To ask what it's like to not have to worry about money?

[dailydreamin]

I was chatting with my dh about winning the lotto (as you do) then it got us to thinking because we don't earn much really. What is it like to just have a really good wage (like 4-5k or more per month) and have no money worries?

I would love to just go food shopping without adding in my head. I would love to just be able to see the DC's shoes are getting tight and go and buy new shoes for them without stressing about what I will have to forgo.

So what is it really like? Is it like I think? Do you just NOT think about money at all? Do you just buy as you need (obviously everyone has their limits though) without thinking?

P.S I grew up poor. Like council home repossessed poor. FSM poor where ‘dinner’ was bread and jam, my school shirts were charity shop jobbies and my school blazer bought in year 7 was several sizes too big as it had to last until the end of year 11. So I absolutely appreciate where I am now, I don’t talk about it with people because I am embarrassed by it I suppose. I am so fortunate and so grateful but I don’t know how to handle it either.

I'm lucky in that I've never been really poor but I have had years where I added up around the supermarket, my books and magazines only came from the library, we worried about childcare bills etc., a few childrens' parties at a time plus an engagement present could put us under a huge amount of pressure.

Now we are very well off - we really don't worry about money and actually it is lovely to buy a book or meat from a local farm (instead of the cheapest butcher in town) and not think about it, or make substantial donations to the charity we support. We don't live very big even now tbh. We are not into cars or expensive clothes and neither are our children. Our biggest outgoings are education (about 2 more years of university left and we paid for private schools for years) and travel - although we would not go first class unless long haul - and we both travelled to asia etc for work so never holidayed there. You probably wouldn't guess our worth from our lifestyle.

It is lovely not to worry or think about money but honestly we were just as happy back then as we are now. But that is because a. it wasn't grinding poverty - we had some nice things and something to look forward to and b. we knew we would earn a lot more someday just by the nature of our jobs.

When my father died I received an inheritance that allowed me to buy a house (with no mortgage) and have enough left over that for a couple years I got to know what it was like. Paying a bill when it arrived without even thinking about it. Not thinking about the cost of food. Giving my boys a really nice Christmas and not worry how we will get through January when its over. Eventually that money ran out and life went back to "more normal" although owning my house obviously makes a big dent on monthly money outgoings.

We have modest index linked pensions (one a really good private workplace one) investments and an inheritance. Not millions per se but a steady monthly amount and no mortgage. We don't spend recklessly, run one car, modest hobbies. But we don't have to worry about everyday bills or surprise expenses ( hello, woodworm in the dining room floor)
It's nice. We're lucky and know it, after some very tough times in the 90s especially, and try to give back to the community in money and time.

The more you earn the more you spend. I don't think you feel comfortable even when you are. I know people who have lots of money and they still want more and better stuff.

I do worry about money. The world is an unstable place and I don't think you can be smug.

It's nice
But I think if you have a tendency worry you find other things to worry about, whether that's health or weight, or friendships, or work... etc

And lots of people are just incapable of feeling like what they have is enough, they end up always hankering for more, financially.

£4-5K per month is £48-60Kpa, it's a very good salary but not 'no worries about money'. DH and I both earn in that region and while I know we are very fortunate and very comfortable and live well and can save a lot per month and certainly never worry about supermarket shops or unexpected bills we still have to budget, it's just the budgeting is 'do we go on holiday or do we update the bathroom' or 'are we saving enough for retirement'. If we had e.g. chosen to send the DC to private school things would feel much tight because it would use up one salary (we have 3DC) and our pension/holidays/house updates salary would have disappeared. Obviously we are very fortunate that that is a choice for us. I suspect if we were on a million a year we'd find other things that we could spend money on and worry about. So I don't think money worries ever stop with a high salary, they just change.

Not having to worry about money is definitely not just about how much money you make. Many, many people with high salaries spend far too much money and are massively in debt, so they are basically living paycheck to paycheck. Some people's supposedly perfect lives are very misleading.

I completely agree with this. Seen it way too much with those who're seen as rich, on the surface.

I work with multi millionaires/billionaires and the majority are so friendly and will tell me about their amazing, extravagant lives where no penny is spared. Some refuse to pay for bags of ice and penny pinch!

Well I read about Petra Ecclestone selling her £170m house as she doesn’t feel safe in it. So I am not sure that removing money worries is a bed of roses.

