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Original poster

To be unhappy about this birthday gift from DH

174 replies

annaop · 18/10/2021 20:46

An electric toothbrush? Really?! Wrapped up nicely, as my 'main' present. I could barely conceal my disappointment. Married over two decades.

OP posts:
TSSDNCOP · 19/10/2021 13:25

My birthday and Xmas are a month apart.

DSIS and I have learned the hard way that at no point from 1st September do we even casually mention something functional and stupefyingly dull in passing to DM that could be wrapped and presented. You can see her ears prick up as she files a potential present opportunity away. Examples:

Tumble dryer
Drill
Solar garden path lights
Car vacuum
Shed (not wrapped but giant bow applied, she wasn't giving up that easily)
Toothbrushes all
Tea towels
Telescope
Typewriter
Steam mop
Literally anything in the Lakeland store

FreedomFaith · 19/10/2021 13:40

Actually pre packaged toiletries are the ultimate in 'can't be arsed to actually choose something personal so fuck it, old lady can have some crap I bought from Boots'

Maybe they like the brand and like the product? So what if you don't like it, on my list for Christmas is stuff for my hobby and animals, it would be utter shite for you but brilliant for me. A present can be whatever the person likes. If they like it and want it, buy it. Who cares if it's not what you'd like? I buy stuff for my mum that I don't like and wouldn't use, but she likes it. That's the point of giving presents.

ElevenOG · 19/10/2021 13:42

I was also given an electric toothbrush by DP, he gets me very practical gifts even though I'm very sentimental and love cute little bits of jewellery etc, whereas he's more of a "oooh someone cut her up on the M4 so she MUST want a dash cam" kinda person. To be fair practical gifts are always well used and usually too expensive for me to buy myself, they're just not particularly exciting in that moment.

Werehamster · 19/10/2021 13:45

Maybe they like the brand and like the product? So what if you don't like it, on my list for Christmas is stuff for my hobby and animals, it would be utter shite for you but brilliant for me. A present can be whatever the person likes. If they like it and want it, buy it. Who cares if it's not what you'd like? I buy stuff for my mum that I don't like and wouldn't use, but she likes it. That's the point of giving presents.

Right!? But the OP didn't like it at all, did she? Confused

Original poster
annaop · 19/10/2021 13:48

I'm not materialistic either. In the past he's bought me jewellery eg Silver necklaces, white gold earrings, he's bought surprise gifts related to my hobby at the particular time, he used to buy me lingerie but that stopped a few years ago. I don't expect anything valuable but I do like a bit of thought to go into it.
I'm starting to think that the electric toothbrush was some sort of mix up and that the present he thought he was giving me went to someone else and I got there's! Either that or he got somebody else to wrap it and they wrapped the wrong thing!
I asked my daughter and she said that he had mentioned it to her as a potential present and she didn't think it was a good idea but she didn't tell him that so as not to hurt his feelings. She told him that when he was ready to buy something to consult with her as she could think of a zillion things.

OP posts:
Original poster
annaop · 19/10/2021 13:50

I don't like the way electric toothbrushes vibrate your head.

He'd be better off buying me a year's supply of those marvellous inter-dental sticks.

OP posts:
Werehamster · 19/10/2021 13:56

How about throwing him a bone and just telling him what you want?

I don't really get why people like surprises so much. surely it's better to get a present you actually want.

FreedomFaith · 19/10/2021 14:26

@Werehamster

Maybe they like the brand and like the product? So what if you don't like it, on my list for Christmas is stuff for my hobby and animals, it would be utter shite for you but brilliant for me. A present can be whatever the person likes. If they like it and want it, buy it. Who cares if it's not what you'd like? I buy stuff for my mum that I don't like and wouldn't use, but she likes it. That's the point of giving presents.

Right!? But the OP didn't like it at all, did she? Confused

I know I already said that on earlier posts and it's fine for her not to like it. I'm replying to a poster who called op precious for not liking the present. She's not being precious, if she thinks it's a crap gift, then that's her opinion. I would too.
ancientgran · 19/10/2021 14:27

@Werehamster

How about throwing him a bone and just telling him what you want?

I don't really get why people like surprises so much. surely it's better to get a present you actually want.

Amen to that. My family say I'm hard to buy for, I keep saying I love an amazon voucher so there is money sitting in my account when a book I want comes out or a M&S voucher as I will use it a few times to buy myself a treat in the foodhall. But no it falls on deaf ears so I smile and say how lovely for something I don't need or want.
Bumpsadaisie · 19/10/2021 14:29

Clutching at straws .... is it possible he intended a more ... creative use ... for it?Wink

Threewheeler1 · 19/10/2021 14:36

@ClareBlue

So you wouldn't have been impressed with a skip for cleaning out the sheds thenGrin (2019)
You absolutely win! Grin I thought second hand bricks (that I had to unload uphill myself) were bad but a skip is another level! GrinGrin
ancientgran · 19/10/2021 15:00

I'd love a skip but only if he agreed I could fill with anything I like. He's a hoarder and getting rid of a skipful of his junk is my idea of heaven.

