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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to drop off 6 month old at nursery at 7 even though I don't start work til 9

276 replies

Katlow · 19/10/2021 07:51

Going back to work tomorrow and LO is 6 months old. He's going to nursery a maximum of 3 days a week but it's going to depend on how my husbands shifts fall. I've got no idea what to expect at drop off. I was considering dropping him off early to avoid the hustle and bustle as nursery have said its 'mad' in the morning.
I was thinking I could throw some joggers and a jumper on and drop him off at around 7/7.30 then come home and get ready for work properly.
But then he's woken up this morning (he's usually up at 7) and he's so happy to see me. I don't know how I'd feel about literally getting him up and dressed then straight out the door. :(
How long does nursery drop off usually take? To get in the building etc. I'm so nervous and feeling a little bit guilty.
Bonus points for any answers which tell me how much your 6 month old loved nursery.

OP posts:

Facespook · 19/10/2021 08:21

I guess if he’s up and you can get him ready for that time without any fuss it would be ok. It seems very early to me but mine are older and need dragging out of bed for school

notanothertakeaway · 19/10/2021 08:22

@Holidaytan

You’ll have to collect by 5pm as 10 hours is the legal max time in nursery daily.

I suspect that was just the policy at the nursery where you worked

MrsColon · 19/10/2021 08:24

I wouldn't leave a 6 month old in nursery longer than necessary - to those posters saying he'll "love it", I doubt that. He might tolerate it, but babies of that age prefer being with their parents, as do most children even when they're older! I get that it's often necessary for DC to attend childcare (mine did from 12 months, 9-5, 3 days a week) but I wouldn't send a child for 12+ hours unless I really had no other choice.

Hardbackwriter · 19/10/2021 08:28

If he's normally up at 7 would you have to wake him early to do this? I think if so I wouldn't do this, at least at first - you don't know how well he'll nap at nursery (some nap brilliantly at nursery, some don't) so I wouldn't want to cut his sleep short beforehand

Hardbackwriter · 19/10/2021 08:30

I also think in practice this is going to make your morning feel more rushed not less - going out then back and then out is going to be a pain, really, even if it does give you some time to get ready alone. I'd take him at 8/8.15 tomorrow but with you all ready - if drop-off then takes ages you've got plenty of time, if it's quick you can have a leisurely coffee before work and push it back the next day.

tiggerwhocamefortea · 19/10/2021 08:33

Not be honest 7am is very early - what time will you pick him up? All 3 of my children were/are in full time childcare from 20 weeks so I don't have anything against childcare but I wouldnt ever have dropped them off hours earlier than necessary. Being a working mum is hard enough when you also factor in the guilt of only seeing them for a few minutes at breakfast and only an hour or so before bed during the week

Redsquirrel5 · 19/10/2021 08:35

A bit late for this morning but you need to ask/ inform the nursery as at 6 months they need to have the correct ratio of staff to babies/ children. If they are expecting him at 8:30am they may not have the correct number of staff in if you take him earlier. Staff arrival and departure times vary they don’t usually have a fully staffed nursery at 7am if there are only a few children in at that time.

Fdksyihfd · 19/10/2021 08:35

I drop my son off at 8, go home and sort the house out and eat breakfast in peace then start work from home at 9. IRS lovely to have that hour. I’ve done it the other way round with my DD thinking the time would be nicer but actually it was far more stressed and doing it this way gives me more quality time in the evening as I get stuff done in the morning

Original poster

Katlow · 19/10/2021 08:39

More info -

Nursery open at 7 and close at 6, it costs no extra to take them In early or pick them up later. Set fee of £44 a day.
He's done 5 settling in sessions, 3 with me or my husband there for an hour, 2 where we left him for an hour. All went well.
He's actually 5.75 or something months at the mo so I've not actually started weaning him yet. I just rounded him up to 6. He's 6 months on the 26th.
He normally naturally wakes up at around 6.30 but we leave him babbling in his crib until 7. So I could get him at 6.30.
I'm thinking maybe a happy medium of dropping him off at 10 to 8. I can get some yoghurt down him when he turns 6 months, get him dressed. Get my work clothes on and then finish my hair and makeup when I get home. To be fair, nursery is only 6 minutes drive from my house and work is 20 mins in rush our traffic from my house the other direction so I don't have much of a commute.

OP posts:

Badknitter · 19/10/2021 08:41

Mine went at 7 months and never cried, fussed or anything else, loved it. And were there 7 until 6 five days a week.

gogohm · 19/10/2021 08:44

@Holidaytan

Not true, there's no maximum. Theres nurseries open 24 hours a day with overnight facilities even. At the hospital here the crèche is open 6.30 until 8pm for starters because staff do 12.5 hour shifts. Years ago it opened 24 hours for under 3's

OttilieStonelady · 19/10/2021 08:46

@tiggerwhocamefortea

Nah I don't buy this. There's nothing to feel guilty about. Just do what works best for you. I'm a lone parent and my 3 year old has been in childcare 5 days a week since he was one. It's what I had to do to keep my career on track. He's well rounded, good mannered, we have an incredible bond and he's securely attached, he has a lot of friends, and generally loves life. We do fun things on the weekend and I get to do bedtime stories, bath, morning fun whilst getting ready etc. I get updates throughout the day re what he's doing and he's so excited to tell me when he comes home. I don't think that's anything to feel guilty about, so I don't!

