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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have left them outside for 10 minutes

488 replies

Notoday · 20/10/2021 15:29

I'm a few days away from having a cesarian. I'm having to take some suppressant medication that makes me poorly, so that's fun. I've spent the last week between the bed and the bathroom.

My partner who lives with me went to collect his kids from school and bring them here but he didn't take his keys with him as usual thus leaving the door unlocked.

Naturally if I'm stuck on the toilet or vomiting into a bowl I'm not going to want to leave my door unlocked as I live on a main road, so I locked it until he gets back.

Typically they arrive back when I'm stuck in the bathroom. I couldn't do much about that unfortunately so they had to wait 10 minutes or so until I was able to go and let them in.

DP comes in doing a silly dance saying how much he's bursting for a wee and his youngest DC is majorly pissed off about having to wait outside for so long.

WIBU to have locked the door and made them wait as opposed to leaving the toilet to open the door? Confused

OP posts:
Bobsyer · 20/10/2021 22:51

@kateg27

If my partner was at home I wouldn't take my house keys. Why would I? But then again I wouldn't lock the door and leave them outside either but I tend to think of others rather than just myself.
Because if your partner is having a shit when you get back maybe you don’t want to have to wait on your own doorstep?

Maybe as you’ve gone out you should be responsible enough to get back in, not make your partner have to stop what they’re doing?

Seriously and you think you’re the one who thinks of others not yourself?!

Thestarchild · 20/10/2021 22:55

Isn't it funny how MN claim to be having a word with posters and yet the same names crop up again and again with their faux concern and attempts to kick an OP for the hell of it. They are invariably the ones of immediately seem to dictate the way a thread will go because the hard of thinking seem to believe that by agreeing they gain some kudos.

I'd like to know why these posters, who's names are so bloody familiar to all, never seem to be the ones MN has a word with and remain here, day in day out, just being blunt and nasty.

Lulu2021 · 20/10/2021 22:58

Am I right in thinking Catford was where that poor teacher's body was found recently in a park? Sad

I'd definitely be locking my door too, OP.

Bobsyer · 20/10/2021 23:00

You noticed that too @Thestarchild? Interesting isn’t it.

evilharpy · 20/10/2021 23:01

@Lulu2021

Am I right in thinking Catford was where that poor teacher's body was found recently in a park? Sad

I'd definitely be locking my door too, OP.

That was Clapham.
hotmeatymilk · 20/10/2021 23:04

It wasn’t, it was Kidbrooke in Greenwich borough. Not miles from Catford but not yards either. And definitely not Clapham. Sarah Everard was Clapham-Brixton.

Time for me to get off this thread too.

Thestarchild · 20/10/2021 23:05

@Bobsyer

You noticed that too *@Thestarchild*? Interesting isn’t it.
Fascinating. It's like the great unspoken thing isn't it? And it really shouldn't be.
eastegg · 20/10/2021 23:06

evilharpy you might be thinking of Sarah Everard. Sabina Nessa was the teacher and was killed in Kidbrooke. She taught in nearby Catford. Lulu is basically right.

evilharpy · 20/10/2021 23:07

@hotmeatymilk

It wasn’t, it was Kidbrooke in Greenwich borough. Not miles from Catford but not yards either. And definitely not Clapham. Sarah Everard was Clapham-Brixton.

Time for me to get off this thread too.

Sorry, I only half read the comment and immediately thought of Sarah. You're quite right.
eastegg · 20/10/2021 23:08

Anyway violence against women happens everywhere so it doesn’t really matter.

billy1966 · 20/10/2021 23:11

Of course you did the right thing, both locking the door and staying where you were.

Your partner sounds like a gobshite, you have my sympathies.

Bringing a key when you go out is really basic, he sounds dim and tedious.

I hope you are not accepting any guff from his 12 year old in YOUR home.🙄

Mind yourself OP.Flowers

SuperCaliFragalistic · 20/10/2021 23:12

I don't lock my family out of the house while I'm on the toilet. That seems a bit weird but I guess I live in a safer area.

edwinbear · 20/10/2021 23:12

I’m not far from Catford OP, in Lewisham. No fucking way would I leave my front door unlocked in Catford (no offence meant) and I’m surprised your DP was happy to leave his pregnant wife at home, constantly on the loo, in an unlocked house in Catford, because he can’t be bothered to pick up his keys.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 20/10/2021 23:31

@SuperCaliFragalistic

I don't lock my family out of the house while I'm on the toilet. That seems a bit weird but I guess I live in a safer area.
She didn't lock them out. She locked herself in because she lives in a dodgy area. They locked themselves out by not taking a house key with them.
Fired · 20/10/2021 23:32

This thread is a flaming pile of shite. Some of the responses are just nasty for the sake of it.

