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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have left them outside for 10 minutes

488 replies

Notoday · 20/10/2021 15:29

I'm a few days away from having a cesarian. I'm having to take some suppressant medication that makes me poorly, so that's fun. I've spent the last week between the bed and the bathroom.

My partner who lives with me went to collect his kids from school and bring them here but he didn't take his keys with him as usual thus leaving the door unlocked.

Naturally if I'm stuck on the toilet or vomiting into a bowl I'm not going to want to leave my door unlocked as I live on a main road, so I locked it until he gets back.

Typically they arrive back when I'm stuck in the bathroom. I couldn't do much about that unfortunately so they had to wait 10 minutes or so until I was able to go and let them in.

DP comes in doing a silly dance saying how much he's bursting for a wee and his youngest DC is majorly pissed off about having to wait outside for so long.

WIBU to have locked the door and made them wait as opposed to leaving the toilet to open the door? Confused

OP posts:
Feedingthebirds1 · 20/10/2021 22:00

whether the OP should have locked the door or not is almost irrelevant - she could still express some empathy for knackered kids having to wait outside, even if it couldn't be helped.

The kids wouldn't have had to wait outside if the man - y'know, their father - could just be arsed to spend five seconds picking up his keys. But according to some posters that is too much to ask. However it is apparently not too much to ask that a pregnant, diarrhoea struck woman should immediately vacate the loo to let them all in.

knackered kids having to wait outside, even if it couldn't be helped.

It could be helped. See above.

Lulu2021 · 20/10/2021 22:01

@tiggerwhocamefortea

IME diarrhoea is over with in 10 seconds not 10 minutes but maybe you wanted to subconsciously to teach him a lesson for not taking his keys?

😆 ffs. Is diarrhoea universal, following precisely the 10 second time period for all people in all circumstances?

It's such an education on here I tell you.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 20/10/2021 22:02
  • I have n’t read the whole thread but this poster has it.

It sound like the op was punishing her partner.*

How? By refusing to shit herself and waiting to be done before opening the door?

AutumnLeafy · 20/10/2021 22:03

Weirdest thread I've read on here for a while. People actually doubting the OP's severetity of illness.

AutumnLeafy · 20/10/2021 22:05

@tiggerwhocamefortea

IME diarrhoea is over with in 10 seconds not 10 minutes but maybe you wanted to subconsciously to teach him a lesson for not taking his keys?
people's bowels and causes of diarrhoea vary.
Lulu2021 · 20/10/2021 22:05

@AutumnLeafy

Weirdest thread I've read on here for a while. People actually doubting the OP's severetity of illness.

And imposing an arbitrary timescale upon her diarrhoea. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Utterly crazy.

AutumnLeafy · 20/10/2021 22:06

@Lulu2021 I know! It's so weird.

Moonwatcher1234 · 20/10/2021 22:10

Really weird that OP posted this. Obviously she is not being unreasonable but odd that she needs to ask people this? Confused.

eastegg · 20/10/2021 22:11

@2Two

If you are absolutely 100% about it, I really don’t see the point of posting.

Are you new to Mumsnet, @eastegg? This is a general forum, there doesn't have to be a "point" to posting, whether sanctioned by you or otherwise.

No, been here well over a decade.

Thanks for trying to police what I can say though. Ironic.

yesterdayisinthepast · 20/10/2021 22:14

@Lulu2021 very strange!

eastegg · 20/10/2021 22:16

@Moonwatcher1234

Really weird that OP posted this. Obviously she is not being unreasonable but odd that she needs to ask people this? Confused.
Ooh careful now Moonwatcher1234. You mustn’t try to police the thread, otherwise the über police, aka 2Two, will be on to you, policing the policers.

I totally agree. Obviously she couldn’t leave the loo, so what the jeff is everyone debating?

