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AIBU?

WIBU to drop off 6 month old at nursery at 7 even though I don't start work til 9

276 replies

Katlow · 19/10/2021 07:51

Going back to work tomorrow and LO is 6 months old. He's going to nursery a maximum of 3 days a week but it's going to depend on how my husbands shifts fall. I've got no idea what to expect at drop off. I was considering dropping him off early to avoid the hustle and bustle as nursery have said its 'mad' in the morning.
I was thinking I could throw some joggers and a jumper on and drop him off at around 7/7.30 then come home and get ready for work properly.
But then he's woken up this morning (he's usually up at 7) and he's so happy to see me. I don't know how I'd feel about literally getting him up and dressed then straight out the door. :(
How long does nursery drop off usually take? To get in the building etc. I'm so nervous and feeling a little bit guilty.
Bonus points for any answers which tell me how much your 6 month old loved nursery.

OP posts:
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CallyWW · 19/10/2021 11:48

I would spend the morning together and drop him on the way to work. If he was old enough to be in childcare (3) for longer I would drop earlier if he was asking to go soon as he wakes up. But not a tiny baby.

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hotmeatymilk · 19/10/2021 11:51

Highly trained in being a workyticket.

Not remotely impatient with her, ta. If it takes forever to get to nursery because she wants to look at a puddle or tell me about trains, it takes forever. But thanks for your goady interpretation of my post.

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DiaryofWimpyMumm · 19/10/2021 11:52

When DS2 went I would drop him off at 7:30am as I liked getting into work early and opening up. He was fine and loved it, my Dad used to go pick him up early some days on the days he finished work at 2pm

It worked fine for us

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roarfeckingroarr · 19/10/2021 11:52

@Imposterish I assume a father would have a quick shave and put his tie while baby sits in its play pen/cot/on the floor. Dropping a child very early in the morning so you can spend ages leisurely getting dressed doesn't sit well with me, regardless of the sex of the parent.

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navigationcentral · 19/10/2021 11:53

[quote Learnthroughplay3]@navigationcentral so this is what you tell yourself ok I'm now understanding why your getting so worked up
@8dpwoah nope just hear him screaming when he's not with me and stops when I'm back with him[/quote]
its isn't "your" getting so worked up my dear :). Remember - many people lead successful lives, many people achieve work-life balance, and many people are happy, and indeed, many, many people raise happy, strong, well-adjusted little humans. Your formula isn't the only one.

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roarfeckingroarr · 19/10/2021 11:54

@diaryofwimpymumm that makes sense as yours was being picked up early. A nearly 12 hour day for a young baby is an awful lot.

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Imposterish · 19/10/2021 11:56

@hotmeatymilk

Highly trained in being a workyticket.

Not remotely impatient with her, ta. If it takes forever to get to nursery because she wants to look at a puddle or tell me about trains, it takes forever. But thanks for your goady interpretation of my post.

The high amounts of training has not been in the use of correct language, or indeed the ability to use full-stops in sentences, for instance. Their baby screams if the mother goes for a shower - and they read this as evidence of successful and strong bonding. Which, it sort of, isn't...... but hang on - telling other people their life-choices are leading to inadequately bonded babies is a nasty and often incorrect thing to do, right, so I wont do it - and yet - this person is doing exactly that.
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Learnthroughplay3 · 19/10/2021 11:58

@navigationcentral thanks for the correction i'm dyslexic nothing for you to smile about surely? And my dear how old are you you sound like my grandma

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Anoisagusaris · 19/10/2021 11:59

@Learnthroughplay3 if your child suffers while you have a shower then that’s an issue you have, it means nothing about other people’s children. Showering could be a pain with mine, sometimes they were happy to entertain themselves (just outside en-suite open door), other times I had a quick 30 second shower, or their father took them when he was there. It’s not normal that your child can’t be not held by you for 5 mins or can’t be minded by their own father.

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Kitkat151 · 19/10/2021 12:00

[quote Learnthroughplay3]@hotmeatymilk this is the area I am highly trained in why would I not answer op honestly?telling someone what they want to hear isn't always best, also you sound very impatient with your child maybe you will look back at those moments and wish you enjoyed them instead of seeing them as inconvenient to your day[/quote]
Highly trained in what? Not child development, that’s for sure

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Anoisagusaris · 19/10/2021 12:02

And those asking about fathers - I wouldn’t expect a father to drop a child to early so they can shower/shave. I’d expect both parents (if available) to work out a morning routine that suits them and to take turns showering.

In my case, my hair would dry naturally on the drive to work and I’d often do my makeup while sitting in traffic or in the car park. Breakfast was coffee and toast in the car.

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Lifeisaminestrone · 19/10/2021 12:08

I used to drop mine off at 7am for 4 years and found it brutal to be honest.

I’d have a messy and fun breakfast together! Just leave with 20 min to spare in case any last minute changes for you or baby!

The 7am drop off was particularly unpleasant in Winter but my child was well cared for and ate her breakfast with her friends.

Mine was in nursery 3 days a week going up to 4 days a week when turned 2.

