To ask what it's like to not have to worry about money?

[dailydreamin]

I was chatting with my dh about winning the lotto (as you do) then it got us to thinking because we don't earn much really. What is it like to just have a really good wage (like 4-5k or more per month) and have no money worries?

I would love to just go food shopping without adding in my head. I would love to just be able to see the DC's shoes are getting tight and go and buy new shoes for them without stressing about what I will have to forgo.

So what is it really like? Is it like I think? Do you just NOT think about money at all? Do you just buy as you need (obviously everyone has their limits though) without thinking?

I've had periods of my life unemployed and on benefits and periods of my life earning a good salary (not £4-5k per month but up to half that).

Even though I'm in a very fortunate position right now, I do worry about being extravagant. Grew up in a family where money was tight and it was drummed into us about not wasting money. I was once given some money to go to the shop, bought a magazine and my mum made me return it and get my money back.

As a result, I have hang ups about money. I'm not sure even if my salary doubled that I would not think about it. I think a lot depends on your emotional relationship with money. The TV programme Spendaholics was fascinating on this topic.

I don’t think about what I spend but I don’t go mad on designer stuff either, only if I see something I love. I have no idea how much we spend on food, just buy what’s needed. We all have problems, this just isn’t one of ours. I think it’s just one less thing to worry about.

I know a couple of people IRL from truly wealthy backgrounds and one difference I've noticed is that although they don't live flashy lifestyles, they expect to have money for real luxuries.

One has a wine cellar, for example, and the contents are worth thousands. I just couldn't spend that sort of money on wine, even if I could afford it (even I know wine can be a valuable asset). Another goes on amazing holidays - again, I just couldn't spend that sort of money.

The rest of the time they seem like everyone else, albeit with bigger houses.

It’s incredible. I grew up poor, and don’t really look at the price of anything.

I've never really been poor, the least amount of money I had was when I was a student, but even then I didn't worry about shopping or bills, I just bought what I wanted.

The nicest thing about not worrying about money is being able to treat your loved ones. My parents had their 40th anniversary a couple of years ago so we sent them on a luxury cruise. My mum had a big birthday last year so we bought her a top of the range car. A friend of mine was going through tough times, so I sent her a Jo Malone basket. Another friend broke her leg and still had to look after 3 DC, so I sent her a John Lewis hamper.

I wish everyone could have the money they need to buy the necessities in life without worrying about them. I hope things get better for you soon OP.

We earn more than that amount and I don't worry about money at all. I have been poor (on benefits) and I do appreciate my privilege now, but at the same time I've got used to it. We don't worry about food shopping costs or things like shoes (but I tend to look for promo offers when online grocery shopping and often buy shoes in the sale/ex-display websites - old habits die hard). We're planning to go to the US in a few months for a holiday and don't have to save for it or worry about the cost (but we will travel economy and book a nice but not luxury apartment). Looking at private schools for our DD, who is currently in nursery (although I'm a sahm) and the factors we're looking at are ethos/academics/facilities - fees aren't a factor at all.

I'm not an anxious person in general though and even when I was on benefits, I budgeted well and was never in a position where I was choosing between heating and eating, and my dc always had shoes that fit, so I've never really been the type of person to lie awake worrying about money at night. What's different now is the quality of life is much better - more premium food, long-haul holiday instead of UK caravans, branded shoes instead of supermarket.

Human nature is that as you lose one thing to worry about, you just gain another.

@madisonbridges

Human nature is that as you lose one thing to worry about, you just gain another.

Yes/no. I might still worry about things but not with the intensity I did when the heating bill was due and my bank account was low.

Im not sure you can compare worrying about whether the menu for your dinner party is special enough with the worry you feel at the till when you think you might have to put something back. All worries are not equal.

@PinkiOcelot

I would love to know too. Must be lovely. They says money doesn’t buy you happiness, but I’d sure love to find out what it was like not having to think about it.

