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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to drop off 6 month old at nursery at 7 even though I don't start work til 9

276 replies

Katlow · 19/10/2021 07:51

Going back to work tomorrow and LO is 6 months old. He's going to nursery a maximum of 3 days a week but it's going to depend on how my husbands shifts fall. I've got no idea what to expect at drop off. I was considering dropping him off early to avoid the hustle and bustle as nursery have said its 'mad' in the morning.
I was thinking I could throw some joggers and a jumper on and drop him off at around 7/7.30 then come home and get ready for work properly.
But then he's woken up this morning (he's usually up at 7) and he's so happy to see me. I don't know how I'd feel about literally getting him up and dressed then straight out the door. :(
How long does nursery drop off usually take? To get in the building etc. I'm so nervous and feeling a little bit guilty.
Bonus points for any answers which tell me how much your 6 month old loved nursery.

OP posts:
Lalliella · 19/10/2021 09:01

By the way, I didn’t really answer your question, I wouldn’t bother dropping him early, just enjoy the early mornings with him.

thebakeoffwasntasgoodthisyear · 19/10/2021 09:04

You’ll have to collect by 5pm as 10 hours is the legal max time in nursery daily

Can you specify which law OP would be breaking if she were to collect later than 5pm?

8dpwoah · 19/10/2021 09:05

@Katlow

More info -

Nursery open at 7 and close at 6, it costs no extra to take them In early or pick them up later. Set fee of £44 a day.
He's done 5 settling in sessions, 3 with me or my husband there for an hour, 2 where we left him for an hour. All went well.
He's actually 5.75 or something months at the mo so I've not actually started weaning him yet. I just rounded him up to 6. He's 6 months on the 26th.
He normally naturally wakes up at around 6.30 but we leave him babbling in his crib until 7. So I could get him at 6.30.
I'm thinking maybe a happy medium of dropping him off at 10 to 8. I can get some yoghurt down him when he turns 6 months, get him dressed. Get my work clothes on and then finish my hair and makeup when I get home. To be fair, nursery is only 6 minutes drive from my house and work is 20 mins in rush our traffic from my house the other direction so I don't have much of a commute.

That sounds good then, give it a try and see if it works- there'll no doubt be lots of tweaking as you figure it out and if you've paid from 7am it's not like you've got to be mindful of not getting there too early or anything like that. You'll settle into a routine and there's no problem with changing things up if they aren't working for you all. You've got all the adjustment of going back to work too so don't be too hard on yourself if it feels like you're not in a routine immediately- as long as you're at work on time and everybody is vaguely fed, watered, happy and clean, you're doing fine!
Fundays12 · 19/10/2021 09:11

I wouldn’t it’s already a long day for a baby without adding on an extra couple of hours. Nursery drop of is always busy but normally quick.

Tanith · 19/10/2021 09:11

Holidaytan has said she's posting her previous experience and I can remember a huge fuss a few years ago when a nursery tried to open for 24 hours: Ofsted said they would have to register as a children's home to do so.
It was an advantage of childminders that we could have children overnight and we had to have permission. I can also remember Ofsted frowning on any childcare more than 10 hours for a child, though that seems to have been relaxed and they don't check these days.

If UK nurseries are now accepting children 24 hours, either they're doing so without checking, or the rules have been relaxed in the last few years.

CocaColaTruck1 · 19/10/2021 09:13

Your update sounds good.
It's all a learning curve, for you both.
Once your back in the swing of work you may find tweaking the time, earlier or later, works better for you. Just see how you both go!
Good luck for your first day back and I hope DS has a great first day!

GiltEdges · 19/10/2021 09:14

@Tanith

Holidaytan has said she's posting her previous experience and I can remember a huge fuss a few years ago when a nursery tried to open for 24 hours: Ofsted said they would have to register as a children's home to do so. It was an advantage of childminders that we could have children overnight and we had to have permission. I can also remember Ofsted frowning on any childcare more than 10 hours for a child, though that seems to have been relaxed and they don't check these days.

If UK nurseries are now accepting children 24 hours, either they're doing so without checking, or the rules have been relaxed in the last few years.

And yet there has never been an actual law which limited parents to using childcare for a maximum of 10 hours a day.
MindyStClaire · 19/10/2021 09:14

Absolutely no harm in this plan if it works for you.

We had planned on dropping off at 7:30 when they opened when DD1 started, but in the end only did it once as we decided we preferred her to have breakfast at home. She's fulltime though, so I would be less concerned about that when it's only a few mornings a week.

I would try both ways and see which works best for your family.

RedMarauder · 19/10/2021 09:21

OP as a baby he will be fine being dropped of early. Once he starts walking and then potty training it gets more difficult to get out them out on time.

You just need to work out a routine that will work for you.

So will leaving him to play in his cot for a few minutes work better than picking him up and getting him ready as soon as he wakes as he will expect the same thing on weekends? Will he prefer having breakfast at nursery so he can work out if he is spending the day at home or nursery? Will it be a rush for you to get back home from nursery?

I use to drop my DD off around 7am but that was with a childminder and she was just under 10 months old. She would get picked up anytime from 4.30-6pm depending on traffic.