TatianaBis · 19/10/2021 15:01

@annaop

I don't like the way electric toothbrushes vibrate your head.

He'd be better off buying me a year's supply of those marvellous inter-dental sticks.

Neither did I but you get used to it very quickly.
80sMum · 19/10/2021 15:19

Grin Oh dear, sorry but that made me chuckle OP! It reminds me of the early years of our marriage, when DH used to attempt to buy presents.
The only decent present he ever bought me was a camera, for my 21st birthday. Other than that, I received, for Christmases and birthdays: saucepans, a washing-up brush, a potato peeler, a hand-held vacuum cleaner, a pack of dusters, oven gloves and the like. They were all things that we needed for the house, but not what I would think of as a present.

I got rather fed up, so suggested that we just stop buying each other presents - and that solved the problem! We've been present free for about 37 years now. I highly recommend it!

mbosnz · 19/10/2021 15:28

My Dad made the potentially lethal error of buying Mum an axe for her birthday once. . .

JudgeJ · 19/10/2021 17:22

@Brefugee

It actually is very odd because when I think about what my adult son, for instance, buys his grandmothers, they are always very nice presents, usually from Boots, selection packs of soap, body lotion etc. My son is a young man but even he knows that you can always rely on pre-packaged gift packs if you're feeling clueless (as a man) about what older women might like.

If my DH bought me a gift pack of smellies I would shove them where the sun doesn't shine. In fact if anyone i know bought me any of those i wouldn't be happy. Maybe older women pretend to like those things because that's what they've been given since time immemorial?

If you give them a list, it's not a present. It's making buying the things you want needlessly complicated.

it really isn't. It is acknowledging that there are some things that would be a complete waste of money - and that these things wouldn't be.

If you are married to someone, the tiniest bit of courtesy would be to know them well enough to buy them something.

So, OP, what are you going to do? In your shoes? I'd ask him to exchange it. And i would be instructing my DCs about what things are good presents and what things aren't.

My late OH was advised by our daughter that I liked Obsession perfume so he got that, for the next three or four years!
SunshineCake1 · 19/10/2021 17:30

The key word is might. I'd never buy someone a gift on the basis of someone else saying they "might like it."

Horsemad · 19/10/2021 18:38

On the whole, DH is far better than I at present giving. Early in our marriage he did give me one of those utensil sets for the kitchen, peeler, masher, slotted spoon, palette knife & garlic press. Oh, and the bar to suspend them from.
I accepted his gift and bought him a drill for Christmas (he hates doing DIY 😆). From that point on, he saw the light & never bought anything for the house as my gift again!

maddy68 · 19/10/2021 18:51

I once had a pair of pillows .....

LaurenKelsey · 19/10/2021 22:00

@Werehamster

Ignore the comments from the cool wife brigade.

Of course it's a shit present and I'd definitely wrap it up and give it back to him as a Christmas present.

I’m not a member of the “cool wife brigade”. I am long divorced after a long marriage and very, very happily single. I buy my own presents. As often and whatever I like. 😂
KarmaStar · 19/10/2021 22:07

Be grateful you have a loving DH,
That he bought you a gift,wrapped it lovingly,remembered the correct date.
Many don't do anything.
It's ok to be secretly disappointed but no to rubbish his actions on the internet,however incognito you may be.

tigerbear · 19/10/2021 23:07

@KarmaStar what a load of rubbish. Your standards are set way too low!

browneyes77 · 20/10/2021 08:47

@annaop

An electric toothbrush? Really?! Wrapped up nicely, as my 'main' present. I could barely conceal my disappointment. Married over two decades.
My DP bought me the exact same thing one year. (Been together nearly 8 years now- his presents have got much better - but only because he asks me what I want! Grin)

Apparently I’d mentioned in passing that I’d thought about buying one once and therefore he decided to get one for me.

I tried to hide the look of disappointment on my face that it wasn’t the iPad he’d talked about getting me, but it was clear I was miffed about the gift.

I got the iPad the following year… Grin

2lsinllama · 20/10/2021 08:52

@KarmaStar

Be grateful you have a loving DH, That he bought you a gift,wrapped it lovingly,remembered the correct date. Many don't do anything. It's ok to be secretly disappointed but no to rubbish his actions on the internet,however incognito you may be.
If you are for real then many women have set their standards way too low.

What is wrong with telling people what you would like for a present? Surprises rarely go to plan it would seem.

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