I ask her what she thought of it recently (she’s 7) and response was loved it and has good friends but had not much time at home to watch tv (not that a six month old baby would be watching tv!)

Your child will be cared for well in either setting and whatever you choose won’t be wrong, but if was me I’d drop off later.

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EspressoDoubleShot · 19/10/2021 12:09

Will no one think of the poor abandoned babies & Toddlers crying in daycare. They are ,tear stained and bereft as their mother (it’s always the mothers) wafts away in a fug of perfume to pursue an empty and avaricious life at the altar of mere money

That about covers it,eh?

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SheWoreYellow · 19/10/2021 12:10

Interestingly enough on the length of day point, here
assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/718179/Early_education_and_childcare-statutory_guidance.pdf

says local authorities should
“ A2.4 Encourage providers to offer flexible packages of free hours, subject to the following standards which will enable children to access regular, high quality provision, whilst maximising flexibility for parents and ensuring a degree of stability for providers.
• no session to be longer than 10 hours”

Bottom of page 15.

So that’s where it comes from.

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JoborPlay · 19/10/2021 12:18

This morning I parked up at nursery at 7.56 and was back in my car at 7.58. but DD just skips in without a second thought. Sometimes it's longer because they take time to open the door but I'd say 10minutes is unusually long.

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SoftSheen · 19/10/2021 12:18

I don't think you should put a 5-6 month old baby in nursery for any longer than is actually necessary. If you need to spend a long time getting yourself ready then just get up earlier. Or get quicker. Judge away.

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anonymousanne · 19/10/2021 12:20

If he doesn't wake til 7 dies that mean you would wake him? I wouldn't personally wake mine if I didn't need to. I'd be inclined to get up, get myself sorted before the little one wakes. Another consideration is breakfast/milk. Assuming you wouldn't want to wake too early so would send without breakfast? Our nursery doesn't do breakfast til 9, far too late for mine to wait (although maybe at 6 months a bottle would be sufficient?). We always do breakfast at home before drop off at 7.45/8ish. Ours is still door handover to takes no time at all (good car park). Pick ups take a little longer if there is something to say. Shame you didn't get the opportunity to do some settling in sessions. We are just in the process of that with the youngest, he got 2 free hours (9.30-11.30) then I've booked for 2 morning sessions and 1 full day over a 2 week period. Good practice too to get them all out of the door in time with dad!

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JoborPlay · 19/10/2021 12:22

[quote Learnthroughplay3]@navigationcentral so this is what you tell yourself ok I'm now understanding why your getting so worked up
@8dpwoah nope just hear him screaming when he's not with me and stops when I'm back with him[/quote]
Mine used to scream until he was sick when I was in the shower. At nursery he was fine though - they had CCTV so we could watch them.

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WeAllHaveWings · 19/10/2021 12:24

When ds started in nursery (16 years ago), we were told 10 hours was the maximum they were allowed to have him by more than one nursery. Never checked if that was nursery specific or a legal requirement.

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Frederica852 · 19/10/2021 12:26

@Holidaytan

You’ll have to collect by 5pm as 10 hours is the legal max time in nursery daily.

That's not correct in the UK
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WhatAWasteOfOranges · 19/10/2021 12:27

Personally I would start with the shortest amount of time possible and work up to longer hours if needed. If baby is only 6 months it’s going to be a big adjustment for both of you. Having that time in the morning to play and eat breakfast together might help the transition.

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EspressoDoubleShot · 19/10/2021 12:31

@Holidaytan

You’ll have to collect by 5pm as 10 hours is the legal max time in nursery daily.

Nope. Absolutely not true. As multiple parents on here attest
Workplace nursery inc hospitals open 7am and don’t limit the duration
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ivykaty44 · 19/10/2021 12:38

what a sensible idea, drop of child to get full attention and them you get yourself ready.

good luck tomorrow

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hotmeatymilk · 19/10/2021 12:38

Will no one think of the poor abandoned babies & Toddlers crying in daycare. They are ,tear stained and bereft as their mother (it’s always the mothers) wafts away in a fug of perfume to pursue an empty and avaricious life at the altar of mere money
Grin I don’t waft, though. I scuttle, cackling evilly and shouting “Begone, foul child!”

Will it cost you more to do an early drop-off, OP? Ours charges a fiver for the 7.30-7.45am slot. Then it’s bedlam at 7.45am. Proper leisurely at the dirty stop-out hour of 8.45am I usually manage. And they only start breakfast at 9am so we do that at home first anyway; check whether he’ll be fed.

And you can always change your mind if a 7.30am drop-off doesn’t work! You’re not beholden to any parenting decision you ever make – sorry if this is too nuanced for an internet discussion but it turns out if you don’t like dropping your baby off early and you don’t need to, you can change that?

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CrabbyCreek · 19/10/2021 12:39

@EspressoDoubleShot

Yup my kids attend nursery from 7am to 6pm 5day week Mon -Fri they love it.Thriving happy well balanced kids.
No attachment issues
No mum guilt
No tears

Awful
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