Not having to worry about money is definitely not just about how much money you make. Many, many people with high salaries spend far too much money and are massively in debt, so they are basically living paycheck to paycheck. Some people's supposedly perfect lives are very misleading.

This is very true. I know a single guy on £65k in a cheap area of the country. To outsiders he looks loaded: flash car and flash clothes and lives in a posh new build. In reality he lives paycheck to paycheck and doesn't have any spare money at all due to his debts.

We have a comfortable income and lo wish outgoings so £1000 spare each month. I grew up in a household where money was tight. I still worry, I still do all the things you mention and I save money on things I don’t need to - lots of bf hand, selling stuff etc. I think I’ll only stop worrying once I own the house outright and have enough saved for retirement!

I think its all relative to an extent. When you get to the point where you are not worried about the day to day, week to week, month to month (which is lovely). You move on to something else relevant and pressing to your salary bracket/lifestyle/expectations/surroundings. For me thats upping my pension contributions, saving for kids driving lessons and university and overpaying the mortgage. So you still have pressures and worries and plans-but its a long way from counting pennies.

I think the only people who really spend with wild abandon and dont even look are genuine multi multi millionaires or people with huge debts who may be financially irresponsible.

@YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer

When my father died I received an inheritance that allowed me to buy a house (with no mortgage) and have enough left over that for a couple years I got to know what it was like. Paying a bill when it arrived without even thinking about it. Not thinking about the cost of food. Giving my boys a really nice Christmas and not worry how we will get through January when its over. Eventually that money ran out and life went back to "more normal" although owning my house obviously makes a big dent on monthly money outgoings.

So you just burned through the money?😲

That’s quite hurtful @Zilla1 and I think totally at odds with what you’ve seen on this thread 🙁

I have an income of just over £4k / month - I'm single with 2 kids. I worry about money still. My house constantly needs stuff done to it and I find I have to figure out what I need to do, how much it will cost and when I will be able to afford to do it. Also, in 5 years my eldest will be going to uni and I definitely want to give him something towards it.
By most people's standards I know I have a lot of money but in my mind I still need to think about what I'm doing.

£4-5K per month is £48-60Kpa

Not sure where you're getting that figure from, our household income is around £84,000 and we bring home £5000.

I don't have to worry about money. I'm sure this is at least partly because I don't want anything though. I have no desire for 'stuff' and wouldn't ever choose to go shopping as some sort of fun activity.
I'd be a rubbish lottery winner.

Given the caveat 'a fair proportion' and the arguably measured way I wrote it, I don't think we'll agree what could reasonably be considered 'hurtful'.

We have a fairly high income - about 10x the figure you mention. One thing I've noticed is that things I used to find aspirational I no longer care about - so I used to lust after fancy cars, but now that I could pop out and buy an Aston Martin or two if I really wanted, I'm actually quite happy with my 10-year-old VW. Same goes for fancy clothes, restaurants, jewelry, etc.

Although fancy hotels are still quite appealing!

We have a fairly high income - about 10x the figure you mention

I think we can call £40-50,000 a month a very high income

It’s amazing in that I never have to consider my bank balance. The counterbalance is that I worry about my job responsibilities all the time (3am, on holiday etc)

I feel very lucky that I don't have to worry about day to day spending much eg the supermarket shop, I'm not well off by any means, rented house, no lavish holidays or expansive big ticket items. I work part time due to poor health so do worry a lot about coping longer term financially because it's always possible I'll not manage to work at all sooner or later so there's a lot of anxiety there which just feels like a black cloud constantly hanging over me. BUT Im always SO grateful that I can basically buy what I want at the supermarket, or meet a friend for a coffee without thinking about it or stick the heating whenever. I think the mental health toll taken by the worry about coping day to day financially is so deterimantal. It can be absolutely soul destroying for people.

I imagine it's as you describe OP but remember that you're in the majority.

It doesn't feel like it when you read other Mumsnetter's posts sometimes but the majority of the British population are struggling financially, particularly at the moment.

My dh and I met when I was 18 and he was 20. Within 3 months I was pregnant and written off by society and our families as a young mum who would amount to nothing but benefits. We both worked hard and went to uni where we also had part time jobs. Dh worked for years in a management role and I was a nurse for years. I was like you and worried about Bill's, had to count doing a shop etc. Then on a whim I left nursing and started my own business, my net pay per month is a minimum 20k. Feel free to ask me anything.