WIBU to drop off 6 month old at nursery at 7 even though I don't start work til 9

[Katlow]

Going back to work tomorrow and LO is 6 months old. He's going to nursery a maximum of 3 days a week but it's going to depend on how my husbands shifts fall. I've got no idea what to expect at drop off. I was considering dropping him off early to avoid the hustle and bustle as nursery have said its 'mad' in the morning.
I was thinking I could throw some joggers and a jumper on and drop him off at around 7/7.30 then come home and get ready for work properly.
But then he's woken up this morning (he's usually up at 7) and he's so happy to see me. I don't know how I'd feel about literally getting him up and dressed then straight out the door. :(
How long does nursery drop off usually take? To get in the building etc. I'm so nervous and feeling a little bit guilty.
Bonus points for any answers which tell me how much your 6 month old loved nursery.

Yup my kids attend nursery from 7am to 6pm 5day week Mon -Fri they love it.Thriving happy well balanced kids.
No attachment issues
No mum guilt
No tears

Long before COVID, it took about 10 minutes to drop my DS off. He started at 7 months for 3 days a week from 8am to 6pm ( I usually collected him about 5:45/5:50. ). He settled in quickly and always loved nursery. He had just 2 short trial sessions. Mornings I used to ring the bell at 8am sharp (was on my way to work) and go in with him, and settle him in a high chair with breakfast before going. He was always keen on breakfast so was concentrating on that and in general didn’t notice me going after a spoonful or two, a nursery nurse usually helped to fetch his breakfast and took over after a couple of spoonfuls. As he was usually the first one there he got a lot of attention first thing, which he loved.

It wasn’t a ‘long day’ for him either, he napped at nursery for the same amount of time he napped at home, and was no more tired on nursery days than home days.

I used to give him a bottle at 7, get him and me up and dressed and then go straight to nursery for 8 on the dot. I got my breakfast a little later at work. DS was always happy to go to nursery and when he was a bit older used to get cross with me if I took too long getting ready (in his view) and tell me to hurry up.

The nursery we used never opened before 8, but I’m sure they vary, do check.

This makes me a bit sad. I drop DS off as late as I can so we can spend a bit of time together in the morning, then pick him up as soon as possible so we have more time in the evening. Your baby is very young to be spending such a very long day away.

@Learnthroughplay3

You are wanting to do something that doesn't sit right with you but be reassured which is what you will get from a lot of people on mumsnet as they focus on woman should do what men should, I'm all for this until it harms a child, putting a child in nursery can cause attachment issues along the lines,putting them in for long hours can definitely do this, people say kids are resilient but not from my training have I ever come across this kids just can't express themselves, I have also worked in nursery's prior to my training and the way some children got treated was horrendous they couldn't speak up for themselves, I'm happy to go into things what happened but it would make this too long. I do feel for anyone who has to use childcare, I personally have and still do suffer money wise to make sure I don't and I understand it can't be avoided for some but my answer is the reality from my experience.

A wealth of treasures in this post. Perhaps others can begin to unpack this. Some choice points that others might have the energy to address -

1. All for women should be able to do what men can, until it harms a child.

1. Putting a child in nursery = attachment ishoos.

1. One needs to "feel for" people using childcare.

I can't even.

I thought about it but I couldn't be bothered tbh @navigationcentral too much huns for me.

DD went 8-4.30 and that was with me working school hours nearby. People working 'normal' jobs are clearly going to be adding an hour or two onto that at least, I'm surprised (but not really) that this and on the TAAT that someone doing full time family childcare has started up, that the simple maths of working and commuting hours surprises some posters...

@Learnthroughplay3 I ‘feel’ for the kids you come across in your training if you are so judgemental. My kids were so well cared for in creche, have no attachment issues and can express themselves. Maybe you worked in shit nurseries.

However, I don’t see why anyone would send their small baby for additional hours so they can do their hair and makeup and have breakfast.

@navigationcentral ignorance is bliss then???

In every sector there is unfortunately cases of poor suboptimal care. It doesn’t mean it’s replicated everywhere.it doesn’t mean one should adopt a I’ll never use Nursery approach because some are bad.

Poor practice is a minority you try to avoid it
Mn is always recounting someone who knows someone who said they treat the children dreadfully it’s like Guantanamo bay for babies. If you have an ideological objection to nursery don’t use it. Leave the rest of us to crack on with the 7am starts

@EspressoDoubleShot for the nurseries i worked in which were quite a few it wasn't the minority though? Would you rather people not speak up?

@anoisagusaris yeah, sending a little baby in early so you can do your hair and make up just doesn't sit well with me. Mine has just turned one and I just can't imagine putting make up over time with him.

@roarfeckingroarr

Yeo! I assumed that other mums do the same as me, and basically do it in the go, forego makeup, or do quickly in the car park, or pop into the loos in work before going in.

