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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To never speak to her again- CF!

686 replies

Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 15:10

I have a long term school ‘friend’, let’s call her S. I hear from her very sporadically and most recently, when she wants something: sponsorship money from me for one of her ‘challenges’ to stay in my central city home (!)… but folks, I give you the best one to date today…

Text out of the blue.. not even a ‘how are you’.. can I pick her son up from the airport (!) on Wednesday as he’s flying in alone (he is 10) from his dad’s abroad. You’re thinking wtaf, right?

The text goes on.. she can’t and her new DP are holidaying in the south of France and their flight doesn’t get in to airport until 5pm.. so the wee mite is alone for 4 hours after travelling alone. At 10. Jesus!

It ends ‘would obviously be great to see you too!!’

AIBU to think cheeky fucker and never speak to the self centred cow again?

OP posts:
Original poster
Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 16:15

@Snugglepumpkin no, I cannot accept your statement that I ‘could be the cause of a child being left alone in the airport at that age’.

That’s absolutely not the case and you’re factually misconceived.

I have no responsibility here whatsoever, for the avoidance of doubt. Bloody hell.

OP posts:
AlexDrake1981 · 17/10/2021 16:16

Just googled & found this. She’s either named you as someone who’s going to pick him up, or she hasn’t named you and she’s absolutely clueless about the rules, meaning that even if you did turn up at the airport, they wouldn’t hand him over. Wow.

To never speak to her again- CF!
TheChip · 17/10/2021 16:16

Who would take no response as an "okay great, they're going to be there to collect ds from the airport"
No response is a response.

Original poster
Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 16:17

@billy1966 indeed, I’m off to start texting people that I’m coming to take all their valuables from them. Because they don’t respond I will take that as a green light to behave that way, and they will have no recourse!!!!

OP posts:
Harlequin1088 · 17/10/2021 16:17

Oh wow, that's another level really.

No, definitely a no from me. She needs to parent her child not go down her phone contacts list and see who else can do it for her.

Several things concern me here:

  1. If you only ever see this friend occasionally, it's likely then that her child knows of you and has met you a few times but you're not a regular enough adult in their life that they feel they know you. Therefore, I imagine it's going to be very stressful for the child to have a person they barely know dispatched to collect them.
  1. What if the mother's flight from France is delayed and she can't get back until the following morning? What are you expected to do with the child then? Again, also very distressing for child.
  1. What happens if something happened on the flight such as the child was taken ill and requires immediate medical attention as soon as they land? You can't be expected to be decision making in extreme circumstances. Presumably you may not be able to get hold of the mother if she's mid-air herself?

This all just seems too much of an ask. I'd politely decline, block her so she can't contact you again for any reason, and then make a discreet call to social services too.

cooldarkroom · 17/10/2021 16:17

I would say, Hello, Yes I'm well, oh but your didn't ask did you ? (as above)
I would say I was not available, on this occasion or any other,
I would also say that you suppose the poor child is an UM, & for her information, not any old stranger can rock up & collect her son at the airport.
I would also say
"Good Bye Forever"

Original poster
Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 16:18

@AlexDrake1981 she can name me all she likes but she doesn’t have my consent. My name does not make it binding, or my responsibility.

OP posts:
ArblemarchTFruitbat · 17/10/2021 16:18

Personally, I would want to leave her in no doubt that I wasn't going to do this - I'd reply briefly and non-dramatically 'Sorry, I'm busy that day.'

TrivialSoul · 17/10/2021 16:19

You have no obligation, moral or otherwise to reply to this message. She seems to care only for herself and is happy to pick you up when it's beneficial to her. You have no responsibility towards her child, ignore her message and leave her to srot out her own problems.

AlexDrake1981 · 17/10/2021 16:19

Just in case she tries to worm her way out of any responsibility. I was imagining a scenario where she might say she had had a verbal agreement with you.

Original poster
Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 16:20

@AlexDrake1981 she can try to say whatever she likes and god knows she will. But it’s not really my issue, is it? It’s her lookout.

