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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have left them outside for 10 minutes

488 replies

Notoday · 20/10/2021 15:29

I'm a few days away from having a cesarian. I'm having to take some suppressant medication that makes me poorly, so that's fun. I've spent the last week between the bed and the bathroom.

My partner who lives with me went to collect his kids from school and bring them here but he didn't take his keys with him as usual thus leaving the door unlocked.

Naturally if I'm stuck on the toilet or vomiting into a bowl I'm not going to want to leave my door unlocked as I live on a main road, so I locked it until he gets back.

Typically they arrive back when I'm stuck in the bathroom. I couldn't do much about that unfortunately so they had to wait 10 minutes or so until I was able to go and let them in.

DP comes in doing a silly dance saying how much he's bursting for a wee and his youngest DC is majorly pissed off about having to wait outside for so long.

WIBU to have locked the door and made them wait as opposed to leaving the toilet to open the door? Confused

OP posts:
Lulu2021 · 20/10/2021 17:54

So many men apologists on here and those just relishing the chance to verbally attack a sick, pregnant woman from the anonymity Mumsnet affords them.

Absolutely agree.

Georgyporky · 20/10/2021 17:56

He is totally, 100% in the wrong.

Who goes out without taking their keys?

Who leaves their doors unlocked - regardless of where they live?

OP, I hope all goes well for you.

Alconleigh · 20/10/2021 17:58

I have never, and will never, understand adults who don't take their keys out with them. It's a failure of basic adulting.

neonjumper · 20/10/2021 17:58

You're getting a really hard time OP.

I lived in a similar area in London like you OP . There is no way I would leave my door unlocked . Someone stole my handbag during a summer when I had my garden patio doors open and I had gone upstairs to put my baby down for a nap . They had jumped over my garden wall and grabbed my bag.

Really shook me up . We also had someone use a device that pushes the latch back on a double glazed door if you haven't double locked it. ... apparently very common.

We live in a very low crime rate area in Hertfordshire now and we always lock the door.

I find it really bizarre that so many people don't take their keys with them when they go out even if there's someone at home. I find this inconsiderate because it's based on the assumption that your autonomy is more important than the person at home .

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 20/10/2021 17:58

Even if you live somewhere nice, thieves will visit the nice areas too because they guess you have nice stuff.

A couple of years ago there was a spate of burglaries in a very nice area, the police then went round trying front door handles and if they door was unlocked they opened it and shouted police. Told the home owners that lots of people had had things taken from the hall so handbags, keys to cars and taken the cars, phones on charge etc and to lock the doors especially if you are in.

I never understand why people would leave a door unlocked but then my parents' house had a pad handle so when you pulled the door shut you needed a key to get back in.

And OP YANBU, you forget the key you wait for the convenience of the person inside.

Lulu2021 · 20/10/2021 17:58

@Georgyporky

He is totally, 100% in the wrong.

Who goes out without taking their keys?

Who leaves their doors unlocked - regardless of where they live?

OP, I hope all goes well for you.

And who allows their 12 year old to have a shitty attitude with their heavily pregnant sick partner, for having to wait 10 fucking minutes?! That certainly wouldn't be going un addressed in this house let me tell you ...

Feedingthebirds1 · 20/10/2021 17:59

You could have left unlocked for ten minutes. You know it

He could have taken his keys He knows it. (But chooses not to bother.)

Pallisers · 20/10/2021 18:01

@kateg27

If my partner was at home I wouldn't take my house keys. Why would I? But then again I wouldn't lock the door and leave them outside either but I tend to think of others rather than just myself.
and have remarkable powers over your body. Could you share with the rest of us selfish lesser mortals how you stop diarrhoea mid-flow??
IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 20/10/2021 18:01

What attitude towards his children? Did I miss the post where the op said anything remotely horrible about his children?

Bluntness100 · 20/10/2021 18:04

I think you need to speak to your doctor. Ten full mins of diarrhoea is deeply concerning, and presumably it was longer than ten mins as you were already in there when they arrived home

Have you explained to you doctor thay that’s what’s happening to you? That it’s ten to fifteen mins of constant diarrhoea?

pelosi · 20/10/2021 18:04

@kateg27

If my partner was at home I wouldn't take my house keys. Why would I? But then again I wouldn't lock the door and leave them outside either but I tend to think of others rather than just myself.
Because your partner may need to go out unexpectedly?

You would rather OP risk being burgled than leave the door open for a selfish manchild?

How mean.

pelosi · 20/10/2021 18:05

@Bluntness100

I think you need to speak to your doctor. Ten full mins of diarrhoea is deeply concerning, and presumably it was longer than ten mins as you were already in there when they arrived home

Have you explained to you doctor thay that’s what’s happening to you? That it’s ten to fifteen mins of constant diarrhoea?

God people are really scraping the barrel today.

I apologise on their behalf, OP 🤣

AutumnLeafy · 20/10/2021 18:07

@Bluntness100

I think you need to speak to your doctor. Ten full mins of diarrhoea is deeply concerning, and presumably it was longer than ten mins as you were already in there when they arrived home

Have you explained to you doctor thay that’s what’s happening to you? That it’s ten to fifteen mins of constant diarrhoea?

