If one person in the house is on a particular diet, should everyone else be on it too?

[Margotshypotheticaldog]

It's for health reasons, this person is overweight and sedentary. They currently do none of the cooking or shopping. They can't have takeaways, sweets, chocolates etc. We're not a very sweet tooth house but do get takeaway occasionally. Dinners cooked 6 days a week from scratch reasonably healthy, meat, fish veg etc. If this person now wants to go on a specialist diet, should they source and cook for themselves or do I have to do it basically?? (I'm refusing. That's the Aibu)

It's impossible to say without more info.
Who is this person?
What is the diet?
Who usually cooks?

Nope!

Adult or child?

What sort of 'specialist' diet?

No.

If someone wants to do a certain type of diet then they can crack on and others in the house can be supportive..like not rub treats in their faces, but that's all.

Why can't they do their own cooking? Have their hands been amputated? Are they allergic to saucepans?

Basically your partner wants you to cook and suffer through a specific diet. Fuck that, they can cook for themselves.

YANBU. Assuming no disability, that person needs to take responsibility for their own health as an adult. I've been on Slim and Save for 12 weeks, my Fiance has been eating normal food. It's my own decision.

Are they able to plan, buy and cook their own meals. Are the family all supporting them and happy to give up treats as an incentive. What is the specialist diet.

If its just for weight loss then no. In our house I can't eat certain foods due to allergies , everyone follows this because these foods can kill me, I also follow a diet for my stomach problems but I'm the only one who follows that.

Presumably your husband is overweight and has no willpower so expects you all to live without treats in the house because he can't control himself?

Generally if you like/love this person I would say yes to support them.
Of course if you don’t like them, then you won’t want to.
It’s really impossible to say 100% though, as I don’t know the details of the diet or the person - is it your housemate or partner? If partner then yes, if housemate then no.

It's oh. We have a strained relationship. He has high blood pressure as a result of poor lifestyle. The kids and I are active and none of us have high blood pressure. He expects a particular level of service that I am increasingly unwilling to provide. He almost never cooks or shops, but has been googling healthy menus and suggestions for me to cook. We both work full time. I have a meal plan system that works for me and the kids for the week and I don't want to change it. I think he just needs to get more exercise and drink less. The food I cook is fine, he needs to make lifestyle changes.

Nobody should be doing all the cooking regardless of any restrictions.

Whether the non diet person would/should/could cook as per the restrictions on the days they cook would depend how much the other person found the food to be. But people don’t have to eat the same.

So for instance I will sometimes cook vegetarian food for everyone even though I’m not vegetarian. But sometimes I cook something different. People don’t have to eat the same. Dh is vegetarian and to be honest I leave him to fend for himself most of the time…..he doesn’t like my cooking even when it’s vegi and he eats about 9pm where I eat about 5pm!

I'd probably try and find a way to make it work for everyone if possible. For example if they're wanting a reduced calorie diet I'd try and create the same meal for everyone but with subtle changes to the lower calorie one like less of certain items (lower carb but more fiber etc). They might find it less tasty if they miss out on a sauce or something (that is essentially nutritionally null but adds calories) but it's the effort to try and offer a similar meal that's important. If they were starting to be picky or complain by offering wasn't good enough they'd very quickly be told to cook for themselves though.

Alot of crossed posts there. Do I like or love him? That's another days work.
Will look into possible saucepan allergy, as that would also explain inability to load or empty the dishwasher....

Short answer...if they are an adult then they can cook for themselves.
Long answer... it depends. Have you normally done all the cooking? How out there is this new regime? Would it benefit your health to incorporate some of it into your diet?

Should everyone in the house go on a diet as well or stop eating what they like? No.

Should everyone in the house be mindful of eating 'tempting' food around this person, assuming they care about this person and want to help him/her however they can? Yes.

Should this person sort out his/her meals since it's different from the regular meals, assuming this person is a fully capable adult? Yes.

If someone else does the food shopping, could s/he buy food ingredients for the person on a diet, since s/he's out shopping anyway? Yes, if they want to be helpful.

If you cook healthy meals already then theres no need to change anything. Dont buy him alcohol or treats. Does he get a meal at work. He is an adult and needs to take responsibility for his own health. I am sure his doctor has said the same.

Oh and I wanted to cut back on my drinking a few years ago and asked him not to bring booze into the house. He said no, he likes a beer at the weekend to relax.

Depends how specialist. If it’s just slimming world or cc then there’s no harm in rest of you eating same dinner. Slimming foodie and pinch of nom books have lots of nice family friendly meals around 500 cals.
It is hard if you are dieting and everyone else having a takeaway. Is compromise you get a healthier option or they cook that night. Some great fakeaway options.
If you can’t be bothered cooking from scratch daily and usually have convenience food/ready meals suggest they cook or batch cook to replace that.
If it’s for health you’ll all benefit if they are healthier eg able to go on family walks etc.
sweets/choc - keep your stash separate and I’d try not to eat in front of them. I used to go for an evening walk when they were snacking.

Second time today the OP posts more information while I'm typing and I see it after I've posted. I should type quicker I think.

No, one householders "diet" should not force the others to change, unless we are taking severe allergies.

Depends. Would the diet change still make "family friendly" meals that everyone will eat? Will the new regime be a lot more work?
The fact you do all the cooking is the problem imo. You both work full time, you should share the household load.

We have various dietary requirements in our house. I try and make everyone the same meal, or at least a variation of.
But I'm the only adult so most of the cooking falls to me. (Teen dc so they can cook)

He sounds like a fat, lazy twat. And you sound deeply unhappy. You know what you have to do.

Whoever does the cooking on any particular night cooks whatever anyone is having. We don't always eat the same meals. It has never been an issue.