're being rather theatrical with the door needing to be locked.

As I've also lived a few miles away from the OP's location - yes, absolutely.

People will walk up to door and try the handle, looking for all the world as though they have every right to be there - at which point there could be car keys, handbags, phones, laptops within a couple of steps. DP caught a few trying the handle whilst I've been at work over the years.

Clandestin · 20/10/2021 18:40

@hotmeatymilk

Haven’t RTFT (lock me out without a key, I deserve it!) but have read the OP’s posts and nowhere does she talk about a constant 10-15 minute stream of diarrhoea. Where are you getting this from other than your vivid and disgusting imagination?

But if my bum were on fire and I was days away from birth I wouldn’t be stepping away from a loo and rushing downstairs either. And it’s not like it’s cold today (also in the shithole that’s Catford so can pinpoint OP’s weather with some accuracy).

YANBU, OP. But I’d upgrade to a lock that locks the door automatically before the birth – if your partner is in the habit of stepping out leaving it unlocked you’re not going to want to get up and lock it if you’re trapped under a feedy snoozy baby or having a nap, etc.

I think that the bout of diarrhoea lasted a minimum of ten minutes is strongly implied byte fact that the OP says it was ten minutes from the moment her DP rang till she was able to get off the loo and go to let them in?
yesterdayisinthepast · 20/10/2021 18:40

I'm in Brixton and I don't even like my man leaving the door unlocked whilst he runs downstairs to take the bin out😂😂 Catford?? Forget it!

I'm also pregnant but pregnant or not, if you had to go then you had to go! 10mins is really not the end of the world and he could have taken his key with him.

I don't know why people are acting like you should have left the door unlocked especially how you're in Catford😭

girlmom21 · 20/10/2021 18:40

@Bluntness100

I think you need to speak to your doctor. Ten full mins of diarrhoea is deeply concerning, and presumably it was longer than ten mins as you were already in there when they arrived home

Have you explained to you doctor thay that’s what’s happening to you? That it’s ten to fifteen mins of constant diarrhoea?

Have you ever had diarrhoea? Especially when taking specific medication? It'll be a known side effect. Popping downstairs to open the front door mid-episode is not really recommended...
WhereYouLeftIt · 20/10/2021 18:41

@BurntO

Agreed that he needs to take his keys.

That aside I don’t think anyone else can comment on if you could have left the toilet or not. Thankfully I can’t say I have ever been in a situation where I couldn’t have paused to run downstairs and instead left people for ten whole minutes on the doorstep. But if you couldn’t leave, you couldn’t leave

Thankfully indeed. Personally, I have been on the toilet with a bucket on my knees exploding from both ends for 30 minutes plus before I dared crawl back to bed, never mind run downstairs. That was a fun couple of years.

10 minutes on the doorstep is hardly torture. But, it might serve to make him 'remember' his keys rather than treat OP as his personal doorman.

Original poster
Notoday · 20/10/2021 18:43

For those querying why I needed to spend 10 minutes on the toilet whilst i have diarreah. Have you ever had diarreah?

OP posts:
hotmeatymilk · 20/10/2021 18:43

I think that the bout of diarrhoea lasted a minimum of ten minutes is strongly implied byte fact that the OP says it was ten minutes from the moment her DP rang till she was able to get off the loo and go to let them in?
Ten minutes til you feel safe to get off the loo is not the same as Bluntness100’s charming vision of a 15-minute stream of the stuff, though. (Kudos to the poster who nailed it with “faux-concern” – bang on!) But debating the poo specifics is sort of irrelevant to the fact a grown man should take his bloody keys out with him.

22Giraffes · 20/10/2021 18:43

Yanbu at all OP, I live in London (other side of the river though!) and there is no way I'd leave my door unlocked. I don't know anyone that does. A thief can be in and out in under a minute and there are plenty of them around.

Ignore the people on here who just cannot fathom why you would possibly lock your door, they either live a charmed life or they just want to stick the boot in. Flowers

Unsure1983 · 20/10/2021 18:44

I think his child needs a talking to tbh.

AutumnLeafy · 20/10/2021 18:45

But debating the poo specifics is sort of irrelevant to the fact a grown man should take his bloody keys out with him. I agree, this thread got weird.

diddl · 20/10/2021 18:47

If you/your partner are happy to not take keys & wait for the other to come to the door that's fine.

Op has asked her OH to take his keys but he doesn't even though he knows that she prefers to lock the door.

What kind of man shows so little care that they would rather their partner feel unsafe or have to keep coming to unlock the door because they cba to take a key.

He's an utter shit imo.

starfishmummy · 20/10/2021 18:47

Diarrhoea can be sudden, explosive and sometimes uncontrollable, so yanbu. Given a choice of getting to the loo in a hurry while heavily pregnant or trotting off to open the door first,, I know what my choice would be.

InTheNightWeWillWish · 20/10/2021 18:49

I’m 34 weeks pregnant. DH left the house with me to help me wash my works vehicle which I’m handing back in before maternity leave. I didn’t take my keys with me. Whilst at the petrol station, DH decided to fill up and then wash our car. So I was sat on the drive for 20 mins because I’d forgotten my keys. As I’m 34 weeks pregnant, I obviously needed a wee by the time he came back. It’s still my fault for forgetting my keys. DH also needed the loo after washing two vehicles but as the pregnant lady I got priority on the bathroom, even though it was my fault for not taking my keys.

daisypond · 20/10/2021 18:49

YANBU. At mine, if you leave the house, you have to take keys with you. It’s impossible to open the door from the outside without a key. Everyone remembers, and those that have forgotten once - the DC when younger - only forget once, as you can’t get back in without a key. Even if there’s someone else in the house, they might not be able to open the door there and then - this is all normal.

CaptSkippy · 20/10/2021 18:51

@kateg27

If my partner was at home I wouldn't take my house keys. Why would I? But then again I wouldn't lock the door and leave them outside either but I tend to think of others rather than just myself.
Do leave your door unlocked when you are in bed or on the toilet? I don't. At these times the very last thing I want to happen is for strangers to come in.
whynotwhatknot · 20/10/2021 18:54

Why is everyone so argumentative lately

the sky is blue

no it bloody isnt!

Op hes a grown man he shuld take his keys if i was on the toilet no i wouldnt leave to let him in tough people can wait

NewlyGranny · 20/10/2021 18:56

I think given the fact that a grown-up forgot his key, it was odds-on someone else was going to be handed the blame and it couldn't be the kids, so... 🤷🏼‍♀️

But imagine you had left the house unlocked and an opportunity burglar had popped in. Wouldn't that have been your fault, too?

Why not ask him to stand at the front door and look at what would have been gone. And then ask him who is responsible for seeing he takes his keys with him on leaving the house. And then ask him, if he was mid-vomit or mid-poo session on the loo whether he would leave the bathroom to let you in if you were silly enough to go off without your keys.

"Silly daddy" is what everyone needs to hear here, I think, and a "Sorry," from him.

Also, if you've only the one loo, he would still have been waiting inside the house for you to finish, right?

YANBU. Your DH IBVU. Don't let him model disrespect for you to your DSC!

whynotwhatknot · 20/10/2021 18:57

I always say when i leave shall i take my keys if someone is in they mijght be busy or in the bath etc