To ask what it's like to not have to worry about money?

[dailydreamin]

I was chatting with my dh about winning the lotto (as you do) then it got us to thinking because we don't earn much really. What is it like to just have a really good wage (like 4-5k or more per month) and have no money worries?

I would love to just go food shopping without adding in my head. I would love to just be able to see the DC's shoes are getting tight and go and buy new shoes for them without stressing about what I will have to forgo.

So what is it really like? Is it like I think? Do you just NOT think about money at all? Do you just buy as you need (obviously everyone has their limits though) without thinking?

No idea.

@WaggleToWarlock

We have a fairly high income - about 10x the figure you mention. One thing I've noticed is that things I used to find aspirational I no longer care about - so I used to lust after fancy cars, but now that I could pop out and buy an Aston Martin or two if I really wanted, I'm actually quite happy with my 10-year-old VW. Same goes for fancy clothes, restaurants, jewelry, etc. Although fancy hotels are still quite appealing!

Fairly high = extremely high then. Think of all the good you could do with that.

We don't have to worry much about money. I'm always humbled on here when I see how many people have to watch their grocery spending so closely. I'm embarrassed to say what we spend on food but we spend quite a lot more than most people seem to mention on food budget threads and we eat vegetarian. I won't buy ridiculously expensive stuff but if I want something I usually buy it without worrying too much what it costs ( within limits of course)

I still budget though, it is just that my budgets are generous compared to when I first started work when I was very skint for years. For instance we don't have many expensive holidays abroad but we could fairly easily nowadays if we wanted.

I do feel very very lucky .

In my 20s when I set up my company, I had money for the first time ever. I grew up with very little and worked weekend jobs, babysitting, making and selling stuff etc and always had an entrepreneurial spirit. The business grew quickly and during the 'best' years financially I remember frequently just going to a cities I liked, booking hotels that took my fancy when I got there and having room service, going out, whatever I wanted and being positively giddy I didn't have to worry about checking my balance as there was always enough. Loved spoiling people and surprising them. Random acts of kindness in secret too. A real buzz.

Then boom. Life changing car accident, a year out of working, permanent injuries and conditions as a result of the crash... have clawed my way back to now being ok financially but don't think I'll be 'rich' again which does make me feel sad sometimes as it is so incredibly freeing not to worry. Especially as someone who grew up poor. Feels a bit cruel I had a taste of it for five years or so then it was taken away without me having a choice. But I was lucky to have those years and those memories.

I very nearly died in the accident so when I feel sad about what I lost, I have to remind myself I was really fucking lucky in the grand scheme of things.

I hope my children are grafters and get to experience the buzz of working their arse off and it paying off, because I know that so many people work their arse off and it doesn't pay off. I was lucky as well as a hard worker and I appreciate that.

I’ve been in both positions. The real value of money imo is peace of mind. Above a certain threshold it provides you with a buffer against misfortune and the possibility of options, both of which can make a big difference in life. However, after that I think it’s overrated. I got to a point where I started to earn more in my career and it actually made me quite depressed because the job stopped me from enjoying life. I’m not talking crazy money but it was more than I was used to and left me feeling very empty. Since then I’ve moved to a job that makes me much happier and have time to enjoy the things in life that I really value, none of which cost anything. There has been research into this and although it’s probably a bit dated now, I think they found that above an income of £55k, money doesn’t make people much happier.

We don't have money worries at all but dh still worries endlessly and saves diligently (childhood poverty). I shop at Lidl, I bulk out meals, not had a haircut since 2018, rarely buy myself clothes, stair carpet falling apart etc. However, I never add up what I'm spending in supermarket or worry how much I've spent in a particular month and will get treats every so often like nice coffee instead of Lidl own, I'm generous with gifts for others, I persuade dh to fork out on things sometimes eg. Party for kids, short breaks. So, in short, it's definitely one less thing to worry about but doesn't mean we live like Kings.

We're well off and it's very. very lovely. DH grew up in a council house with a violent father and whilst I had a lovely childhood, we didn't have much money - so we both really appreciate it.

I’m in a position where I don’t have to worry about money and it is nice. To be honest I had a very comfortable childhood and have never really had to worry about money. But that doesn’t mean life is easier. And it doesn’t mean I don’t think about what things costs, is it worth it? Etc. Just because I could, I don’t waste money.
To be honest it isn’t having money that means I don’t worry about it. I used to even though I never needed to. What changed that was rally tough times. Being seriously ill and various family members going through equally tough times. When you are stuck in a hospital bed and you have family suffering, you suddenly realise that your healthy bank balance can’t fix everything.
That said, it’s lovely to know that you don’t stress if you go to the supermarket and they are out of your usual brand, you can just chuck the high end option in instead of missing out or going for the inferior option.
I also appreciate how being generous with money can make other people’s lives a little bit better. I was in hospital a while ago and a girl in the next bed had nothing with her and no friends or family she could get to bring anything in. So I gave her £20 to go to the hospital shop and get what she wanted. She actually cried with gratitude. That was nice. Or if a friend is having a tough time you can arrange a delivery of flowers. Doing those things is actually a better feeling than chucking things in the trolley willy nilly in Waitrose.