NormanStangerson · 20/10/2021 22:19

@Moonwatcher1234

Really weird that OP posted this. Obviously she is not being unreasonable but odd that she needs to ask people this? Confused.
Sick, hormonal, pregnant woman - whose live-in partner consistently forgets his keys, despite knowing OP has been burgled, lives on a main road and always locks her door, forgets his keys AGAIN and then has a go at the OP for having diarrhoea when he wanted to get back in - wants to check she’s not going off her rocker for being pissed off? I think that’s a fine reason for a thread.

You obviously felt compelled to post on it despite you feeling so passive aggressively ‘confused’.

She’s also thrown into stark relief the number of people on here who are cunts for the sake of it…

It’s been an education.

TravelLost · 20/10/2021 22:19

@Notoday

He certainly should have taken his keys. It's a theme. I love how his son has concluded that I'm the problem though Grin
That’s probably because that’s what his dad said…..
DriftingBlue · 20/10/2021 22:23

He left the house without his keys. You are pregnant and ill. All consequences are his responsibility.

Seriously, even children can remember a house key.

Moonwatcher1234 · 20/10/2021 22:26

NormanStrangerson

Woah easy there…I’m asking a question as we are all entitled to do so, without being sworn at. Maybe consider taking the aggression down a notch when instructing us to consider the feelings of others 😊

TravelLost · 20/10/2021 22:27

This thread is like a parallel universe.
Some posters are crazy.

Should leave the door unlocked in an area known for a high crime level
Shouod have left the door open because it was clear DP wasn’t going to take his keys
Should have left the loo mid diarrhoea to open the door
Is unkind to the dss (because he had to wait until she had finished?? Who knows)

@Notoday I applaud you for keeping calm and measured tbh.
Hope the last weeks of your pg will go ok (and your DP will step up better than he is atm)

Original poster
Notoday · 20/10/2021 22:28

I'm pushing my DP by being on the toilet when he arrives back? Confused

Also, I could have shown some empathy for knackered kids stood outside in the cold?

  1. it hasn't been cold

  2. the first thing I said to the kids when I opened the door was "i'm sorry for the delay love, I'm not very well"

Met with attitude.

Where was their consideration for me?

I'd sooner be stood on a doorstep for 10 mins perfectly well in myself, than being violently ill in the toilet at 9 months pregnant.

I probably should have dropped to my knees and begged forgiveness though, you know because women are responsible for the consequences of the actions (or lackthereof) of men.

Personally I think DP should have apologised to them for the fact they had to stand outside, seeing as it was his doing.

OP posts:
hotmeatymilk · 20/10/2021 22:29

OP, which do you regret more: locking out your DP, getting all of AIBU in a tizz about the precise nature of your bowels, or denigrating the good name of Catford.

For the pp who wondered, it’s got a shopping centre with a giant cat on it and a crap river known locally OK, to me as Dog Poo River. Absolutely lock your door and bolt the chain territory.

WhereIsMumHiding3 · 20/10/2021 22:31

@Northernparent68
I have n’t read the whole thread but this poster has it.
It sound like the op was punishing her partner.

Neither you nor the PP you quoted have RTFT nor even the OPs starting comment!! That's basic stuff really to be able to use MN

OP was in the toilet with diarrhoea, vomiting and was unable to go downstairs without shutting everywhere in the hall and stair carpets to open the door for those 10 mins that her twonk of a DP had to wait because he's a man child and regularly forgets to take his key
She managed to get to the door as quickly as she could.

Other helpful facts incase you didn't understand nor even select and read OPs posts

  • DP went out for an hour
  • He knows OP locks the door always when she's in (& out)
  • She has always locked the door when since before he moved in 2 years ago
  • It's OPs rented house
  • OP is heavily pregnant and very unwell. She's on medication that causes long bouts of horrid D&V where she can't move off the loo, but that medication is keeping her baby alive/safe
  • OP lives in a very high crime area, her front door is directly onto the road
  • She was burgled a few years prior which upset her
  • Her DP was rude to her that she dared to have the shits & be unable to be his maid /chief doorwoman when he wanted to be let in
  • He told his son it was OPs fault they were stood outside when it was his (as he forgot his key )
  • it was not cold out
  • DP wanted the loo himself not DPs 12 year old son
  • OP hasn't said anything horrible about her DP other than it frustrates her that he regularly goes out without house keys expecting her to (be constantly available to) let him in

Such a leap of faulty logic to claim OP was 'punishing her' DP .

