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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be unhappy about this birthday gift from DH

174 replies

annaop · 18/10/2021 20:46

An electric toothbrush? Really?! Wrapped up nicely, as my 'main' present. I could barely conceal my disappointment. Married over two decades.

OP posts:
mafted · 19/10/2021 08:27

It's not a nice gift if you didn't ask for it, like them or wanted one. A gift is something the person would enjoy to have, so if can be anything in the end. As long as it suits that person.
Precisely. I'd be horrified if DH gave me a puppy although my children would be delighted
I wouldn't mind a toothbrush. I wouldn't be overjoyed but I'm a bit weird about spending money on myself so end up using a broken ones for ages Blush

Foolsrule · 19/10/2021 08:31

Totally thoughtless gift. Electric or not, he bought you something that the majority of the Western world use as standard every single day. He may as well have bought you a toilet flush handle or a tap. It just shows a total and utter lack of respect, planning and forethought. It’s not like it’s a surprise when your birthday is on the same day every year 🙄

Shizen · 19/10/2021 08:33

Unless you have a gifting culture of giving each other practical gifts, it’s a crap gift OP and I’d be disappointed!

My DH & I send each other links and ideas throughout the year, so we each have a list of presents to choose from at birthdays and Christmas. Works well because you get something you want but it’s still a semi surprise as you’re not sure which item it will be

PaddingtonsHat · 19/10/2021 08:39

Reminds me of the year I got a rechargeable battery pack for my phone. He was so chuffed he’d solved my crappy battery problem. I had a little cry

TatianaBis · 19/10/2021 08:40

I love my Phillips Sonic toothbrush. DH bought me one - not for a birthday or Christmas but I would have been glad of it for either. I’m grateful to have it and he’s right they’re much better than ordinary toothbrushes. I wouldn’t have bothered to buy it for myself.

thinkofablinkingnamewoman · 19/10/2021 08:44

@DangerousCity What a gorgeous puppy!

Smeds · 19/10/2021 08:45

Last birthday I was bought a David Walliams book. So I could read it with 5yo DC. He was giving me the gift of spending time with my child. I'm a SAHM and we were in lockdown.

Pythonista · 19/10/2021 08:48

Wow. Precious much?

I was 50 last year and the only people who got me a gift were my workmates - friends and family didn't bother.

Peridot1 · 19/10/2021 08:48

I got a blood pressure monitor one year. I was not impressed.

I now give him a wish list for Xmas and birthday and he does better.

JayoftheRed · 19/10/2021 08:51

It depends on whether practical gifts are your thing, or whether you think of birthdays as a chance to suggest something you can't usually afford/justify.

We live on a pretty tight budget but we have money put aside for birthdays etc, so I always present DH with a list a couple of weeks before my birthday. I'm not a greedy person, it's rarely more than a booklist with maybe a particular item of clothing thrown in. He is welcome to choose his own gifts, but if he's stuck for ideas, there is the list. He usually gets me something from the list and then little extras like my favourite chocolate and funky socks or similar.

He however is far more practical so I've been known to buy him a drill, a strimmer, stuff for his bike, as well as little extras like chocolate etc. Stuff he needed as well as wanted.

If he bought me an electric toothbrush, which I hadn't asked for, as my main gift, I'd be gutted. And I love my £5 from Lidl electric toothbrush. So YANBU OP!

Dartfordwarblerautumn · 19/10/2021 08:52

@Spanielsarepainless

Nothing with a plug should be given as a present unless specifically requested!
I got given an ultrasonic bath to clean jewellery. That was a surprise and I was delighted. When I was new in work I worked in a laboratory and we used to stick our jewellery in the ultrasonic baths. I always missed doing that and moaned a few times over the years. Somehow OHs remembered it one year. It was a nice swanky scientific one, not a cheap one - is still going strong and I love how shiny my jewellery comes out even now
ClareBlue · 19/10/2021 09:47

So you wouldn't have been impressed with a skip for cleaning out the sheds thenGrin
(2019)

Dogscanteatonions · 19/10/2021 09:47

@Pythonista

Wow. Precious much?

I was 50 last year and the only people who got me a gift were my workmates - friends and family didn't bother.

Jesus it's not at all precious! Do you not see how sad it is that none of your friends and family bothered with your birthday? I feel sorry for you.
Dogscanteatonions · 19/10/2021 09:53

I do hate this on Mumsnet how some posters almost relish the fact no one bothers on their birthday and that they don't care.

I WANT to spoil my partner, I want him to feel special and loved - he's just the same and we both put effort into finding gifts that each other will like. What's so hard about that? He finds it a bit harder than I do so sometimes he'll ask me for ideas or we'll go window shopping together.

OP you are absolutely right to be upset. Unless you'd expressed a very clear desire for one but couldn't afford it is a shit present

3scape · 19/10/2021 09:54

I'm not precious about gifts. But a toothbrush is an essential not a gift.

ancientgran · 19/10/2021 09:56

@3scape

I'm not precious about gifts. But a toothbrush is an essential not a gift.
You can get a 30p one or a £100 one so they do vary.
ancientgran · 19/10/2021 09:58

I heard someone, no idea who, explaining the difference between a gift and a present. A gift was something specifically produced as a gift like a smellies set from Boots or a box of hankies. A present was something people would buy normally (if they could afford it or wanted it) so a present could be a diamond necklace of a 5 pack of socks from M&S. I found it interesting and I always try to buy a present rather than a gift.

Coogee · 19/10/2021 10:00

Nothing with a plug should be given as a present unless specifically requested!

My husband bought me a cordless vacuum cleaner two birthdays ago, so I suppose that is OK.

I love it, by the way.

SmallPrawnEnergy · 19/10/2021 10:02

Maybe it was a hint?

MrsSkylerWhite · 19/10/2021 10:10

Standrewsschool

I’d be disappointed with a toothbrush also. A bunch of flowers and chocolates would have been a lot better.“

Funny isn’t it, how different we all are. Can’t stand cut flowers (love plants, though) or chocolates.
I’d love an electric toothbrush or flosser.

ancientgran · 19/10/2021 10:13

@MrsSkylerWhite I'll go one step further, don't want flowers and don't want plants either. Every windowsill is full of plants, I seem to spend more time caring for plants than caring for myself. Chocolates however are always welcome.

Bluesheep8 · 19/10/2021 10:14

A toothbrush is the kind of thing we’d pick up with our weekly shop.

Electric toothbrushes are expensive though aren't they? I wouldn't say they're a weekly shop item

InFrontBy · 19/10/2021 10:24

Been with DH for 46 years, married for 38 years. If you don't want to be disappointed, give your partner a list.

ineedsun · 19/10/2021 10:26

@MrsSkylerWhite

I’d be delighted with one of those water flosser things (married over 3 decades) 🤷‍♀️
Don’t. I bought one, they’re messy and dangerous unless you’re wearing goggles!
WingingItSince1973 · 19/10/2021 10:30

This is no joke my BIL bought SIL for their first anniversary a glow in the dark ant farm! Now she's not into ants or any small creatures. She was so upset. We had words and I think his gifts have improved as they are still married 15 years later 🤣

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