Kitkat151 · 19/10/2021 08:46

@Holidaytan do you have a link for this law?? I know staff members only work Up to 10 hours shifts in our local nurseries ( they work early or late shifts) ....but the children can be on site 7.30 to 6pm and this is well advertised

Rosebel · 19/10/2021 08:47

@Holidaytan

You’ll have to collect by 5pm as 10 hours is the legal max time in nursery daily.

Is that true? Is it a recent thing? We used to have children in from 7 to 6. OP it totally depends. My husband drops our LO one off at 7:30 usually and it's pretty quiet but it's all done at the door as we're not allowed in By 7:50 it's crazy busy. My son started at 7 months old and my daughter when she was 5 months. Both loved it.

Moraxella · 19/10/2021 08:48

@Holidaytan mine goes for over 12hrs a day 😀

Missmissmiiiiiiiiisss · 19/10/2021 08:48

@Holidaytan

I worked in nurseries for 5 years and as Deputy I would have to remind parents of this. It’s the reason time in and time leaving needs to be recorded, as well as registering who is in the building you can check children aren’t regularly being left for longer than the max time.

I think you are mistaken. This is the max length of day that funded hours may be used for. So 15h funding can only be used up to 10hours a day for example. That won’t apply to OP.

Talipesmum · 19/10/2021 08:49

Give it a try - you can always adjust, and you don’t quite know yet what routine will work best. I used to drop ours at the childminders at 7.30 and then drive off to work - the glory of childcare is that they feed them, which hugely reduces stress and busyness in the morning. I can’t quite remember what we did when they were babies but I think they had some milk at home then breakfast at the CM. When a bit older they’d have a quick breakfast here and sometimes something later at the CMs. It was always fine.
I think allowing yourself time after drop off to get ready is really sensible. You can really focus on the baby as you get him out of the house, then come back and focus on you.

nanbread · 19/10/2021 08:50

Personally, I'd cut down on or speed up my hair / make up routine and have a bit more of a chilled morning, look to drop him at 8.15 which means no rush.

You never know what obstacles you'll hit in terms of him being grizzly, nursery staff wanting to talk to you, parking issues near nursery, him doing a poo just as you go to leave etc. He will be fine now but at some point he may also develop separation anxiety usually by 18 months, and not want to leave you, so drop off can take longer then.

I used to do my make up in the car once I got to work and my hair the night before... These days you're lucky if I do either

tiggerwhocamefortea · 19/10/2021 08:51

@OttilieStonelady

I don't feel guilty either - I'm a working mum full time too and have been since all 3 (youngest are 9 month old twins) have been 20 weeks old

What I would feel guilty about though is dropping them off hours earlier than I needed to? That was the point of my post

Danikm151 · 19/10/2021 08:53

I drop my son to nursery between 8-8:30 he has breakfast there(he’ll never eat first thing) then collect by 5:30. It’s part of his routine and I always get a big cuddle at the end of the day

Neonplant · 19/10/2021 08:53

People do just say any old shit on mumsnet don't they? @Holidaytan

ChewChewPanda · 19/10/2021 08:55

You would not be unreasonable at all - you are paying for it and the time for you will be welcome - but I would build up to it as your little one will still be getting used to nursery and settling. When our daughter first started I sent her 10-4ish (I know this was a luxury and I used leave to allow for it). Then I gradually extended the time until it spanned my normal working day with a bit of free time in the morning too. She adjusted quickly and really likes it there now.

Lalliella · 19/10/2021 08:56

Oh bless you OP, I was just like you. I think nursery have probably overplayed the busyness, most parents just drop their kids and go. It’s probably more chaotic for the staff than the parents and children!

My DS was quite shy and clingy, but he absolutely loved nursery. He made lots of little friends and it really helped him with social development. I think 3 days is a good amount, it helps them get on a routine there and build relationships, but you get to have them more than half the week. After a week or too, it will be fine and seem normal. Good luck!

UseTheRakeDear · 19/10/2021 08:58

My son's nursery only did full days, I worked 2 1/2 days so Dh would drop him into nursery as part of his usual 2 full days leaving me to blitz the house and wash the lounge carpet, Ds had reflux so it was nice to fully clean it even though we spot cleaned too. It gave me chance to sort stuff out at home, stick a meal into the slow cooker etc. It was brilliant.

A lot of parents have no choice but to put their babies in nursery, my nephew went in from 12 weeks old and went full time, he is a perfectly well adjusted 23 year old. My sister worked full time, her Dh did shifts and this was their only option.

Of course it is not unreasonable to have some time to yourself in the morning. Your baby is going to nursery, not prison. I am sure there will be days when it will not go so great but there will plenty where it will be great. We cannot always have perfect, we have to live with okay.

Starlightstarbright1 · 19/10/2021 08:59

I was a childminder.

I find 6 months settle far easier than the 10 month olds.

I would spend the 6.30 whilst happy in the cot left in the cot..otherwise you will find that as soon he wakes up will be expected to be got up.

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