It's all relative, really. I'd say I'm financially better off than you, OP, but I'm not loaded.

I don't have to add things up when I go to the supermarket. But I do wince a bit if the total is unusually high. I don't have to put anything back though.

New kids shoes - the money is there to buy them, but I am still a bit shocked by the price and hate having to buy them too often.

I buy own brand stuff, my car and husbands car are both second hand.

Back when we had less I would think we'd be loaded on the salaries we are currently on. And we're not. And I do wonder the same as you quite often - what must it be like to never have to worry about it.

And I think, basically, you would just worry about something else.

So yeah, being loaded would be nice. But it really can't buy you happiness.

I’ve been on both ends. Whoever up thread said that money worries stick with you, is correct. When I married DH, we had only what fit in our car, which was a small, older sedan. Our first place was a 300 sq ft apartment studio with no bathroom sink.

As a child, his family lost everything; and mine, although well off, hardly spent a penny and even some utilities were rationed, although my father made six figures at the time (over twenty years ago). I know they regret it now, but I had fewer childhood treats than my husband did. I wasn’t allowed to spend my own money without my father’s permission, and I earned my own scholarship to college when my parents refused to help me out. They didn’t pay a cent.

I had to give up my own dream job in my twenties due to health reasons, and worked incredibly hard to build a business in my husband’s field so at least one of us could do what we love. I made a successful go of it, and we are now earning a substantial amount. I’ve earned what I have, and am the main owner of our business, but I still worry about money.

It’s real. The one place I do spend is for my son, who now has the childhood treats I didn’t. Nothing extravagant, just the little things I was denied: an ice cream on a beach day, a special toy at Christmas, the ability to choose his own treats with his money, things like that.

I do think it sticks with you in funny ways. As an adult, when I had my first successful job I bought myself the toy I had asked for every Christmas as a child (very, very affordable for my parents at the time), but was always denied because I would “grow out of it.” I displayed it on my shelf, and when my mother saw it, she cried.

Life is funny, and the main thing I think is to be as happy as you can with every step down the road of life. No matter what my DH and I have gone through, we’ve always had each other. I’ll never forget the days of going through the sofa cushions to see if we had enough for our dinner, or making pasta in a coffee pot because we had no stove. My sister has never quite forgiven me for being happier with my whistle than she was with her pony (Count of Monte Cristo reference there), and when I finally earned my metaphorical pony she stopped speaking to me.

The who is more important than the how much, in the end, although money can make things much easier.

Ok you asked.
I have never worried about money. I have however always been careful not to spend thoughtlessly. I always look online and buy our food according to what’s on offer. Not because I need to at all but it’s just in my mindset. When my boys were young I was a big fan of clothes from supermarkets and TK Maxx. When they got older I did enjoy indulging their clothing desires but never to a ridiculous extent.
My boys were privately educated and very well supported at uni.
My husband and I are retired now he’s 60 I’m 58. We’re building a home for our retirement on the banks of the Thames, we’re spending shocking amounts of money to have everything as we want it.
I know I’m extremely privileged.
In our retirement we expect to enjoy ourselves, eat out, go to the theatre, have mini breaks etc regularly. We expect to have multiple luxury holidays a year.
We have planned our new home so that if we can no longer get up the stairs we have a lovely downstairs bedroom, we will also have an additional downstairs bedroom and money to pay for a carer if we should need that.
We came from absolutely no wealth, we both left school at 16. We worked very, very hard and made many sacrifices along the way.

Actually it does mean life is easier, it doesn’t mean life is worry free, is what I mean!

(Monthly income about 7k before tax and I still shop at Lidl, no private schools, not a massive mortgage, no private health, old VW car, 16 year old TV etc).

But that doesn’t mean life is easier. And it doesn’t mean I don’t think about what things costs, is it worth it? Etc. Just because I could, I don’t waste money.

I think this is quite flippant, of course having money is easier. I still worry about money but it's a heck of a lot easier to worry about how many holidays we can afford next year vs if we can afford the electricity bill this month. It's extremely ignorant to claim all money worries as the same.

@AtleastitsnotMonday sorry just seen you corrected your statement!

