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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be 24 and never want to live with a man again?

164 replies

heywassuphello · 15/10/2021 19:27

Anyone else?! 😩

OP posts:
Wrenna · 15/10/2021 19:29

Do you mean co habbing or marriage?

RaisedByPangolins · 15/10/2021 19:29

I’m 44 and never want to live with a man again! YANBU. Any particular reasons you’ve come to this conclusion so young? It takes most of us a lot longer Grin

LunaDeet · 15/10/2021 19:30

Be empowered by your choice. It’s perfectly valid.

Lovelymincepies · 15/10/2021 19:31

Nope, never want to live with a man again. Ridiculous egos.

Darkdarknights · 15/10/2021 19:31

I don’t want to either but I didn’t live with a man until I was 37!

museumum · 15/10/2021 19:34

I hadn’t actually lived with a man by 24. Not full time anyway.
Moved in with dh when he was 35 and had lived independently for a decade. Definitely better than a younger man straight from his parents home.

PotteringAlong · 15/10/2021 19:37

You’re 24. You’ve got about 70 years of life left. You won’t be middle aged until 2042. I wouldn’t make pronouncements about how the rest of your life will go at 24!

Original poster
heywassuphello · 15/10/2021 19:40

@Wrenna both I think.

I came to this conclusion after my boyfriend of 6 years left me yesterday. We have a 1.5 year old and a 2 month old (who are both ill atm). Im heartbroken but I also feel feel free and a bit lighter. Like im not having to justify my decisions or put a front on for anyone. Even though it's fucking hard caring for them both on my own.

Im sure my views will change but god the prospect of being free forever seems so inviting

OP posts:
Original poster
heywassuphello · 15/10/2021 19:41

@PotteringAlong

You’re 24. You’ve got about 70 years of life left. You won’t be middle aged until 2042. I wouldn’t make pronouncements about how the rest of your life will go at 24!
You are so right😂
OP posts:
PaperMonster · 15/10/2021 19:44

Am 52 and feel the same way.

GoWalkabout · 15/10/2021 19:47

Well, all the surveys say men are happier married and women are happier unmarried so you might well have life sussed. Look after yourself through the break up and look after your littlies and then live life on your own terms.

Twinkletter · 15/10/2021 19:47

I'm 35 and I will never have another man in my house ever again.

Sexnotgender · 15/10/2021 19:49

YANBU.

If anything happened to my husband I don’t think I’d make any effort to find anyone else.

There ARE good men out there but bloody hell they're thin on the ground!

I’m sorry you’ve been left in such a shit situation, I hope your children are feeling better soon.

nancybotwinbloom · 15/10/2021 19:50

I think there is a lot to be said for this.

My auntie is 60. Been with her partner for 20 years. She refuses to get married or live together. Sees him mid week once and he stays over on a weekend.

She's very happy.

He's just bought her a 2 carat commitment ring. She's living her best life. I envy her.

girafferafferaffe · 15/10/2021 19:51

If my h ever leaves or passes away I will happily live on my own. Wish I'd appreciated it more before he moved in!!

WhoWants2Know · 15/10/2021 19:51

I'm 44 and feel exactly the same. I don't see what would be in it for me, except more housework and beard stubble around the sink.

TheChip · 15/10/2021 19:56

I'm 34. Its just been me and my kids for about 8 years. I dont feel like I'll ever want to live, or even be with a man again.
I lost all interest when I was about 31 and so far there's not even a tiny sign that it's coming back any time soon. I'm the happiest I've ever been.

Original poster
heywassuphello · 15/10/2021 19:58

@TheChip

I'm 34. Its just been me and my kids for about 8 years. I dont feel like I'll ever want to live, or even be with a man again. I lost all interest when I was about 31 and so far there's not even a tiny sign that it's coming back any time soon. I'm the happiest I've ever been.
This gives me hope 🙌🏼🙌🏼
OP posts:
Original poster
heywassuphello · 15/10/2021 19:58

@nancybotwinbloom

I think there is a lot to be said for this.

My auntie is 60. Been with her partner for 20 years. She refuses to get married or live together. Sees him mid week once and he stays over on a weekend.

She's very happy.

He's just bought her a 2 carat commitment ring. She's living her best life. I envy her.

She's definitely winning
OP posts:
Lawstudentmumtoone · 15/10/2021 19:59

I’m 26 and feel the same. Been single for 4 years after split from ex husband and I love living with just me and DD. I also love my own space, being able to have a quiet bath at night and watching what I want on tv without having to have a conversation if I don’t want to - at the moment I still have no want or need for a relationship - but I genuinely think even if I eventually went on to remarry I would be one of those couples who live separately and have their own houses - I love my space and independence too much!

Original poster
heywassuphello · 15/10/2021 19:59

@Sexnotgender

YANBU.

If anything happened to my husband I don’t think I’d make any effort to find anyone else.

There ARE good men out there but bloody hell they're thin on the ground!

I’m sorry you’ve been left in such a shit situation, I hope your children are feeling better soon.

Thank you. It has helped get through this evening to write a bit of it down
OP posts:
Original poster
heywassuphello · 15/10/2021 20:00

@GoWalkabout

Well, all the surveys say men are happier married and women are happier unmarried so you might well have life sussed. Look after yourself through the break up and look after your littlies and then live life on your own terms.
Thank you, that sounds like a plan :)
OP posts:
Original poster
heywassuphello · 15/10/2021 20:01

@Lawstudentmumtoone

I’m 26 and feel the same. Been single for 4 years after split from ex husband and I love living with just me and DD. I also love my own space, being able to have a quiet bath at night and watching what I want on tv without having to have a conversation if I don’t want to - at the moment I still have no want or need for a relationship - but I genuinely think even if I eventually went on to remarry I would be one of those couples who live separately and have their own houses - I love my space and independence too much!
I'm glad im not the only one feeling this so young 😂
OP posts:
GinIronic · 15/10/2021 20:02

Good choice.

amillionrosepetals · 15/10/2021 20:15

I'm 65 and very happily single. Never lived with a man full time (part time was bad enough lol). I definitely would not do it now, I do not wish to spend my twilight years washing some grumpy old man's underpants.