Original poster
Notoday · 20/10/2021 22:33

Thank you Travel and others for the well wishes Smile

The twattish posters haven't upset me, it's actually quite amusing reading some of the ridiculous replies.

I'll make a mental note to do as PP suggested and re-post this in a years time but switch DSS to DC, then link back to this thread to prove my point that a sizeable % of MNers are ridiculous have a deeply entrenched loathing for step mothers and are prepared to make total fools of themselves in attempts to attack them Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Notoday · 20/10/2021 22:35

@hotmeatymilk

OP, which do you regret more: locking out your DP, getting all of AIBU in a tizz about the precise nature of your bowels, or denigrating the good name of Catford.

For the pp who wondered, it’s got a shopping centre with a giant cat on it and a crap river known locally OK, to me as Dog Poo River. Absolutely lock your door and bolt the chain territory.

This made me laugh Grin
OP posts:
Original poster
Notoday · 20/10/2021 22:36

[quote WhereIsMumHiding3]@Northernparent68
I have n’t read the whole thread but this poster has it.
It sound like the op was punishing her partner.

Neither you nor the PP you quoted have RTFT nor even the OPs starting comment!! That's basic stuff really to be able to use MN

OP was in the toilet with diarrhoea, vomiting and was unable to go downstairs without shutting everywhere in the hall and stair carpets to open the door for those 10 mins that her twonk of a DP had to wait because he's a man child and regularly forgets to take his key
She managed to get to the door as quickly as she could.

Other helpful facts incase you didn't understand nor even select and read OPs posts

  • DP went out for an hour
  • He knows OP locks the door always when she's in (& out)
  • She has always locked the door when since before he moved in 2 years ago
  • It's OPs rented house
  • OP is heavily pregnant and very unwell. She's on medication that causes long bouts of horrid D&V where she can't move off the loo, but that medication is keeping her baby alive/safe
  • OP lives in a very high crime area, her front door is directly onto the road
  • She was burgled a few years prior which upset her
  • Her DP was rude to her that she dared to have the shits & be unable to be his maid /chief doorwoman when he wanted to be let in
  • He told his son it was OPs fault they were stood outside when it was his (as he forgot his key )
  • it was not cold out
  • DP wanted the loo himself not DPs 12 year old son
  • OP hasn't said anything horrible about her DP other than it frustrates her that he regularly goes out without house keys expecting her to (be constantly available to) let him in

Such a leap of faulty logic to claim OP was 'punishing her' DP .[/quote]
This sums it up perfectly thank you!

OP posts:
eastegg · 20/10/2021 22:40

For balance, we went to a lovely forest school in Catford not long ago.

WhereIsMumHiding3 · 20/10/2021 22:43

Lol- of course I meant shitting everywhere not shutting.

Really how do some posters not understand that diarrhoea comes out anyway and goes everywhere - it's pretty grim.

Try cleaning that out of carpets in hallway, stairs, inside door mat, down your leg & clothes . Just because an adult man can't remember to take his keys with him when he goes out for an hour and can't possibly be expected to wait for his 9 month pregnant partner to be well enough to get off the loo to open door to him.

. I bet DP wouldn't have liked that scenario - Shockwalking into a hallway of poo

Lulu2021 · 20/10/2021 22:50

It sound like the op was punishing her partner.

Yes, I see your point. I mean, I regularly get the shits on purpose to punish my DP.

Ok. That's enough MN for me for one day. 🤦🏼‍♀️

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