To never speak to her again- CF!

[Peanutbuttermandms]

I have a long term school ‘friend’, let’s call her S. I hear from her very sporadically and most recently, when she wants something: sponsorship money from me for one of her ‘challenges’ to stay in my central city home (!)… but folks, I give you the best one to date today…

Text out of the blue.. not even a ‘how are you’.. can I pick her son up from the airport (!) on Wednesday as he’s flying in alone (he is 10) from his dad’s abroad. You’re thinking wtaf, right?

The text goes on.. she can’t and her new DP are holidaying in the south of France and their flight doesn’t get in to airport until 5pm.. so the wee mite is alone for 4 hours after travelling alone. At 10. Jesus!

It ends ‘would obviously be great to see you too!!’

AIBU to think cheeky fucker and never speak to the self centred cow again?

In this case, as a child is involved, I would pick up the child

I would hate for the child to be stuck at the airport on his own

But I would, once she has collected, be letting her have it both guns blazing, and would tell her to no longer contact you

That is quite a .... special degree of CFery!

No, sorry, you're not available. She's going to have to sort something else out and if that means changing her arrangements to come back early from holiday it will have to be that.

I think you have to reply, and with a firm 'no'. Don't give her the chance to interpret silence as consent.

She’s outrageous and I do take the point that there is a child involved, however where do I set my boundaries if I go accepting her shreds and picking him up? We all can anticipate the next thing being either: (a) she doesn’t bother her arse to get on the flight as I’m so reliable and good with him (b) the flight is appallingly late and I’m free daycare.

It’s not fair on the child but if I’m giving it straight, it’s absolutely not my fault and my responsibility either. I don’t want to be dragged into this shit storm my proxy of someone taking advantage of my better nature by pulling the ‘poor kid’ card.

I’m getting angry just writing this for her even having me question myself!

I agree you need to answer with a No or she will be expecting you to do it

If there’s any chance she’ll take your silence for agreeing to do it, I’d reply with a simple message of “Nope, not able to do this”

@MagnoliaBeige

If there’s any chance she’ll take your silence for agreeing to do it, I’d reply with a simple message of “Nope, not able to do this”

I think this. Just for the avoidance of doubt. Then block.

Can't believe she would do that to her own kid though.

If she takes my silence as agreement then that’s on her.

I normally would suggest not replying but in this case I wouldn't want ANY possibility of ambiguity.

NO, and block, would be best.

I thought if they were under a certain age the airport had to hand the child to a pre-agreed person at the other side?

I'll agree that she's a CF if she now only contacts when she wants something.

Is it possible in this case though that it's her ex who has messed up the flight times?

Not that that excuses her rudeness of course, just that she might not be solely to blame for the cock up.

I agree it might be an idea to say no though-just so that there can be no misunderstanding!

Please reply, if only to say that you can’t collect her DS from the airport.

When I was 16 I went on an exchange visit to France, arranged through the school, and the people I was staying with didn’t bother picking me up. I was thinking about that only yesterday, for some reason. I’m now 53 and I still remember how awful it was. Luckily, I’d travelled with a school friend whose family did turn up, and who knew where my family lived.

I would hate that to happen to a 10 year old.

I'd be texting back, 'this is a joke, right? No, obviously I won't rearrange my weekend to pick up your child from the airport. Perhaps you might want to contact the airline, to ensure they hold him until you get there, or do you want me to contact social services on your behalf'?

I would definitely respond with a “I cannot help” so there is no ambiguity at all about it given a child is involved.

I just see me as having to even engage in this storm as me getting involved. Let’s be clear, if I reply a hard no then I become the bad guy; it becomes my fault.

I’m not giving her that much oxygen. I don’t care who is at fault with this whole flights escapade, the buck stops with her- not me!

I’m feeling a little like I have to defend myself here!

I agree that a reply is needed. A no and then block would suffice.

I'd just delete and ignore the message and act like I've never seen it

OP, will she be able to tell if you've read the message?

Can I just ask why so many are suggesting I reply and that I have some kind of responsibility towards someone I hear from once a year by reason that she happens to send me a sporadic and frankly, rather big, ask? It’s inferred this is now on me to deal with and engage in? I don’t understand this and I choose not to engage it. I’m asking if i am unreasonable to never engage her again, not whether I should reply.

You know there’s a chance she could test positive and not be allowed to fly back? For like 10 days?! She should arrange her holiday to come back the day before to be there for her child.

Totally agree that you should not respond.

But surely he won't be allowed through security/airport exit on his own without someone to collect him? Cabin crew will be aware of his age.

Just wow!

If she has until Wednesday why not change hers or her sons flight times. Why not meet ds in France and head home together.
How can you even get yourself in that position??

I wonder if the dad would send ds home if he knew what was happening. If you know him, maybe drop him a message?

I understand your reluctance to text back but on this occasion I would...you can be sure she will take your silence as a yes..and when the shit hits the fan it will be turned on you and claimed you left the child standing at airport..a simple text saying no (or piss off) then block..keep yourself right..

@ProfessionalWeirdo I don’t know either she knows I’ve read it or not and tbh, I don’t really care. My reading of it is not acceptance of her cheeky ask, nor does it bind my responsibility.

I’m clearer than ever that I will never speak with her again, so don’t care if she is put out that I’ve read or not replied.

I’m probably coming across as cold, but I’m sick to my back teeth of having to be the fall person, the proxy who picks up all the shit and I’m just refusing to do it anymore. The child is a red herring- it’s her that has the issue, it just happens to be a child that’s being left, however it still does not become my responsibility. Knowing her, she went into this with her eyes wide open and her own selfishness is causing these issues, not my failure to reply to her !

That poor boy. She sounds like an absolute liability. Personally I just wouldn't want to be involved in any of that. It's too grim.

I don’t think you owe her anything but if she’s the CF you think she is, I’d want no ambiguity around my answer to her text. I’d also want to draw a line under it and not be waiting to see if she texted again when she realises you’ve not responded. A swift “no” is more likely to end contact with her than saying nothing and she then chases you for an answer.