Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To never speak to her again- CF!

686 replies

Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 15:10

I have a long term school ‘friend’, let’s call her S. I hear from her very sporadically and most recently, when she wants something: sponsorship money from me for one of her ‘challenges’ to stay in my central city home (!)… but folks, I give you the best one to date today…

Text out of the blue.. not even a ‘how are you’.. can I pick her son up from the airport (!) on Wednesday as he’s flying in alone (he is 10) from his dad’s abroad. You’re thinking wtaf, right?

The text goes on.. she can’t and her new DP are holidaying in the south of France and their flight doesn’t get in to airport until 5pm.. so the wee mite is alone for 4 hours after travelling alone. At 10. Jesus!

It ends ‘would obviously be great to see you too!!’

AIBU to think cheeky fucker and never speak to the self centred cow again?

OP posts:
insatiableme · 17/10/2021 16:25

Is a ten year old allowed to fly alone??

Original poster
Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 16:26

@Snugglepumpkin and if that happens, it happens. I have proof to the contrary.

If she wants to put incorrect and defamatory content on social media about me I can send a cease and desist. Really no drama.

All I did was not text back to an unreasonable ask 🥴

OP posts:
WTF99 · 17/10/2021 16:27

@TheChip

Who would take no response as an "okay great, they're going to be there to collect ds from the airport" No response is a response.
The same kind of person who would make this request in the first place maybe?

I would answer with a definite no to avoid all doubt, as others have said, but it's your call OP.

Sundancerintherain · 17/10/2021 16:27

I'd block her op.

Original poster
Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 16:27

@BadNomad 😂😂😂

@AlexDrake1981 I completely understand. Thank you

OP posts:
autummvibes · 17/10/2021 16:29

I have ignored people in the past but this time she's really let her son down. So on this occasion I would reply. I'd say "no I will not be picking your son up as I already have plans but you wouldn't know that as I didn't ask. Once again I'm only being contacted when you want something. Don't contact me for anything again. "

lescompagnonsdeloue · 17/10/2021 16:30

Of course 10 year olds are allowed to fly alone. Many airlines offer the service, the bigger national carriers, usually. You sometimes see the kids at the airport, they require a lot of documentation, and there is a minimum age. Anyway, OP, I would just ignore it, it's not your responsibility, and it doesn't become your responsibility because she asked. I don't see what could possibly happen. Besides, if you don't answer, there is no ambiguity and no proof that you got the message.

steelrose · 17/10/2021 16:30

I'd send a reply
"Think you sent this to me by mistake, I'd be unable to help anyway.

BananaBlue · 17/10/2021 16:31

I would text back ‘No, not possible’ and block.

She’s a CF I wouldn’t put it past her to lie to Dad/authorities whoever and say ‘oh but after I sent this text I spoke to peanut who agreed.

You’d still not have any liability but I’d like the ease of being able to send a copy of the conversation/my response.

ApolloandDaphne · 17/10/2021 16:32

She is cheeky indeed. Her message needs no response. Just ignore her.

Imnothereforthedrama · 17/10/2021 16:33

@Peanutbuttermandms

I just see me as having to even engage in this storm as me getting involved. Let’s be clear, if I reply a hard no then I become the bad guy; it becomes my fault.

I’m not giving her that much oxygen. I don’t care who is at fault with this whole flights escapade, the buck stops with her- not me!

I’m feeling a little like I have to defend myself here!

Oh op this is why she asks you these favours because you can’t say no and don’t like being seen as the bad guy . Saying sorry no I can’t do it is much better it shows your firm otherwise she’ll think your thinking about it and will possibly do it . If you leave it till 12th hour you will be seen as the bad guy because it’ll be like why didn’t you say so . Just say no if she is a user why do you what she thinks about you ? .
Mummyoflittledragon · 17/10/2021 16:34

“Sorry, I’m in Lincolnshire then, taking the kids to Bitchfield. So no… but I’m going on a sponsored walk to Twatt next month, wanna sponsor me?

Poptart4 · 17/10/2021 16:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

DameFanny · 17/10/2021 16:36

Yes @Peanutbuttermandms you shouldn't have to respond at all but as others have said, you don't know that she hasn't given your name and number to the airline, her son, or anyone else and told them you're in charge. So just a 'sorry no can do' back is enough. And if she says she's passed your name on, you repeat 'no, and now I'm blocking you'.

It's not like you want to see her again, just be blunt. And avoid a bunch of panicked calls on Wednesday.

diddl · 17/10/2021 16:36

If you don't intend to be friends with her any more does it really matter if you become the bad guy?

To whom?

Her?-so what?

If she tells other that you agreed & then let her down-so what?

Anyone who knows/cares about you enough won't believe her.

"Those who mind don't matter, those who matter don't mind"

rainraim · 17/10/2021 16:36

Something so important as that, I wouldn't text it, I would call the person and ask very nicely if they are able to do me a favour.

StrongLegs · 17/10/2021 16:37

OP your "friend" sounds worryingly irresponsible. I don't think you should go near this situation with a 50 foot barge pole. You might get there and find that there are all sorts of other things that she conveniently forgot to mention.

rwalker · 17/10/2021 16:37

Grow a pair she brings nothing to your life text her

"As per usual I only hear from you when you want something and it's a no.Up to you if you want to salvage this friendship .

Original poster
Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 16:38

@Poptart4 seriously, no need to attack me on this thread. I don’t need to ‘grow a ball sack’ (nor do I have one), nor am I a ‘coward’. Shame on you.

OP posts:
JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue · 17/10/2021 16:38

Probably already suggested, but I'd wait until she texts again with "?" and then text back with "New phone, new number, who dis?"

NumberTheory · 17/10/2021 16:38

Fewer and fewer airlines are offering an unaccompanied minors service, but those that do won’t let an under 14 year old leave without the adult they had been told would be collecting.

So you have no need to respond OP and no need to contact social services. There are already systems in place that ensure 10 year olds on International flights can’t be Hansel & Gretled away by feckless or cruel parents. Your approach to not respond is perfectly valid and there is no need to jump through hoops and follow the advice of the idiots who want you to amp up the drama by provoking a response because they have nothing else to do in the absence of a good parking/CF thread.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 17/10/2021 16:39

What's the betting she messages you on the day to ask if you've collected him yet!

Original poster
Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 16:40

@NumberTheory you speak a lot of sense.

OP posts:
SunsetSmartmeter · 17/10/2021 16:40

OP of course you have no responsibility to this child or his ghastly mother. I think what people are saying is that you might want to reply with an unquestionable 'no' before blocking her, because these sorts of people are inherently manipulative & can become troublesome. Of course your silence cannot be interpreted as consent, & if the situation developed & you were contacted by airport staff or even SS about this, there can be no comeback on you. But making your lack of consent clear & then blocking her prevents you from ever having to deal with the sort of nonsense that she may try to bring to your doorstep.

It seems that this woman has been using you for almost 20 years now. I think when you finally see the light in these situations there is a tendency to be ultra responsive, in this case by sticking firmly to your desire to not dignify her with any sort of response. To behave in that way is your right, & no-one should judge you for it. Absolutely none of this is on you - it is all on her.

I think if it was me I'd want to be brief but clear at what I thought of her dreadful behaviour, be unequivocal about the fact that I was refusing to help, & then block her. No discussions - I'd simply end the friendship clean with my stall clearly set out.

secretbookcase · 17/10/2021 16:40

I'd lie and say: Can't do airport. Busy that day. You need to book a chaperone PDQ or change your flight.