My husband always had to. He had to walk to cashpoint to draw money on the morning he was paid to be able to afford fuel to work etc. Now we don't ever worry about being able to pay a bill and go shopping and dont have to add it up as we go - though we also don't have expensive tastes so its not that we are so well off that we can just do what we like and we still have an extremely modest house and cars etc. But none of that crippling worry. It is peaceful and feels safe. The only money worries we have are more future ones which scare us into saving alot now while we have it - probably because we know what it can be like if you don't

When my 3 children were small and even until they reached teens I had to count every penny. DH and I shopped frugally, never bought things or clothing we did not really need. The children got 1 big Xmas gift and 2 smaller gifts then 6 stocking fillers. Now my DC are all grown up and I am much better off since marrying second DH. All the things I had to save up so hard for before I no longer have to I can just go out and buy it without worrying. I rarely buy things for myself though. I enjoy treating dgc and DC.

@Dexy007

I know what you mean OP. We don't worry about money now but I used to feel so frustrated walking around Asda thinking ' I don't want an Audi, Christ I don't even want a Ford Fiesta I just want to be able to stick the latest paperback and the tricolour pasta in my basket without feeling guilty while I do the shop!'

I'm not going to patronise you by pretending I would rather go back to those times but we are high earners now and it comes at a price.

Every single day, when I go to bed - even weekends - I panic and think about how I didn't do enough today and I've let my team and clients down.

My husband asks if I want to go for a hike ride or to grab a pint and I always say no because my to do list never clears.

At least I am very well paid for my stress levels - some people have the worst of both worlds with their jobs - and I wouldn't swap it, but remember no money worries often translates to a lot of worries in other areas.

This is a good point. I have a lot of professional worry I didnt have when I earned less

Money relativity is an interesting concept. When I was early 20's, I had no money. I earned a low wage, lived in London and could barely afford food after my essentials were paid. That's not the case now and I earn what I would consider a half decent salary however, my living costs have considerably increased. In some ways, I worry more about money now than I did when I had none. My issue is that I have a lot more to lose if things were to go wrong. I think everyone worries unless they are like super super rich.

I don't worry about money now, and that's very nice and I know that I am very lucky and privileged. There are lots of expensive things that other people spend money on that I don't want or need at all - fancy bags, perfume, jewellery, make-up, beauty treatments - and in some ways we live quite frugally, but we have the heating on when we want, buy food we like, etc.

It’s great when money isn’t a source of stress. We don’t never think about money & we do have a budget but there is a massive difference having a budget as a target of where you want to come out on shopping or whatever and only having x amount you can possibly spend on an essential before you have to go without a different essential. Certainly I’m aware it gives us the luxury of doing lots of things without giving any real thought to the cost.

Somebody on this thread said higher income, higher outgoings but I disagree. I could buy a brand new car with the cash I’ve got in my bank account tomorrow if I wanted but we live a reasonable lifestyle with little spending. We have a reasonable sized house with no mortgage. We wouldn’t buy bigger because 1) who cleans it 2) I’m not doing gardening what a waste of life 3) maintenance. We need painting done and it cysts thousands. I can’t stand spending money on things so I drive a cheap car. I’m not interested in a big expensive car. I’m inside it so why would I give two hoots that it says Porsche outside. I enjoy being able to pick up the tab when I dine out with friends and say yes to whatever I want

I hate talking about money. It goes against good manners. Bit you asked, and this is anonymous, so here goes. We have at least a million sitting in the bank and several million in property and shares. We live an outwardly very humble life. Our car is 10 years old. One three bedroom house, one beach home. We spend a bit on travel. However I get most of my kids clothes from the local op shop or eBay. My clothes are good quality but not flashy. I never think about grocery bills but my husband goes out of his way to get a good petrol deal. I never spend on beauty treatments; I'm the opposite of a trophy wife! I still work, because I like it.
What does it feel like? Liberating. It's weird feeling like I could buy pretty much any house or
car I want on a whim. I don't want any of them; I quite like my home and my minivan. Sometimes we feel like we should behave more "rich". Most of our friends and family are millionaires or at least wealthy/well-healed. So we are surrounded by it really.