YANBU at all OP.

I'm so happy for the posters who have have never felt unsafe in their own homes, been a victim of burglary, or lived in a high crime area but it's just unrealistic in this day and age to leave your doors unlocked!

Your DP is not a bloody child, he needs to get a grip and remember his keys. I don't know any adults that leave home without their keys, even if it is only for 10 minutes.

Sneak burglaries only take a couple of minutes. You were right to prioritise safety OP.

Marvellousmadness · 20/10/2021 23:39

Haha. Well. Hell learn quickly enough now to bring his keys. Keep doing this. Your not the doorkeeper. And of course you wanna have your doors locked when you are stuck in a bathroom.

Original poster
Notoday · 20/10/2021 23:40

@SuperCaliFragalistic

I don't lock my family out of the house while I'm on the toilet. That seems a bit weird but I guess I live in a safer area.
I don't lock my family out.

He has keys which i had cut for him but he chooses not to take them.

The door always gets locked behind me when home and has done ever since I was burgled in the middle of the day, whilst I slept after a night shift.

I'm not going to leave myself and my home vulnerable because he can't remember/be arsed to take his keys.

If I hadn't of checked the door after he left it would have been unlocked for an hour which would've been plenty of time for one of the local crack addicts to slope in and steal something, or god forbid do something worse.

I shouldn't need to justify myself any further but if it makes any difference, which it probably doesn't to the SM hating mob, I am also a survivor of domestic violence and rape.

I do not leave my door unlocked for anybody. Not DP. Not his kids. Not my mother.

To hell with those of you who think I should do.

Don't let legitimate reasons for locking ones door stop you sticking the boot in though..

Honestly I despair.

OP posts:
Fired · 20/10/2021 23:49

Well done for sticking up for yourself OP.

Honestly, I'd have had hidden the thread long before now. Can't stand it when posters stick the boot in for no reason and can't understand that not everyone lives life exactly as they do.

CrabbyCreek · 20/10/2021 23:50

Op why didn't you just put a nappy on?
Then you can sit by the door rather than inconveniencing your adult partner who forgot his keys.
Or a plastic sheet? To poop onto as you walk through to unlock the door?
He can't be expected to remember a key ffs.
He's picking up a child. The hero

Getyourownback · 21/10/2021 00:00

@Bobsyer

You noticed that too *@Thestarchild*? Interesting isn’t it.
I have wondered if that poster in question is something to do with Mumsnet. She’s on it all day every day and gets away with being horrible to everyone and so unbearably faux confused/concerned. Makes me laugh a lot though. She’s more reliable than the sun.
Original poster
Notoday · 21/10/2021 00:05

I have wondered if that poster in question is something to do with Mumsnet. She’s on it all day every day and gets away with being horrible to everyone and so unbearably faux confused/concerned. Makes me laugh a lot though. She’s more reliable than the sun.

I agree and wonder the same.

I've seen people banned for much less than that poster does on a regular basis.

OP posts:
whistleryukon · 21/10/2021 00:17

@Moonwatcher1234

Really weird that OP posted this. Obviously she is not being unreasonable but odd that she needs to ask people this? Confused.
I can't bear posts like this. Just say what you want to say without the passive aggression.
Pallisers · 21/10/2021 00:29

@SuperCaliFragalistic

I don't lock my family out of the house while I'm on the toilet. That seems a bit weird but I guess I live in a safer area.
also you are a lot smugger and we all know from this theread that protects against robbers. just as living in a "safer" area does.

Do you want some award for NOT locking your family out of the house when going to the toilet. Or an award for going to the toilet and having diarrohea in an open house? what on earth would that award be for???

This thread is batshit crazy. Well done OP for keeping going as long as you have.

Pallisers · 21/10/2021 00:32

And all those heroines who live in safer area bliss without locking your doors ... have you checked your home insurance policy recently?

Dotty1219 · 21/10/2021 00:41

Not unreasonable to lock the door even if you are in. I always lock mine, DP doesn't bother and it drives me mad, especially as he has bloody headphones on from the minute he gets up to the minute he goes to bed, so wouldn't hear a thing.
Next door left their door unlocked once, and someone walked in and stole their laptop from the kitchen side.
And once I caught someone walking through my door because DP left it unlocked, still hasn't learnt his lesson though.

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