OP posts:
diddl · 17/10/2021 16:20

@TheChip

Who would take no response as an "okay great, they're going to be there to collect ds from the airport" No response is a response.
A CF?
Original poster
Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 16:21

@TheChip @diddl a CF indeed!

OP posts:
Cheeseontoastwithchopsauce · 17/10/2021 16:21

'Sorry, busy'

THisbackwithavengeance · 17/10/2021 16:21

I'd pick the poor kid up if I was able to do so. I think doing the odd favour for people puts a bit of positive karma out there whether or not the recipient of the favour is a CF.

You sound a bit....dramatic OP. She's asked for a lift not for you to sign your house over to her. Absolutely decline if you don't want to/can't do it, but all this talk of social services and the faux outrage is just a bit OTT.

You obviously despise her so I have no idea why you have described her as a "friend".

Original poster
Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 16:23

@THisbackwithavengeance you do you, and I will do me.

Note my use of ‘friend’ was in parenthesis.

Not quite sure how in all of the facts you managed to conclude that I’m the one being dramatic 😂😂😂😂

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 17/10/2021 16:23

What's the betting she texts you a

?

in a bit? Grin

Rogue1001 · 17/10/2021 16:24

@NeverTheHootenanny

I think you should respond but don’t reference the airport pickup and just ask if she will sponsor you for some random challenge you’ve just made up.
Love this.

And OP, absolutely love your clarity of thought.
Are you going to block her?

Snugglepumpkin · 17/10/2021 16:24

[quote Peanutbuttermandms]@Snugglepumpkin no, I cannot accept your statement that I ‘could be the cause of a child being left alone in the airport at that age’.

That’s absolutely not the case and you’re factually misconceived.

I have no responsibility here whatsoever, for the avoidance of doubt. Bloody hell.[/quote]
I know it's not really your problem, but if the police are called to the abandoned child at the airport (which I agree is totally not your fault) & this child says "Peanutbuttermandms is supposed to be here to pick me up" or they call his mother & she says it, then it might become your problem if they contact you or the mother goes round posting on SM that you let them down & caused the issue other people might believe them & pile on you too, because in my experience nothing is ever these sort of peoples fault.

Surely texting the word no is easier than that?
Sounds like whatever friendship you had is over regardless of whether you answer or not.

Original poster
Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 16:24

@PuppyMonkey I will bet you that people will keep coming on here telling me that I’m the problem and I just just give him a lift. Lol,

OP posts:
BadNomad · 17/10/2021 16:24

@THisbackwithavengeance

I'd pick the poor kid up if I was able to do so. I think doing the odd favour for people puts a bit of positive karma out there whether or not the recipient of the favour is a CF.

You sound a bit....dramatic OP. She's asked for a lift not for you to sign your house over to her. Absolutely decline if you don't want to/can't do it, but all this talk of social services and the faux outrage is just a bit OTT.

You obviously despise her so I have no idea why you have described her as a "friend".

It's very kind of you to offer! I'm sure the OP can pass you the contact number for CF so you can make arrangements.
minimecantrollerskate · 17/10/2021 16:24

I would just reply "busy that day so no" and then don't respond again

YoungGiftedPlump · 17/10/2021 16:24

Which airline files unaccompanied 10-year olds?

AlexDrake1981 · 17/10/2021 16:25

It’s not your issue at all, I’m in total agreement with you. My initial posts are born out of concern that she would try to abscond any responsibility for her (IMO) terrible behaviour. They were not meant any other way.

Lostmarbles2021 · 17/10/2021 16:25

A 10 year old flying in on his own? Is that normal? I have a DC that age. Only just let them go out to call for friends on their own. I’m a bit concerned that this child isn’t well enough looked after if she hadn’t organised herself enough to get to the airport herself or have someone already there Sad is this neglect? Middle class/rich person neglect? I’m not sure, but it’s not sitting comfortably with me.

CF for sure. Not your responsibility. Let her know though so the poor kid gets met by someone, hopefully. Sad

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