Even if there is a break in it it can start up again with little warning.
gindreams · 20/10/2021 18:09

@kateg27 well that isn't true is it as you are quite clearly utterly ghastly

Same as @Bluntness100 just why post something purely to be unkind ?

Lulu2021 · 20/10/2021 18:11

@IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves

What attitude towards his children? Did I miss the post where the op said anything remotely horrible about his children?

No you didn't miss it. It's fictional and the result of pure projection.

tickledtiger · 20/10/2021 18:12

You don’t have to justify locking the door to your own home FFS.

They only had to wait ten minutes, I don’t see what the fuss is about.

rainbowunicorn · 20/10/2021 18:13

My god there really are so me nasty, bullying bitches on here. I imagine they behaved in the same way at school and just never grew up. What sad little lives they must have to be on here being downright nasty to a woman about to have a baby.
You should all be ashamed of yourselves. Nasty, horrible behaviour.

Pallisers · 20/10/2021 18:15

@Bluntness100

I think you need to speak to your doctor. Ten full mins of diarrhoea is deeply concerning, and presumably it was longer than ten mins as you were already in there when they arrived home

Have you explained to you doctor thay that’s what’s happening to you? That it’s ten to fifteen mins of constant diarrhoea?

OP: I'm worried because I spent 10 minutes on the loo with diarrhoea.

GP: I told you that was a side effect of the medicine

OP: I know but a randomer on the internet who knows EVERYTHING says 10 minutes on the loo is WAY too much.

GP: You meet fools everywhere OP.

tickledtiger · 20/10/2021 18:15

@Bluntness100

I think you need to speak to your doctor. Ten full mins of diarrhoea is deeply concerning, and presumably it was longer than ten mins as you were already in there when they arrived home

Have you explained to you doctor thay that’s what’s happening to you? That it’s ten to fifteen mins of constant diarrhoea?

If you have rip roaring diarrhoea it can be a bit stop start….
pelosi · 20/10/2021 18:18

@Peanutsandchilli

Did you tell him you were going to lock the door? You knew he had no keys, regardless. I'm not sure how being on the loo warrants needing to lock the front door.

Your attitude towards his children speaks volumes.

Op has been kind about his kid, but I’m happy to say this 12 yo boy sounds like a little shit and that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Scoobygang7 · 20/10/2021 18:19

@Reallyimeanreally2022

Seriously You live somewhere where leaving your door unlocked for 10 minutes presented a serious risk to an opportunistic thief trying to open your door?
@Reallyimeanreally2022 where I lived as a teen I went upstairs to change after school before a Drs appointment. Came down and someone in that ten minutes had been in and nicked my CD player. So I can quite believe and understand why op would lock the door. 25 years later I still lock the door even if I am in and I now live in the arse end of nowhere, but it's ingrained in me to lock up.
Mummyoflittledragon · 20/10/2021 18:25

@Youseethethingis

Did you tell him you were going to lock the door? OP always locks the door and has done since before he moved in. Why would today be different? You knew he had no keys, regardless He also knew he had no keys regardless and it's his problem/responsibility. I'm not sure how being on the loo warrants needing to lock the front door Because OP has been burgled before and knows full well anyone could come in and do or take anything and she would be powerless to stop them, what with being stuck on the toilet at 9 months pregnant.

Your attitude towards his children speaks volumes
His attitude towards a very ill, pregnant and vulnerable woman who is carrying his child and who he is supposed to love and care for speaks volumes.

HTH 🙄

Exactly. So many MCP apologists.

My dh would never go out and leave the door unlocked unless he told me. I’m physically vulnerable so must have a locked door to feel safe.

NormanStangerson · 20/10/2021 18:26

@Bluntness100

I think you need to speak to your doctor. Ten full mins of diarrhoea is deeply concerning, and presumably it was longer than ten mins as you were already in there when they arrived home

Have you explained to you doctor thay that’s what’s happening to you? That it’s ten to fifteen mins of constant diarrhoea?

I thought this thread was missing the oh-so-distinctive faux concern of @Bluntness100 🙄
hotmeatymilk · 20/10/2021 18:27

Haven’t RTFT (lock me out without a key, I deserve it!) but have read the OP’s posts and nowhere does she talk about a constant 10-15 minute stream of diarrhoea. Where are you getting this from other than your vivid and disgusting imagination?

But if my bum were on fire and I was days away from birth I wouldn’t be stepping away from a loo and rushing downstairs either. And it’s not like it’s cold today (also in the shithole that’s Catford so can pinpoint OP’s weather with some accuracy).

YANBU, OP. But I’d upgrade to a lock that locks the door automatically before the birth – if your partner is in the habit of stepping out leaving it unlocked you’re not going to want to get up and lock it if you’re trapped under a feedy snoozy baby or having a nap, etc.

diddl · 20/10/2021 18:27

You can't get in our house without a key.

If you forget it & there is no one in or they are otherwise engaged you have to wait.

If you are a self important twat who thinks that no one has anything better to do than answer the door to you then you might have to wait longer.