My husband and I both take home in the 4-5k a month range. Essentially, I don't really think about money at all, and certainly don't worry about it. We have a large cushion of spare funds, we always spend less than we earn without trying. We don't work to any kind of budget, and I never really know how much we have (usually more than I think, as much of my husband's money builds up in a business account, so I don't immediately see it). I literally never think, if only I had more money we could do XXXX. I have my " if only"s, but the constraint is never really money.

On the other hand, part of the reason I don't have to think about money, is because my spending habits have not entirely adjusted and are based on a lower income. I still quite often look for cheaper options for groceries and household items etc, doing calculations about price per 100g, and ruling out some things as too expensive. Occasionally I realise I am being ridiculous and have to convince myself to "just buy it". There are lots of things I could probably easily afford but can't bring myself to spend lots on (clothes, jewellery, expensive hotels, cars). We also use state schools. With different habits, the money could be spent very easily.

Despite this, I'm still regularly shocked by just how much we have spent in a month when I look at my bank statement. All those modest amounts add up to a lot of thousands!! It's not a problem. We have more than enough, but it can be an eye opener.

I do realise we are very lucky. I had long years of being a student (excessively long post-graduate study). But since then have never had to think about money each as our earning habits have kept well ahead of our spending habits without really trying. I do sometimes wonder how people on average earnings manage.

We're pretty well off, but still need to be conscious of money. I don't check prices in the supermarket, but we have two kids in university in the US where it is very expensive. And there are big expenses that come out of nowhere. We had to replace the roof on our house a couple of years ago, I've needed lots of dental work not covered by insurance, etc. A lot of our retirement accounts are invested in stocks, so that's something else to worry about.

And we're within a few years of retirement, so our time to save for retirement and put money away for the kids is coming to a close. DH and I are both savers. I suspect it's going to be an uncomfortable transition psychologically to stop saving and just start spending down what we have.

I am very grateful for what we have but still worry about the future.

DH earns a bit more than that, we do have a lovely lifestyle but as I'm from a poor background I find I still worry about money.

Me and DH between us earn over the amount in your OP. We're comfortable but also shit with money. So, yes, we don't think about what we spend - but we really should. By the time the mortgage, bills, nursery fees, paying off both cars, after-school clubs, hobbies, food, clothes - there should be enough left for us to save a bit, but we spend it on ridiculous things like take-aways. It's stupid and it annoys me but when I'm staring at an empty fridge at 8:30pm I still can't make myself pop to the Sainsbury's Local rather than bring up Deliveroo on my phone. Only writing that down has made me realise what a collosal waste of money it is.

[quote userchange987]@AtleastitsnotMonday sorry just seen you corrected your statement![/quote]
No worries, when I read back what I wrote I cringed, it’s not what I was trying to say, hence the correction!

My DH earns well and we don’t worry about spending money, although we don’t actually spend much anyway. We’re very careful as it’s just habit from years of desperate savings and working multiple jobs.

So we don’t worry about day to day spending.

I worry about what happens if something happened to DH. He has income protection insurance, and life insurance, but I worry about how my life would be if I had to go back to worrying about how to pay the bills. He has much higher earning potential than me. He earns 5 times what I do.

We have a high income (£8k+) and no children. However, we still worry about money. Not in the same way, but we do feel as though we easily overspend.

However, we can just buy what we want and do what we want when we want. We don’t see dinners out as a “treat”. We eat out whenever we want but usually 2-3 times a week, spending a few hundred. We can book activities etc and we have a fancy gym membership / health club. We go on lots of holidays too.

However, we are both super stressed out and we are not happy.

I have gone from paying a mortgage on my own, (with second hand furniture, no holidays and no money to spare) to having enough not to have to think about what I spend. However, ingrained habits die hard. I can't justify paying hundreds for clothes,top of the range cosmetics etc. I still look for value and bargains when food shopping. It's nice to know that repairs to the home can be afforded, that the car can be replaced if it dies etc. The chief benefit is security I suppose.

@Timeforabiscuit

It's fucking wonderful.

Dh and I ground out for years, high mortgage, low wages and high childcare meant we were always just getting by. It was amazing when it all turned good, and yes it's just that you think what you would like first, rather than could you stretch to it.

Dh was main earner, now has a stage 4 brain tumour, so it has all gone spectacularly to shit, but I know how to cut my cloth, we've ground it out before and we haven't forgotten how to bulk out meals etc.

Im sorry to hear this devastating news too.

I went from being broke to being comfortably off and the main difference is it gives you more confidence. You do worry about different things though. Health, the way the government is screwing us all, difficult people. I have found that once I’d bought all the things I’d spent 20 years longing for, shopping wasn’t a big deal for me.