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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To never speak to her again- CF!

686 replies

Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 15:10

I have a long term school ‘friend’, let’s call her S. I hear from her very sporadically and most recently, when she wants something: sponsorship money from me for one of her ‘challenges’ to stay in my central city home (!)… but folks, I give you the best one to date today…

Text out of the blue.. not even a ‘how are you’.. can I pick her son up from the airport (!) on Wednesday as he’s flying in alone (he is 10) from his dad’s abroad. You’re thinking wtaf, right?

The text goes on.. she can’t and her new DP are holidaying in the south of France and their flight doesn’t get in to airport until 5pm.. so the wee mite is alone for 4 hours after travelling alone. At 10. Jesus!

It ends ‘would obviously be great to see you too!!’

AIBU to think cheeky fucker and never speak to the self centred cow again?

OP posts:
GoWalkabout · 17/10/2021 15:11

And add I will be reporting this to social services

AliceinBorderland · 17/10/2021 15:11

Don't dignify it with a response

Original poster
Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 15:12

@AliceinBorderland exactly that. Shan’t be replying to that crock of shit. Made my blood boil.

DP said same.

Surely to god as an aside point welcoming your child home safely would be the first priority and you would move mountains to make sure it was by you?!

OP posts:
TurquoiseDragon · 17/10/2021 15:14

I wouldn't be bothered responding, but it makes me wonder who else is fed up with being used that she's come to you to ask for help.

Estellelove · 17/10/2021 15:15

I don't know... If she's a genuinely good friend I wouldn't see the problem. Friends can ask each other favours no? It's true she's not been in touch for a while, but I would personally be happy to do this for a good friend.
It sounds like your feeling used though, so maybe you don't consider her a very good friend? In which case I would text her saying you feel a bit used but in a friendly way so it doesn't escalate and can be easily resolved by her apologising.
I dunno, I'd fetch the kid I think.

Original poster
Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 15:15

Yes @TurquoiseDragon. I happen to live in the city the airport is in (about 2 hours drive from where she lives). I suspect many people are being asked. I find the whole audacity of it mind blowing!

OP posts:
JacquelineCarlyle · 17/10/2021 15:17

I'd just delete and ignore the message and act like I've never seen it (otherwise if I thought too much about it, I'd have to pick him up as it's too cruel, but that's totally on her, not you).

AnathemaPulsifer · 17/10/2021 15:17

Blimey, I can just about maybe understand her needing help but she’s left it a bit late to sort it out, hasn’t she?!

Original poster
Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 15:18

@Estellelove when I look back ive always thought she was a friend; but I was wrong. She is a u-s-e-r.

Only gets in touch when she wants something and fairly recently we were holidaying in her area and I sent an brief message asking how she was and if they were up to much. We went on holiday spontaneously and I thought I didn’t want to put her or her family out, but if they had been free, it would have been wonderful to see them. Her reply? ‘I’m doing a skydive for charity, great if you could sponsor me’… and so it goes on..

I didn’t sponsor her, or see her, or reply. And yet, she still thinks it’s cool to ask this..

OP posts:
Original poster
Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 15:19

@AnathemaPulsifer yes, it’s not like she hasn’t had time to plan. It’s probably as the PP says .. someone else has felt used and said fuck off, no way, I’m out!

It’s not the kids fault I know, but her failure to organise does not become an emergency on my part. Also, I’m miles from airport and parking is around £1 a minute or thereabouts… pisstake

OP posts:
DiscoGlitterBall · 17/10/2021 15:21

I would respond so there is no confusion and she knows that you are not doing it. If she is that much of a cf you can imagine she would say well you were doing it and the poor child is stranded.

I would probably do something like:

‘I’m good, been up to x y and z and work has been great recently. Oh sorry you didn’t ask how I am did you!! Silly me! You did ask if I could pick little Johnny up from the airport. Ummmm no.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 17/10/2021 15:21

In my experience with User Friends, there is always a "moment". It might be major or it might be trivial but its like a Tipping Point from which there is no return because all affection for them has died.

DianaBrigg · 17/10/2021 15:22

Ah. Classic CF with rhino thick skin to boot.

Poor kid though.

butterflyze · 17/10/2021 15:22

"No, cannot do it. Smile Hope you find someone else to oblige."

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 17/10/2021 15:23

Wow. That is really bad.

Original poster
Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 15:23

@DiscoGlitterBall your message is funny! Made me snigger. I’m not going to even merit it with a response. Surely to god she doesn’t think just because she’s asked me there is a likelihood I will do it?! And if she does, that’s on her!

I’ve had a lot of shit things happen recently and I may have left a few friends behind as I’ve learned the empowerment of a hard no and that no response is still a response- a strong one at that!

OP posts:
Eleganz · 17/10/2021 15:26

Just say no. Once you've picked your jaw off the floor that someone could arrange for their 10 year old to arrive alone at an airport at a time they weren't available to collect them because they were on holiday that is.

Wow.

Starfish1021 · 17/10/2021 15:27

Wow that is another level of CFery

Just don’t respond. Poor kid. I mean seriously

Original poster
Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 15:28

Totally agree it is a jaw dropper. Just epitomises how selfish she is if she can treat her own, 10 year old son this way. I hope he grows up and sees it too. He is a lovely kid for what it’s worth.

OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 17/10/2021 15:34

I am definitely a 🥃 half empty type so would probably therefore respond to her text with a single word ("No"). Just on the off chance the shit DOES hit the fan with this situation so there is a paper trail if cheeky cow tries to SS that she HAD organised a pick up for her 10 year old and you bailed.

MRex · 17/10/2021 15:35

"No, I won't collect him. There is a risk of you getting stuck overseas; the best approach would be for you to adjust his flight time or yours so that he only sets off once you're in the country and able to parent him."

MRex · 17/10/2021 15:37

Probably obvious, but this isn't a "friend" I'd be interested in keeping, so no need to pussyfoot around the point.

WithMyEncyclopedia · 17/10/2021 15:38

I don't use the crying laughing emoji much but I'd wheel it out as a response to this (with nothing else)

DameFanny · 17/10/2021 15:39

"new phone who dis"

She'll know it's you, she can't get you to admit it's you though. Just don't answer any number withhelds for a bit.

Lsquiggles · 17/10/2021 15:39

You need to nip this in the bud, she's a shameless user, she needs to know you don't exist to do her favours and beg for scraps