In addition to my post I also have a 6 month old with me right now and I know they suffer without me while I get a shower let alone going to strangers for hours who to them is another number paying

[quote Learnthroughplay3]@navigationcentral ignorance is bliss then???[/quote]
When informed, educated people make decisions which are carefully judged, observe their children developing over time, their personalities, their needs, their hopes, the little people they turn out to be - and they STILL run their lives a certain way, and STILL appreciate their childcare providers enormously, STILL appreciate their work-life balance massively, STILL love the lives and homes they have - then they aren't quite ignorant. They are competent, careful, successful people - leading good lives and making well-judged decisions they are happy to make, being proud of the kids they are raising, and leading their lives to the best of their abilities, often quite happily. These people hold down jobs, many of them build careers they and their families are damn proud of, raise children who are wonderful humans, and who have the core competence of evaluating evidence and understanding science. These aren't ignorant people. Be careful of what you imply.

How long are your showers if your child is 'suffering' while you have them? Don't be so absurd. That's an attachment issue right there and it ain't the kid's.

Mine loved nursery but they get very very tired. I think you’d be mad to drop him there that early. A more relaxed morning at home and then you could walk him over, a 6 minute drive doesn’t sound worth it.

And drop off is literally pass them to staff give kid a kiss and go. You won’t be loitering!

[quote roarfeckingroarr]@anoisagusaris yeah, sending a little baby in early so you can do your hair and make up just doesn't sit well with me. Mine has just turned one and I just can't imagine putting make up over time with him.[/quote]
What would the dad be doing at this same time? Sending a little baby in early so daddy can shave his face and put a tie on must also not sit too rightly with you then....

You can't say anythibg remotely negative about nurseries or creches on mn. I worked in several on a gap year from uni and I would never send a child to one especially under two years old. Some were better than others but what was consistent was v young, bored workers in many (v badly paid) , constant illness for the dcs there (I don't think it is actually amazing for the immune system to be sick constantly at all) , not enough fresh air and very regimented meal/sleep times, on the most basic level small children didnt get enough taxtile affection and one to one attention that I personally believe is v important.
It wasnt easy for us either, no family support but we worked through the early years by swapping over and sahp each at times , now our dcs are all in school and we are back working.
Its v v much each to their own and what works for you but it is absolutley ok to have another view.

Nursery is about making working life….workable.

For a first day, yes, allow yourself longer so you can go and see how it all works out. You can ask about busy times and how long things usually take. perhaps the next day you’ll then go in a bit later. It will be trail and error to see which times work best.

There is no right answer to this. Some people can have their baby up and out within 15 mins. Others need 90 minutes to do a feed and everything else. Some have longer journeys. Some have busier nurseries.

My personal approach was to get myself up and ready before baby. This worked because of a reliable routine which meant I knew when my babies would be ready to get up. I could guarantee I had the time before 7am to do what I needed. Lots of people have no idea when their baby will want to get up and can find they have zero time to sort themselves out.

It’s a learning experience and it’s not the easiest phase…the last minute poo as you are about to leave, tight time scales etc. Do what works for you.

Speak up as you wish do report poor practice that’s what I recommend
Also do accept that’s your experience it’s not the majority and I won’t cease nursery use because a few are inadequate @Learnthroughplay3

A lot of brain development goes on pre 2 years and i believe strongly in building a strong attachment with a parent who loves them. But I know , especially as we had no family help nurseries and creches are essential to many . We are no martyrs either as my dh and I have often swapped around and gave each other breaks to go away, hobbies etc.
All the parents said their babies adored creche but I saw a different view many times.
11 hours is very long but if overall it prob won't make a lot of difference when they are there all day anyway.
This was my personal experience of working in nurseries during a year off and I am totally entitled to give my side of the story and what I saw but each to their own.

I'm all for this until it harms a child, putting a child in nursery can cause attachment issues along the lines,putting them in for long hours can definitely do this
do shove this in your gob and pipe down, please.

OP, it varies wildly for us – easier when smaller and portable: ring bell, get let in, hand over bundled-up child like a wriggly parcel, dash off, enjoy some pre-work time. Now she’s 2.5 the four-minute walk takes three hours (“Look the sky, a stick, let’s watch the bin men, no don’t walk that way, I’m a bird, have you seen my feet?”), handover generally involves a little more chit-chat about illnesses and dietary changes and her latest injuries (she likes to RUN), plus more interaction with other parents. Also the getting her out of the fucking door is a BATTLE, they get wily and determined. Drop-off itself doesn’t take long.

I do it as late as possible most days to trim her day as I work long hours and so does DP, who does pick-up, but I’m flexible about it, so days when she’s driving me bats I ensure I boot her out the door early so I can come home and lie on the floor and stare into space for a bit.

@navigationcentral so this is what you tell yourself ok I'm now understanding why your getting so worked up
@8dpwoah nope just hear him screaming when he's not with me and stops when I'm back with him

@Learnthroughplay3

In addition to my post I also have a 6 month old with me right now and I know they suffer without me while I get a shower let alone going to strangers for hours who to them is another number paying

You child suffers when you have a shower, don't be so ridiculous

The bonkerness on here is at such a level it makes me wonder how some people get through normal life

@hotmeatymilk this is the area I am highly trained in why would I not answer op honestly?telling someone what they want to hear isn't always best, also you sound very impatient with your child maybe you will look back at those moments and wish you enjoyed them instead of seeing them as inconvenient to your day