Somebody else described it correctly. Liberating.
I had nothing 30 years ago, my guile, creativity and propensity to take risks has built this lifestyle. Other than houses, holidays and cars I'm not flash (OK I'm a bit flash). That said I'll never buy any "designer" branded items, I'll go in a Lidl far more often than a Waitrose.

I still have the same common concerns around Kids and other loved ones.

There's always other concerns too. Having a few quid generally helps to deal with them.

I've always had a decent salary so never worried about affording basics or paying bills but when kids were small and had daycare costs, things were tight.

However, since then my salary has gone up and certainly enough to live on comfortably. Plus, sadly, both my parents died relatively young (at end of working life but not really being able to enjoy retirement). Since they were divorced and neither had remarried, my sibling and I inherited their properties plus their other business invesments which had done very well over the years.

As a result, we live off our salaries and the money we inherited is invested. We made some pretty good (and also lucky) invesment decisions which mean that the money is generating additional income for us. Basically six figure annual household income and now million+ in investments and property.

So I don't worry about money at all. If anyone in the family needs something we can get it. We don't live extravagantly - one 13 year old car which does the job for us, no flashy clothes or jewelry or electronics. I don't see the point in conspicuous consumption and we don't mix with those type of people (plus we don't talk about money so only a few close friends actually know how much we have)

What's important to us is being able to pay for kids' education, for them to graduate uni with no debt and do whatever further training they need, being able to access private medical care when my child had serious mental health issues and NHS provision was shit etc. Eventually, we plan to use the money to help kids with deposits for houses and for own retirement. This is all a massive privilege and I am keenly aware of this.

I will say though that I look enviously at people my age whose parents are still alive and healthy. I'd give up all the money I inherited in a heartbeat to have my parents back. So in that sense money doesn't buy happiness. The money I have came at a huge cost. But, that said, my parents would have died anyway and it would have still been shit with or without money, it's not like I could make that choice

@Porcupineintherough. I wasn't suggesting that I'd replace money worries with menu worries. I can honestly say I've never had a menu worry in my life. 😂

We earn 8k between us after tax, it looks ridiculous written down, growing up their were days we could barely afford food.

I love being able to pay for school trips, new shoes for kids, anything we want from supermarket without worry. I feel very lucky indeed.

I grew up very poor (homeless, food banks etc)

I was lucky enough to be clever & got a tertiary education via scholarships & hard work (3 jobs while studying basically working 18 hours a day, every day)

I am now very financially comfortable with DH. However he has serious health issues so life is not easy. Being comfortable about money has allowed us to make choices about being part time though which makes it much easier to manage and I am grateful for it.

Honestly you just end up thinking about money in a different way. No I don’t worry about the food shopping or the price of a holiday, but I do think about how much we’ve saved or our retirement. Also having grown up in poverty I do still cower at how much we spend a week on food! Honestly the biggest thing is me and my husband are very senior at work and don’t have kids yet. Things will change a lot when they arrive I’m sure! Very privileged I know, but our worries are more focussed on the future.

We don't worry about money. We are not loaded but we have a nice house, no mortgage, two decent cars and can afford the things we want as a family.

We don't have millions - we couldn't afford 3 holidays a year in the Caribbean or a second home but we don't have to worry if the kids need something or we want to go out for dinner or something.

So actually I find I don't think about money at all. It's very nice and I haven't always been in this position at all so I'm grateful.

This is the first time in my life that I’ve ever had money. I don’t look at how much groceries are, I just put stuff in the trolley and then pay on my debit card. I don’t have a budget. I’ve got used to it but every now and then I’m reminded of how lucky I am when I hear someone say “I’ve got £10 to last me until payday”. I wouldn’t be able to sleep if that was all I had in bank.

But then, that used to be me.