LlamaTime · 19/10/2021 09:33

I think it really depends on you, you might not even want to have a set way but change it up depending on your needs. We used to do DH take DS leaving at 8, I would have half hour to get ready and then leave for work, really liked that time. Now I take DS we leave at 8 for 8.20 drop off and I actually prefer spending the extra time with him and we decided not to switch back. If nursery was around the corner I think now I'd choose to get ready together and then take him. But I really liked the other way too and didn't seem to make a difference to DS. So what I'm trying to say is - try it both ways you don't need to commit to anything.

Only thing is given the option I'd perhaps start on shorter days and get longer ones in the second week if all is fine.

alphabetti · 19/10/2021 09:34

Our nursery opens at 7.30am. You have to wait at door for staff to come take your child to their room and sometimes parents might need to mention something but it only takes a few mins. I currently WFH starting 8.30 but usually drop her around 8am so can have a quiet breakfast before start working.

My baby is 10mth and started nursery 1 September. She eats well but only blended food she refuses finger foods. At settling in they just asked her likes/dislikes and how she likes food and they say just keep them updated so they can follow our lead. They will assist with the weaning too they know what they doing.

I might be seen as cruel by some but have felt bit overwhelmed by keeping on top of housework now back at work so taken odd days of annual leave to catch up and have sent her to nursery as it’s paid for and she enjoys it and gives me little break too as I don’t really get any other break.

Franklyfrost · 19/10/2021 09:36

Leaving the house twice would up my stress levels. I’d leave baby babbling in cot for that half hour because that’s a great habit. I know this is a matter of personal preference but I’d look at how long is spent on hair and makeup every morning and see if you can stream line that. But if hair and makeup is a treat for you then don’t cut back.

nomoneytreehere · 19/10/2021 09:38

Totally off topic but gosh your nursery is cheap. Even the local authority one where I am is over £60.

navigationcentral · 19/10/2021 09:49

@Holidaytan- do return, and do bring with you the law which states this. Note : not an individual nursery's policy - but the "legal requirement". I suspect you wont provide this because ... there isn't one. I say this as someone with a 19 month old, and a 6 year old, both of whom have attended/currently attend my workplace nursery which is part of a national chain and very compliant with all manner of regs. So - where's the link to the legal requirement please?

JesterMcFester · 19/10/2021 09:54

@Holidaytan no law at all.

The NHS daycare we use is drop off at 6.45am and pick up at 7.15pm for many families some of the time depending on shift rotas. Most NHS nurseries have similar hours when based at a hospital.

Anoisagusaris · 19/10/2021 09:57

It’s a long enough day for babies in nursery without dropping them off so much earlier than you need. Let him play on the floor or in his cot while you get ready….shouldn’t take more than 10 mins for hair and makeup. You’ll be wasting far more time going to and from nursery.

CrabbyCreek · 19/10/2021 10:03

[quote Moraxella]@Holidaytan mine goes for over 12hrs a day 😀[/quote]
How old though? At 5 mths?

Moonbabysmum · 19/10/2021 10:10

I'd use the half an hour when he's on his cot to get yourself ready, dress, hair, makeup etc, then you've got some time to have breakfast together, play and then drop him off.

I think he's too young to be in childcare for such long hours where you don't really need this, and otherwise you'll be spending virtually no right with him on those days, not because of work, but by choice.

Breakfast with a weaning baby isn't a quick thing, and babies don't understand rushing, so I'd suggest earmarking 30-45m for that.

Leaving the house twice sounds stressful in any event.

tiggerwhocamefortea · 19/10/2021 10:10

Perhaps the confusion over legality of maximum hours is that the 15/30 hours funded hours can only be used up to a max 10 hours per day?

TreadLightly3 · 19/10/2021 10:21

My son has been full time at nursery since before he was 6 months and he loves it - he’s now 3. You need to take care of your own mental health as well as your baby so if you feel more relaxed dropping them off so you can get ready for work without stressing you should do that. Good luck back at work!

Tilltheend99 · 19/10/2021 10:21

@MrsColon

I wouldn't leave a 6 month old in nursery longer than necessary - to those posters saying he'll "love it", I doubt that. He might tolerate it, but babies of that age prefer being with their parents, as do most children even when they're older! I get that it's often necessary for DC to attend childcare (mine did from 12 months, 9-5, 3 days a week) but I wouldn't send a child for 12+ hours unless I really had no other choice.
Yeah. I’m pretty shocked since coming on MN to discover this trend for sending baby’s for 11/12 hours nursery days after a couple of months. If no other choice due to finances fair enough but it seems like a popular parenting choice now. I can understand women not wanting to be penalised in their job progression but I would have thought shared parental leave the way to go.
RestingPandaFace · 19/10/2021 10:29

You do whatever works best for you and with no guilt.

In practise I think your morning might feel less rushed if you use his lying in his cot babbling time to get yourself ready then get him up and drop him when you are ready to leave, but you’ll only know by trying.

Dixiechickonhols · 19/10/2021 10:29

There’s no max time at nursery - how do people working shifts etc manage if not some jobs have 12 hour shifts.
I’d see how it goes. Mine used to have all 3 meals at nursery on 3 days she went. Breakfast was quieter and she settled in before it got busier. Just see how it goes. You are paying for it so use how feels best for you both.

kwiksavenofrillsusername · 19/10/2021 10:39

I would have loved the option of an early drop off. I always used to rush around without being able to catch a breath. It would have been great to be able to enjoy a coffee and brush my hair in peace.

My DS started nursery around 6 months. He loved it! Really brought him out of his shell. They had the time and patience to do lots of activities that I couldn’t do with him. He settled into school well because he was very used to the routine.